Me: Do you know what the boys are discussing?

Nell: Which boys? We have quite a few here. I hope you don’t mean Henry and Horst as I can never hear a thing they say to me.

Me: Dave and Nigel. They’re deep in discussion in the living room.

Nell: As a matter of fact, Nosey Parker, I might do.

Me: Nigel seems to be giving Dave advice and that’s always a worry.

Nell: I think Nigel’s angling to be David’s manager.

Me: Manager?

Nell: After yesterday’s success at the pub David and The Big Cat Vibe are going to be in high demand.

Me: I’m not sure Nigel’s the dog for the job.

Nell: Neither am I.

Me: What about you?

Nell: I considered throwing my collar in the ring but I’ve enough to do running this place.

Me: It’s hat in the ring.

Nell: I’m not throwing my hat anywhere, thank you.

Me: I took some atmospheric photos of the pub garden before it all started. I love the way you can see the cows mooching about in the background.

Nell: They were listening. Cows are extremely inquisitive animals and highly skilled at looking bored.

Me: Albert wasn’t listening. He’s almost deaf.

Nell: If you were a pub cat you would be deaf. All that noise.

Me: Lunch was lovely, wasn’t it?

Nell: Yes.

Me: It was good to see the Hoffmanns letting their hair down for a change. They’re always so busy cooking.

Nell: Are they moulting, too? It’s such a nuisance in the summer months. Hair everywhere.

Me: That’s not what I meant. They were dancing to the band.

Nell: They were surprisingly light on their paws.

Me: They reminded me of the Welsh Corgi Choir. Nimbler than you would expect.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Sorry.

Me: I’m glad you managed a walk before the heatwave.

Nell: So am I. It was lovely and cool by the river.

Me: We’re going to have to be very careful in the heat.

Nell: We are.

Me: Since my skin cancer diagnosis I see the sun differently.

Nell: I know.

Me: I used to love sitting in the sun with a good book.

Nell: We can sit in the shade together.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Now, some might say it’s too hot for a Sunday roast.

Me: Oh no.

Nell: But that someone is not the Martin family.

Me: Thank goodness. I could eat a Sunday roast in any weather.

Nell: It is, however, far too hot for bears to be stuck in the kitchen all day.

Me: You’re right. We should probably have salad.

Nell: Stuff and nonsense. We’re going to the pub.

Me: We are?

Nell: Yes, I’ve booked the private dining room and we have access to the garden so they can accommodate us all.

Me: Do they realise what ‘all’ means?

Nell: The landlords Ian and Adrian have been coming to Sunday Songs for weeks. They know who we are.

Me: They might draw the line at lions and tigers.

Nell: Nonsense. Dave and the Big Cat Vibe are booked to play in the pub garden this afternoon.

Me: What about lunch? Dave can’t miss that.

Nell: David’s having an early lunch.

Me: Won’t he get jealous when he sees us eating and forget he’s already had his?

Nell: He’s being paid in beef sandwiches. He’ll be fine.

Me: You know the Big Cat Vibe?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Who’s in it?

Nell: Beauregard, Roary and Mrs King.

Me: Nobody else?

Nell: No. The Cat doesn’t do bands with Big in their name.

Me: Just checking. Sorry.

Me: Kev and the Puppies enjoyed their long walk yesterday. Kev sent me photos of them.

Nell: It looks lovely.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Getting older isn’t always easy, is it?

Me: No, it isn’t.

Nell: There was a time not so long ago when I would have been enjoying a long walk with them, too.

Me: I know.

Nell: Now I just look at the photos.

Me: We’ll go for a little stroll later, Nell. Maybe by the river?

Nell: I’d like that. We could stop for a scone afterwards in the cafe.

Me: Yes. We could.

Nell: Although, I wish people would accept it’s jam first and then cream.

Me: That’s not the Devonian way.

Nell: No. It’s the right way.

Me: It’s supposed to be turning really hot later so we’ll have to pick our time very carefully.

Nell: It’s not hot at the moment. In fact it’s positively drizzly out there.

