Nell: We have some very sad news for you all today.

Me: Yes, we do.

Nell: Last night Poppy was taken very ill with breathing difficulties.

Me: Kev and I rushed her to the emergency vets and during the examination she collapsed twice.

Nell: The vets did a scan and found a huge tumour.

Me: As you might know Poppy had Cushing’s Disease so was already weakened.

Nell: And she had also developed a problem with her heart.

Me: The vets didn’t expect her to survive an operation and Kev and I made the hardest decision to let her go.

Nell: It was the right thing to do.

Me: We couldn’t let her suffer a moment longer.

Nell: You were both there by her side.

Me: Yes, we were.

Nell: Stroking her head and telling her you loved her.

Me: Which we do and always will.

Nell: As a family we are heartbroken and know you will be too as you are part of our family.

Me: Which is why we are sharing the news with you today.

Nell: You are very brave to be writing this at such a time.

Me: I don’t feel brave at all. Saying goodbye to our darling Poppy has broken my heart.

Nell: Mine too.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: No sorries. Not today.

Me: It was lovely to see our old friends Terry and Marian yesterday, wasn’t it?

Nell: Yes, although David shouldn’t have climbed onto Marian’s lap.

Me: I’d rather discuss your behaviour.

Nell: Why?

Me: It was completely out of character.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Cuddling up to Terry like that.

Nell: I remember Terry from my Oxfordshire days as a puppy.

Me: You never cuddle anyone.

Nell: I do, occasionally.

Me: You were gazing lovingly into his eyes.

Nell: Nonsense.

Me: And when Harriet came over to join in you sent her away.

Nell: Did I?

Me: You said, ‘Off the cloth, moth.’

Nell: Oh yes.

Me: That was very rude.

Nell: I thought it was quite funny. Harriet didn’t mind.

Me: I hope not.

Nell: Moving on, I have some big news.

Me: Tell me.

Nell: The Beefies have reported a sighting of a bear and a seal.

Me: Really? Where?

Nell: Swimming in the sea.

Me: Are they sure it was Herr Hoffmann and Sir Roger?

Nell: The bear was wearing a hat and the seal was wearing a crown.

Me: Roger Blubbery shouldn’t be wearing a crown.

Nell: That’s not the point. And he’s a knight of the realm.

Me: Except he isn’t.

Nell: Anyway, according to the Beefies they were having a lovely time.

Me: How do they know?

Nell: The bear was singing.

Me: Really?

Nell: And throwing fish in the air.

Me: Was it mackerel?

Nell: Does it matter?

Me: I suppose not. Can we believe them?

Nell: Don’t worry. Henry and Horst are on the case.

Me: How?

Nell: They’re flying out there to see for themselves..

Me: But they’re woodlice, Nell. They don’t have wings.

Nell: They’re joining Owl Pacino and the Royal Owl Force. Do keep up.

Me: Sorry.

Me: You and Dave were in deep discussion on our walk.

Nell: David thought he saw a bear in a tree.

Me: Was it a bear?

Nell: Don’t you think I would have told you?

Me: What was it then?

Nell: A large cat.

Me: Like a tiger, or a lion?

Nell: No. Like one of The Cat’s relatives.

Me: Oh. You mean a Maine Coon?

Nell: Yes.

Me: I can’t believe there’s still no sign of Herr Hoffmann?

Nell: He appears to have vanished into thin air.

Me: He can’t have done.

Nell: I know that.

Me: Do you think we should ask the Beefies?

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: They’re always flying around poking their beaks into everything. They might have seen something.

Nell: They’re not going to tell us if they have, are they?

Me: What if we offer a reward?

Nell: I’m not rewarding a Beefy.

Me: They’d do anything for one of Poppy’s scones.

Nell: They’re definitely not to be trusted.

Me: Maybe we should call Book a Beefy and ask Terry.

Nell: You don’t always get Terry when you Book a Beefy.

Me: We could request him specifically.

Nell: Yes, it might be worth a try.

Me: Terry could put the word out on the Book a Beefy network.

