Nell: Now, you had a bad night so you’re going to have a quiet day today.

Me: I’m in rather a lot of pain this time.

Nell: That was to be expected but never fear we are here.

Me: You’re certainly keeping close by my side.

Nell: Of course we are.

Me: I think Dave’s struggling a little with staying close but not too close.

Nell: David knows he has to be very careful around you which is not easy when you’re a large animal.

Me: Bless him. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: So, the operation went extremely well.

Me: It did and thank you for all the messages of support.

Nell: They’ve removed a large area around the original scar.

Me: Yes. I have 14 stitches.

Nell: The lovely lady Diane who performed the procedure didn’t want to leave it at 13 so she put another one in.

Me: She did and I’d like to thank her for looking after me so well.

Nell: She was there for your first procedure too, wasn’t she?

Me: Yes. She’s one of those no nonsense type of people.

Nell: Which is exactly what you need in situations like that.

Me: You would know.

Nell: These things are best done and dusted.

Me: They are. My special nurse Sophie popped in to see me.

Nell: She will be looking after you over the next year.

Me: Yes, I’m seeing her in 3 months and can call her if there’s anything I’m worried about.

Nell: All you have to do now is rest and recover.

Me: Yes. I think today might be a pyjama day.

Nell: The llamas would agree.

Me: Have the bowler hats and spectacles gone?

Nell: Unfortunately not. Now, back to bed, please. You need to rest.

Me; Yes. Sorry.

Nell: It’s still very early.

Me: Yes, Kev and I want to allow enough time so I don’t feel rushed.

Nell: Have you had any breakfast?

Me: I’m not really hungry.

Nell: The hospital said you should have something to eat before you go.

Me: I know. I’ll have some cereal.

Nell: Good, and a nice cup of tea. Poppy just made a fresh pot.

Me: That’s kind of her.

Nell: I wish you would let me go with you to the hospital.

Me: Kev will be there, Nell, and I prefer to know you’re looking after everyone at home.

Nell: I accept your decision although I’d actually be much happier going with you.

Me: I know you would but I’ll be fine.

Nell: I’ll be there when you come home then.

Me: Yes.

Nell: David knows the snuggles will have to wait until you’re stronger.

Me: Poor darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He doesn’t like it when I’m not well.

Nell: Nobody does.

Me: I must say the past few months have been among the toughest I’ve ever been through.

Nell: We’re nearly there now. You can do this.

Me: Yes, I can. I’m unleashing my inner warrior as we speak.

Nell: Good for you.

Me: I’ll be very glad when this procedure is over.

Nell: We all will.

Me: I’m a bit scared to be honest.

Nell: Of course you are and it’s absolutely fine and understandable.

Me: I wish I was braver.

Nell: You are. Sharing this with everyone is very brave.

Me: Thank you. I’m so glad I did. The support I’ve received from everyone has been truly amazing.

Nell: We’re all right behind you.

Me: I know you are. I can feel the love. Sorry for being tearful.

Nell: No need for sorries. Not today.

Me: Come upstairs, Nell. I’ve just seen the sweetest thing.

Nell: I’m fine down here, thank you. Why don’t you join me for a cup of Earl Grey by the fire and tell me about it?

Me: Okay. So, Harriet and Poppy were snuggling at the window watching and waiting while Kev was out shopping.

Nell: Yes, they do that whenever either of you are away.

Me: I know but the sweet thing is that after a while Dave joined them.

Nell: What’s sweet about that?

Me: He joined them properly, Nell. He snuggled right up to Poppy too.

Nell: David is a snuggly animal. We all know that.

Me: Yes, but not recently. The last time I saw him he was all aloof and distant.

Nell: Ah yes. He’s back to normal now.

Me: How did that happen? Did you do something?

Nell: We took Rupert’s advice.

Me: What was it?

Nell: Let nature take its course.

Me: What does that mean?

Nell: What goes in must come out.

Me: Oh, I see. Clever old Knitwear Wolf.