Me: I know. The llamas hair has gone all curly. It’s adorable.

Nell: They need a good brush, if you ask me.

Me: We should really go out now but we haven’t had breakfast yet.

Nell: Saturday is bacon sandwich day. Breakfast cannot be rushed.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: And nobody can manage a cream tea at this time of day.

Me: Dave could. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Did you know David’s been asked to perform at the village fete next weekend?

Me: Dave has?

Nell: Yes, he’s going to sing a few numbers with his band.

Me: I always enjoy The Whippets Institute Big Band.

Nell: Not this time. David’s moved away from Swing.

Me: Really?

Nell: Yes. He’s in to the Big Cat Vibe.

Me: But Dave’s a Labrador.

Nell: Labradors can still have a Big Cat backing band.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I absolutely love it when you show your playful side.

Nell: I’m a Senior Labrador. I don’t have a playful side.

Me: You most definitely do, Nell. I saw you and Harriet just now playing Cheeky Animals.

Nell: We were having a serious conversation.

Me: No, you weren’t. You were sticking your tongues out at each other.

Nell: Fine. I suppose there might have been some brief game playing inbetween. I won, of course.

Me: It looked more like a draw to me.

Nell: Did it?

Me: You’re obviously both excellent players.

Nell: I thought I had the upper paw, but you might be right.

Me: What were you talking about before the urge to play overcame you?

Nell: The birds and the bees, if you must know.

Me: I’d have thought you both knew about that already.

Nell: There’s always something to be learned. Bees are such interesting creatures and as for birds, well, where do I even begin? There are simply so many of them. Especially here in our village.

Me: Oh. So you were really talking about birds and bees?

Nell: Didn’t I literally just say that?

Me: Never mind.

Nell: Bernard Honeyman says the NHS is completely overwhelmed at the moment.

Me: It has been for years.

Nell: No, it hasn’t. There’s been a recent run on honey after the Twin Bears Escape and the bees are trying to keep up with demand.

Me: Oh yes. I keep thinking you’re talking about the health service.

Nell: I’m talking about honey.

Me: Honey isn’t good for birds.

Nell: Nobody said it was.

Me: It’s a shame really because the birds could help the bees with the distribution of honey.

Nell: Which is what Harriet and I were discussing before you interrupted us.

Me: I see. Sorry.

Nell: You’re not going to believe this.

Me: I might. The puppies look concerned. Is it about the flies again?

Nell: No, it’s about Bernard and the twin bears.

Me: Is that a band?

Nell: No.

Me: Are you talking about Bernard Bee?

Nell: Yes. Bernard Honeyman, to be exact.

Me: Did you just say twin bears?

Nell: I did.

Me: What’s Bernard got to do with twin bears?

Nell: Bernard Honeyman runs the NHS.

Me: Don’t be silly, Nell. He can’t run the NHS. He’s a bee.

Nell: The National Honey Service is run completely by bees.

Me: Oh, I see. I thought you meant the National Health Service, but what’s that got to do with bears?

Nell: Nothing. I’m talking about honey.

Me: So am I, now.

Nell: Bears love honey. Everyone knows that.

Me: Nothing beats honey on a freshly baked roll.

Nell: Anyway, Bernard Honeyman was discussing honey with Herr Hoffmann when Frau Hoffmann asked him about the twin bears.

Me: Why?

Nell: Because Mish and Lucy are European brown bears and so are the Hoffmanns.

Me: Who are Mish and Lucy?

Nell: Don’t you read the news at all?

Me: Usually.

Nell: Mish and Lucy escaped from their enclosure in Devon.

Me: I thought the Hoffmanns were the only bears in Devon.

Nell: They’re the only free living bears, as far as we know. Well, they were until Mish and Lucy escaped.

Me: Are they coming to stay here? Only the big cats are still in the bunk beds.

Nell: No. They’re back in the enclosure now. They fell asleep after eating all the honey. Why are you smiling?

Me: Because Winnie the Pooh is not alone in loving honey and you can get it on the NHS.

Nell: From the NHS.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: It was lovely to be back in the activity field again, wasn’t it?