Nell: That’s actually quite a good idea.

Me: Maybe we could give Terry and Tony the ‘Have You Seen This Bear?’ posters to distribute on their rounds?

Nell: Yes. Herr Hoffmann isn’t the only one missing, by the way. Sir Roger Blubbery didn’t come home last night.

Me: You know he’s only a Sir because Poppy knighted him with her sword, don’t you?

Nell: Don’t start all that again. You’ll be telling me David isn’t the Mayor of Kingsbridge next.

Me: He wasn’t. Sorry.

Me: Any news of Herr Hoffmann?

Nell: Not yet. Rupert drove down to the beach at first light to start searching for him again.

Me: We can’t just lose an elderly bear. Someone must have noticed him.

Nell: Harriet has made posters with ‘Have You Seen This Bear?’ and contact details. Jim the Farm Dog is going to help her distribute them in town.

Me: Is that wise?

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: It makes him sound dangerous. We don’t want a bear hunt.

Nell: He’s wearing a hat. It’s not exactly wild.

Me: Fair enough. Tell me what happened again.

Nell: Rupert took him down to the beach and after a little difficulty getting him out of the sidecar he managed to find a comfortable place for him to rest on a soft blanket.

Me: Did he eat his honey sandwiches?

Nell: I don’t know and that’s not the point.

Me: We don’t want him wandering around all lost and hungry.

Nell: Anyway, Rupert said Herr Hoffmann soon fell asleep so he thought it would be safe to leave him for a short time while he ran some errands.

Me: But it wasn’t.

Nell: No. When Rupert returned, the blanket and picnic were still there but Herr Hoffmann wasn’t.

Me: Where was that wretched lion? I thought he was supposed to be keeping an eye on Herr Hoffmann too.

Nell: Lionel was on his boat. He was sailing over to take Herr Hoffmann for tea on the island. Remember?

Me: Maybe he’s kidnapped him? He’s done it before.

Nell: Nonsense. When he got to the beach Herr Hoffmann had gone.

Me: He can’t just have disappeared, Nell.

Nell: He won’t have gone far. It’s not as if he’s a sprightly sort of bear. Stop panicking.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Poppy’s in one of her playful moods today .

Nell: Yes. She’s a little skittish this morning.

Me: She wouldn’t let me write in peace.

Nell: She wants to be the centre of attention.

Me: She was the same with Dave. He was having a peaceful post pancake nap until she bit his ear.

Nell: Very provoking.

Me: He didn’t mind. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: The bear has gone to the beach, by the way.

Me: Did he take his bathers?

Nell: Yes, and a big towel.

Me: Good. The sea’s a bit chilly at this time of year.

Nell: Poppy made him some honey sandwiches and a large flask of coffee.

Me: Not tea?

Nell: He’s a German bear. They prefer coffee.

Me: I presume Knitwear Wolf took him on his motorbike?

Nell: Yes. Rupert managed to get him into the sidecar eventually with David’s help.

Me: Sidecars aren’t built for bears.

Nell: He kept falling asleep and losing his goggles.

Me: Goggles?

Nell: One needs goggles as well as a helmet when travelling on motorbikes. Do keep up.

Me: Is Rupert going swimming too?

Nell: He might do a little paddle boarding. It depends.

Me: On the weather?

Nell: No, on whether he can leave the bear alone.

Me: Yes, I don’t think he should be left alone really.

Nell: No. Although Lionel said he was going to be around.

Me: What?

Nell: He even suggested taking Herr Hoffmann over to the island for tea. Wasn’t that nice of him?

Me: Herr Hoffmann only drinks coffee.

Nell: You know what I mean.

Me: I don’t want my bear going anywhere with that lion.

Nell: Oh, it’s your bear now, is it?

Me: Yes. He’s my friend and I don’t trust Lionel and neither should you. Sorry.

Me: The stuffed tiger looks ready to pounce. If I didn’t know it was stuffed I’d be quite worried.

Nell: Never mind that. What on earth are you wearing?

Me: A track suit.