Nell: Less of the old, please.

Me: Mature then.

Nell: Poppy made David a large breakfast this morning with extra bacon and then Rupert took him on a long walk by the sea.

Me: And that did the job?

Nell: Don’t be vulgar. Let’s just say, any honey David may, or may not, have consumed has gone.

Me: Thank goodness. My gorgeous Big Brave Beautiful Boy is back to snuggle another day.

Nell: The llamas are still being intellectual, however.

Me: Really?

Nell: I caught them discussing whether Proust was really worth reading.

Me: I’m on their side.

Nell: And moaning about the state of the economy.

Me: Were they still wearing spectacles?

Nell: Yes, and bowler hats.

Me: Oh dear. Sorry.

Me: Harriet looks concerned. Is it because it’s a rainy Monday?

Nell: It has nothing at all to do with the weather.

Me: Well, something is wrong.

Nell: David is being distant and aloof.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: When Harriet went over to him for her usual morning snuggle he walked away.

Me: He never does that. Dave loves snuggles. He’s the snuggliest dog I know.

Nell: I know. It’s his strength and weakness.

Me: He’s been pushing you away recently, too.

Nell: Yes, and last night when we all curled up on the sofa after Strictly he chose to lie alone on the chair.

Me: Maybe he just needs some space.

Nell: David never needs space. David invades space. He thrives on being with others.

Me: Yes, I know.

Nell: Harriet is afraid David might have eaten something by mistake.

Me: He does that all the time, Nell.

Nell: Yes, but we’re not talking Yorkshire puddings here.

Me: I never mentioned them.

Nell: I know you and David like to steal one if you can.

Me: They’re so tasty hot out of the oven.

Nell: Harriet thinks David might have eaten the suspicious honey.

Me: Oh no.

Nell: The empty jar was found under the sofa.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: And it had been licked clean.

Me: He likes to lick things clean. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Yes.

Me: Have you asked him?

Nell: Not yet, but we will.

Me: So, Poppy didn’t put any honey in the cakes?

Nell: Only a few spoonfuls.

Me: I thought the llamas ate the cakes.

Nell: They did.

Me: Are they behaving any differently?

Nell: Didn’t you notice?

Me: No.

Nell: They’re all sitting in the field wearing spectacles and reading the Financial Times.

Me: Oh dear. Sorry.

Me: I’m glad to see you and Dave are friends again. Look at you snuggling up together.

Nell: I don’t do snuggling and we’re more than friends. We’re family.

Me: I know, but yesterday Dave was in a bit of a grumpy mood and pushed you away.

Nell: David is never grumpy for long. He’s an optimistic sort of animal.

Me: Yes, he is. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: He felt much better after several sausages and a FaceTime with Sally.

Me: I’m so glad.

Nell: Now, I have some good news and bad news. Which would you like first?

Me: Good news, please.

Nell: You’ll be pleased to hear the honey has gone.

Me: Well, that’s a relief. Hopefully Poppy will soon be back to her old self. What’s the bad news?

Nell: We don’t know where it’s gone.

Me: Do you think someone stole it?

Nell: I’m hoping that’s the case.

Me: Why?

Nell: Because otherwise it’s somewhere in Poppy’s cakes.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: She uses honey in her baking.

Me: We’ll just have to stop eating cake then.

Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. Life is meaningless without cake.

Me: That’s a slight exaggeration, Nell, but I know what you mean.

Nell: The Welsh corgi choir will be expecting cake after Sunday Songs.

Me: They can’t have any.

Nell: The llamas already had some for breakfast.

Me: For breakfast?

Nell: It’s Sunday.

Me: Can’t Poppy make some more cakes? Without honey in them?

Nell: Poppy has moved on to preparing the Sunday roast. She’s knee deep in carrots and parsnips. She’s no time for baking.

Me: We’ll just have to pop to the shops then and buy some.

Nell: Shop bought cake? Are you insane? Poppy would never allow it.

Me: No. You’re right. Sorry.