Nell: Yes, it was.

Me: It seems ages since we were last there.

Nell: You’ve been too unwell.

Me: I suppose I have. Can we talk about the Semicircle of Power, please?

Nell: Not that again.

Me: I know you allowed me to sit there.

Nell: Yes, I did.

Me: Even though I didn’t have the password.

Nell: You’re not well.

Me: But nobody else was allowed in at all.

Nell: No password. No entry.

Me: It’s not your Semicircle.

Nell: Whatever. Now, rumour has it that Bernard tried to enter your bedroom window this morning.

Me: What?

Nell: Fortunately he found his way out almost immediately, so all was well.

Me: Who is Bernard?

Nell: Our local Honeyman.

Me: Someone climbed through my bedroom window and you’re only telling me this now? Why didn’t he knock on the door?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Bees don’t knock. Bernard flew in by accident.

Me: Oh, I see.

Nell: One of the Martins did the same thing a few days ago. I think it was Maureen. She got herself caught in the guest room curtains. Poor thing.

Me: I don’t know a Maureen Martin.

Nell: You can’t know them all. There are so many.

Me: I feel like I should if she’s family.

Nell: I wouldn’t call the House Martins family. They live in the eaves of our house but we’re not related as such.

Me: Oh, I see.

Nell: Anyway, if Bernard flies in again, please escort him out. He’s not an inside bee.

Me: Is there such a thing?

Nell: The Queen Bee rarely leaves the hive.

Me: Being queen is awfully tiring. You should know all about that.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Sorry.

Me: What was going on just now when I walked into the living room?

Nell: Nothing.

Me: Something was definitely going on. I could tell by your faces.

Nell: It was just Morning Thoughts.

Me: No. You and Harriet looked really guilty.

Nell: Nonsense.

Me: And Dave looked annoyed with you and he hardly ever gets annoyed with anyone. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: You have far too much imagination for your own good.

Me: I know what I saw. What have you and Harriet done?

Nell: Fine. We might have licked the bowl.

Me: What bowl?

Nell: The cauliflower cheese bowl.

Me: With the leftovers in it?

Nell: Yes. It was lying there.

Me: But Dave licks that bowl.

Nell: I know.

Me: He always licks that bowl. It’s his treat.

Nell: I know.

Me: You get to lick other bowls.

Nell: Mine is always leftover salad.

Me: We’re watching your weight and you love salad.

Nell: And Harriet’s is always leftover steamed vegetables.

Me: Harriet loves vegetables.

Nell: Neither of those bowls have delicious sticky bits of cheese in them.

Me: True.

Nell: We thought it was our turn for a change.

Me: You knew it was Dave’s bowl.

Nell: Sharing is caring.

Me: Did you share your salad with him?

Nell: Not really.

Me: Did Harriet share her vegetables?

Nell: David doesn’t like steamed vegetables.

Me: I’m very disappointed in you both.

Nell: So is David. He said he would have shared it with us if we’d asked him.

Me: I bet that made you feel even worse.

Nell: It did.

Me: I don’t imagine you’ll be doing it again in a hurry.

Nell: I suppose not.

Me: You suppose?

Nell: It was cauliflower cheese and I’m a Labrador. What do you expect?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I’m glad you and I were able to go on a little walk together yesterday. We didn’t walk far but it was still lovely.

Nell: The quiet was most enjoyable after the noise and drama of Sunday Songs.

Me: I don’t think the Welsh Corgi Choir should have tried to sing over the Beefy Choir.

Nell: And I don’t know why the llamas started cartwheeling.

Me: Gladys said it was an interpretive dance.

Nell: It was complete and utter chaos.

Me: You said we should all just grin and bear it.

Nell: Corgis have a very short fuse. Especially when it comes to seagulls singing,

Me: Seagulls really can’t sing, can they?

Nell: They looked unjustifiably pleased with themselves. Why did everyone clap at the end?

Me: Because it had stopped?

Nell: You might be right. Please tell me nobody has a birthday this week.

Me: They don’t.

Nell: Good. Because you’re going to have to concentrate on getting well.