Nell: It’s Monday morning.

Me: I know.

Nell: David is shocked.

Me: I can see he is. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Imagine if he knew I had a swimming costume on underneath.

Nell: Do you?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Why?

Me: I’ve joined the gym and this morning is my first aqua aerobics class.

Nell: Excuse me?

Me: The past year has been a bit of a nightmare for me health wise so I’ve decided to try and do something about it.

Nell: Isn’t the walking enough?

Me: No.

Nell: Well, good for you.

Me: Thank you.

Nell: Does the gym accept bears?

Me: I’m not sure. Why?

Nell: Maybe it would do Herr Hoffmann good to splash about in a swimming pool. He fell asleep in his cereal this morning.

Me: I’m sure Princess wouldn’t mind him sharing her pool.

Nell: True.

Me: Or Knitwear Wolf could take him down to the sea on his motorbike?

Nell: The main beach isn’t open until 1st October.

Me: That’s just dogs. Remember? Wolves and bears are allowed.

Nell: Oh yes.

Me: And lions.

Nell: Don’t start complaining about Lionel King again. It was just an idea to do the filming on the beach.

Me: He was trying to sabotage Dave.

Nell: Well, it didn’t work. Filming has been delayed until everyone is back on the beach.

Me: What you see in that lion is beyond me.

Nell: Don’t forget to drink lots of water. It’s important to keep hydrated.

Me: You’re ignoring me again.

Nell: Shouldn’t you be going? You don’t want to be late.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: It was good to be back in the activity field again, wasn’t it?

Nell: Yes. I always enjoy a sniffari.

Me: The beauty of the field is you can take your time strolling around while the others run.

Nell: True. Now, today would have been your late mother’s birthday, wouldn’t it?

Me: Yes. She’d have been 89. I miss her so much.

Nell: She’s watching over you with Alex.

Me: I like to think so.

Nell: I know so. What did we find in the field?

Me: A little white feather.

Nell: A message from someone you love.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Your mother and Alex left it there for you because they wanted you to know they were thinking of you too.

Me: Yes.

Nell: They did. Trust me. So, we need to talk about the bear.

Me: Do we?

Nell: Yes. Sunday Songs is beginning soon and he’s gone back to bed again.

Me: Maybe he needs a lie in.

Nell: He’s singing a German song with the Welsh Corgi Choir.

Me: Really? Which one?

Nell: ‘Trink, Trink, Bruderlein Trink‘

Me: That’s a German beer drinking song. It’s not really suitable at all.

Nell: Well, David is playing the accordion and the llamas are wearing Lederhosen so we’re not changing it now.

Me: You’ll be telling me the Welsh Corgi Choir are in traditional German dresses next.

Nell: Are you talking about Dirndls?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Of course they are.

Me: I didn’t know Dave played the accordion.

Nell: He doesn’t, but he’s going to give it a try.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Well, don’t just stand there. We need to get Herr Hoffmann out of bed and into the field.

Me: How?

Nell: Wave a sausage under his nose. That always works with David.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Dave has the dearest ears of any animal I know.

Nell: Never mind that.

Me: When he was tiny they used to trail in the water bowl.

Nell: David was never tiny.

Me: Absolutely adorable. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: If you’ve quite finished I have something to discuss.

Me: Although he is looking a little worried. Did he eat Herr Hoffmann’s boiled egg again by mistake?

Nell: Only one of them and it’s bacon sandwiches for elevenses today because it’s the weekend so no one is going to starve.

Me: Good.

Nell: I want to talk about Herr Hoffmann.

Me: Don’t be jealous, Nell. He’s just a friend and he’s such a gentlemanly sort of bear.

Nell: So everyone keeps telling me. He and Rupert bonded over a shared love of Dickens.

Me: I knew he and Knitwear Wolf would get on well. So what’s bothering you?

Nell: He’s gone back to bed.

Me: Knitwear Wolf has a very busy life and it is Saturday.

Nell: Not Rupert. Herr Hoffmann. He’s fast asleep again and he’s only just finished his breakfast.