Me: Why is Dave cross with you again?

Nell: Is he? I hadn’t noticed.

Me: He’s pushing your sofa away with two paws this time.

Nell: David is overreacting. Best to ignore him when he’s like this.

Me: Is it about the cushions? Only you seem to have taken most of them.

Nell: No, it’s not, and besides I’m a senior Labrador and need comfort.

Me: What’s wrong then?

Nell: If you must know I’m not allowing feathered hats in the living room.

Me: Why?

Nell: We have an open fire and David is extremely accident prone.

Me: He is a bit clumsy.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Is there any reason why Dave wants to wear a feathered hat today, apart from the fact that Strictly is on later?

Nell: ‘Remember, remember the 5th of November.’

Me: Oh yes. It’s Guy Fawkes Day. That explains the sausages.

Nell: Yes. Sausages are allowed for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Me: A quick hot dog for lunch will be enough for me.

Nell: More for us then.

Me: This is a difficult day for a lot of animals, isn’t it?

Nell: Yes. I’m afraid fireworks are not our friends.

Me: Maybe that’s what has upset Dave?

Nell: Possibly, but I think he’s missing Sally.

Me: Poor darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: And he can’t understand why Poppy has rejected John the Doberman.

Me: None of us can. Poppy is not herself at all.

Nell: It’s that honey you gave her. She’s been strange ever since she started eating it.

Me: I didn’t give her any honey.

Nell: We know it was you. It said ‘For Pops’ on the label and you’re the only one who calls her that.

Me: It wasn’t me.

Nell: Then who was it?

Me: I have no idea. Sorry.

Me: The colours down at our beach were especially lovely today, weren’t they?

Nell: Yes, sunshine makes everything brighter.

Me: I always think the kite surfers look rather magical. They dance around like butterflies.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: It must be amazing to be lifted right up out of the water.

Nell: Only to crash down again.

Me: They rarely do that and it never bothers them if they do. Most surfers are extremely chilled.

Nell: You’re in a good mood.

Me: The sun is shining and people are being very kind.

Nell: Yes, they are.

Me: And I’m having my hair done this afternoon.

Nell: Good. Sophie always looks after you.

Me: Yes, bless her. Katy rang to say they’ve sold all of my books so can I bring some more.

Nell: That’s excellent news. The more we can sell the closer we get to the next one being published.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Now, Poppy is trying to decide when to attend her sword awareness course.

Me: As soon as possible. Are you going with her?

Nell: I am. We shall be away for the whole day so it has to be before Wednesday as you will need us after your operation.

Me: I think I might.

Nell: What do you feel about Monday?

Me: Sounds good.

Nell: Rupert will take us on his motorbike.

Me: In the sidecar, I hope.

Nell: Where else? He’ll have to de-seal it first, though.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: Princess and Sir Roger Blubbery use it all the time. I don’t want to be sitting on a wet cushion or some leftover mackerel.

Me: It has cushions?

Nell: Yes, and a warm blanket.

Me: How very Knitwear Wolf.

Nell: Rupert likes me to travel in style.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

Me: It was wonderfully deserted on the beach, wasn’t it?

Nell: Probably because nobody else wanted to brave those gale force winds.

Me: I thought it was darkly atmospheric.

Nell: The sand blew straight in my eyes.

Me: You were walking really fast. Maybe it’s that 500g you lost. Chloe is very pleased with you.

Nell: Now, it’s a new month and several people have told you to remind everyone about buying you a cup of Earl Grey.

Me: I don’t like doing that.

Nell: Even one cup makes all the difference.

Me: I know and people have been so kind.

Nell: The link is at the top of the Conversations with Nell page on FB and on http://www.conversationswithnell.org.

Me: Thank you.

Nell: Your second operation is next week so Kev and I will work on ‘Nell’s Little Book of Poems’ while you’re convalescing.

Me: I’m a bit scared.

Nell: The sooner it’s done the sooner you can get on with your life.

Me: You’re right. I wish I was braver.