Me: I’m doing a lot better.

Nell: You’re still coughing and sneezing.

Me: The pollen isn’t helping.

Nell: This cold has gone on too long.

Me: Chris still has it. It’s a nasty one.

Nell: At least Kev and Charlotte are doing better.

Me: I don’t seem to be able to deal with colds very well since I had Covid.

Nell: I know. Now, you need to start thinking about Chris and Shannon’s wedding and what you’re going to wear.

Me: Kev and I were going to go shopping.

Nell: That will have to wait. In the meantime The Cat has ordered several dresses.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Sequins and feathers aren’t really my thing.

Nell: You’re the mother of the groom, not Lady BaBa. Of course there won’t be sequins.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Harriet’s on alert in the sitting room. Do we know why?

Nell: It’s the flies. She can’t stand them.

Me: I don’t like them either.

Nell: Nobody does. Nasty things.

Me: Now I feel sorry for them.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Imagine arriving at a party and everyone saying ‘Oh no. Not you.’

Nell: They shouldn’t be at the party in the first place. They won’t have been invited.

Me: I suppose not.

Nell: And if you’re going to gatecrash a party don’t announce yourself loudly, walk all over the food, and buzz in everyone’s faces with jam on your feet.

Me: True.

Nell: Now, Sunday Songs today is a celebration of families.

Me: How lovely.

Nell: We’ve had a lot of birthdays recently and also a farewell to your aunt so we thought it a fitting tribute.

Me: I agree. Family is so important.

Nell: And the good thing is families come in all shapes and sizes.

Me: Yes, they do.

Nell: You don’t have to be related to someone to see them as family,

Me: Or even be the same species.

Nell: Quite.

Me: I see our Conversations with Nell community as family.

Nell: So do I.

Me: I was reading people’s kind comments yesterday and they had come from all over the world and I thought how lucky we are to have such wonderful friends.

Nell: I completely agree. Now, the Beefies obviously aren’t family.

Me: No, they are not.

Nell: But rumour has it that Stephen Seagull intends to sing at Sunday Songs.

Me: He has a terrible voice.

Nell: That’s not the point.

Me: No. Could the Welsh Corgi Choir sing over him?

Nell: He’s bringing the Beefy Choir.

Me: What can we do?

Nell: Simply grin and bear it.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

Nell: It’s far too hot today.

Me: Yes. Did you just wrinkle your nose? I’m loving the crossed paws.

Nell: Nigel is climbing on the furniture again. It’s not allowed.

Me: He’s only looking out for Kev.

Nell: Chairs are for sitting in, not climbing on. We’re not llamas.

Me: He’s just excited. He didn’t like us being away all day yesterday.

Nell: How was your aunt’s funeral?

Me: It was beautiful. A true celebration of her life with so much love.

Nell: I’m glad.

Me: It was lovely to see the cousins again and to share happy memories of her with them.

Nell: Your aunt was an amazing woman.

Me: Yes, she was. She went trekking in Nepal in her 70’s and hang gliding in Australia.

Nell: Don’t do anything like that, please.

Me: I won’t. I’m not the hang gliding type.

Nell: How are you feeling today?

Me: Exhausted, to be honest. I wish this wretched cold would go away.

Nell: It will, eventually. Herr Hoffmann has suggested Indian King prawns for dinner.

Me: Goodness me. That’s adventurous.

Nell: He’s managed to get his paws on some beautiful big prawns and lots of fresh chilli.

Me: I’m not sure you dogs should be eating chilli.

Nell: Don’t worry about us. We’re having fish and chips. The prawns are for you, Kev and Charlotte. You’re the ones with a cold.

Me: I remember eating a fiery red chilli dish in New Mexico one time. It chased my cold away.

Nell: Exactly. And Malcolm can eat the shells.

Me: That’s a bit harsh.

Nell: He loves them and they help him preserve his flamingo pinkness.

Me: Oh yes. I’d forgotten that.

Nell: It’s not surprising. You’ve had a lot to think about and you’re still not well.

Me: Yes. Sorry.