Me: I know you shouldn’t sleep on a full tummy but I don’t think it matters now and again.

Nell: He’s sleeping an awful lot and yawning when he’s awake.

Me: Being in another country with everyone talking a different language can be very tiring. I struggled at first when I moved to Berlin.

Nell: Rupert speaks German, so it isn’t that.

Me: Does he? I never knew.

Nell: And Herr Hoffmann understands more English than you think. He finds David very amusing.

Me: I think it’s lovely that you’re so concerned about him.

Nell: I’m concerned about my bedroom. Where am I going to go when I need some quiet?

Me: I don’t know. Sorry.

Nell: The weather yesterday was an unexpected bonus, wasn’t it?

Me: You certainly seemed to enjoy our walk by the river.

Nell: I find the grass nice and soft under paw.

Me: Harriet was in and out of the water as usual.

Nell: And David got himself wrapped around a tree trunk.

Me: I know. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Kev had to climb down to unwind the lead.

Nell: I don’t know why you and Kev shouted at me not to go into the river.

Me: It was deep and fast flowing after all the rain.

Nell: I’m glad I didn’t listen.

Me: And I’m glad you only had a brief paddle.

Nell: I know my limitations.

Me: Talking of limitations, I think all that travelling has completely exhausted Herr Hoffmann.

Nell: Why have you given him the front bedroom with the shiny red coverlet?

Me: He needed to sleep and he’s not the youngest of bears.

Nell: The front bedroom is my quiet place.

Me: I thought you wouldn’t mind. He really was very tired. He fell asleep in his cottage pie.

Nell: He seemed in good spirits at breakfast. Sharing boiled eggs and soldiers with David.

Me: I know it was sweet the way Dave bit the top off his egg for him, wasn’t it?

Nell: I’m not sure David should have eaten it.

Me: It’s an easy mistake to make. Herr Hoffmann found it funny.

Nell: And who dips their paws in the honey?

Me: He’s a bear. You don’t even like honey. You’re a marmalade sort of animal.

Nell: I thought bears liked marmalade.

Me: Only Paddington and his family.

Nell: We’re not expecting more of them, are we?

Me: No. Paddington lives in London with the Browns.

Nell: Why mention him then?

Me: Sorry.

Nell: So, when were you going to tell me?

Me: Tell you what?

Nell: There’s an elderly bear sitting on a large suitcase in the kitchen.

Me: An elderly bear? Is he wearing a fetching hat?

Nell: Yes, and spectacles. He’s brought us a bag of freshly baked bread rolls.

Me: Oh, that’s so sweet of him.

Nell: We think he’s asking for a Berlin Breakfast but nobody speaks German except you.

Me: It has to be Herr Hoffmann. He’s finally arrived.

Nell: I didn’t even know he was coming.

Me: Neither did I. I knew he was spending a few days in Paris and he said he might hop on the Eurostar.

Nell: Bears don’t hop. Especially elderly ones.

Me: But he wasn’t specific. I expect he wanted to surprise me. Bless him.

Nell: I knew you were going to bring that bear back from Berlin.

Me: You’re going to love him, Nell. Trust me.

Nell: Well, you’d better get into the kitchen before chaos ensues.

Me: Why?

Nell: He’s asking for sausages and you know Poppy doesn’t do sausages on Thursdays.

Me: He’ll be talking about cold sausages, like salami.

Nell: For breakfast?

Me: It’s a German thing. He’ll be happy with some boiled eggs and a slice of ham and some cheese.

Nell: We might as well make a picnic.

Me: Now, that’s an idea. Although, the weather’s a bit iffy and he might be tired.

Nell: Iffy?

Me: Unreliable.

Nell: Maybe you should stop talking to me and go and welcome your friend.

Me: You’re right. He’ll be feeling rather lost.

Nell: He didn’t seem lost. He was chatting away to David when I came to get you.

Me: I didn’t know Dave spoke German.

Nell: He doesn’t. But he’s an excellent listener.

Me: Yes. Sorry.