Nell: You’re braver than you think.

Me: I’ve joined a lovely group of people with the same cancer as mine and they said you get used to living with the fear.

Nell: I’m sure you do. Let’s get the next part over with first.

Me: Yes.

Nell: We’re all here for you.

Me: You are and I’m so very grateful for that.

Nell: Moving on, the big news is that Poppy has agreed to attend the sword awareness course.

Me: That’s a relief.

Nell: Rupert had an uphill struggle explaining there was no need for her to go there in full body armour but he got there in the end.

Me: So, she’s going unarmed?

Nell: Of course not. Poppy never goes anywhere without her sword.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Why is Dave pushing your sofa away?

Nell: He doesn’t like it when I’m angry.

Me: What’s happened?

Nell: The Royal Terriers finally called me back.

Me: So, where are the Beefeaters?

Nell: There are no Beefeaters.

Me: Yes, there are, Nell.

Nell: I mean down here in Devon.

Me: Did they get lost?

Nell: They never left London.

Me: What about the letter?

Nell: It’s a forgery. The palace never sent it.

Me: Who did?

Nell: As Rupert pointed out at Morning Thoughts the clue is in the name.

Me: Now, I’m really confused.

Nell: Beef eaters.

Me: Still confused.

Nell: Who else has beef in their name?

Me: Are you talking about the Beefies?

Nell: Yes.

Me: The scoundrels. Is that why the letter was soggy?

Nell: It wasn’t soggy. It was stained.

Me: With sea water?

Nell: Yes. Henry and Horst tasted a little and confirmed our suspicions.

Me: They’re such brave and helpful woodlice.

Nell: They are.

Me: Do you think the Beefies told the Royal Terriers about Poppy knighting people too?

Nell: I’m sure of it. The palace received an anonymous letter.

Me: What a nasty thing to do.

Nell: Despicable.

Me: Does Poppy know?

Nell: She does. She’s determined to go down to the beach to confront them.

Me: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

Nell: I agree. Beefies are best ignored whenever possible. It infuriates them.

Me: What about the palace? Are they willing to let Poppy keep her sword?

Nell: Yes, on condition that she attends the sword awareness course.

Me: Is she going to go?

Nell: Yes, she is. Even if I have to take her there myself.

Me: I could take her, Nell. I did a fencing course in my youth.

Nell: Don’t be silly.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

Me: Dave is a very big dog.

Nell: And you’re only noticing that now?

Me: When Tony came to the door and he jumped up to greet him you could really see his size.

Nell: David is extremely pushy when it comes to Tony.

Me: They have a special bond.

Nell: At least Tony and I managed a quick chat once David had calmed down.

Me: Good. Did you discuss the weather? Only, it was awfully rainy last night.

Nell: Of course not. We were talking about Beefeaters.

Me: Where are they?

Nell: Tony has no idea.

Me: They can’t be in Devon yet because Tony knows exactly what’s going on down here.

Nell: Only in our area.

Me: No, I think there’s a postpeople’s grapevine. They know everything.

Nell: Well nobody knows where the Beefeaters have gone.

Me: That sounds like the title of a very strange song.

Nell: And what’s more Tony didn’t deliver the letter from the palace.

Me: Was it one of the other posties?

Nell: No, it was hand delivered with no stamp.

Me: Very interesting.

Nell: Yes.

Me: If the Beefeaters delivered it why didn’t they stay?

Nell: Nobody said it was the Beefeaters.

Me: True.

Nell: I looked at the letter again and it has a clear water mark.

Me: Was it a crown?

Nell: No, not a watermark, a water mark.

Me: That’s rather disappointing. You wouldn’t expect the palace to send out a soggy letter.

Nell: It was stained not soggy.

Me: I’ve had a worrying thought.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: What if the letter wasn’t delivered by hand but by paw? Or even claw?

Nell: You may be on to something there.

Me: I should ask the Royal Terriers.

Nell: No, I should. You wait here.

Me: Yes. Sorry.