Me: Is Dave playing Cowardy Custard with Naughty Nigel?
Nell: He’s trying to, but Nigel’s not in the mood.
Me: Of course he isn’t after yesterday’s incident.
Nell: I don’t know what came over Nigel. Who barks at a Stuffed Tiger?
Me: You’ve never been very keen on it.
Nell: I’m not scared of it. I just think it’s a Nosey Parker. Always listening in to other animals’ conversations.
Me: Well, Nigel is scared of it and he’s a visitor in this house, so we need to be kind.
Nell: You can see its paws under that cushion, by the way. It’s obvious it’s still there. And listening.
Me: As long as Nigel feels safe that’s fine.
Nell: Boo isn’t bothered.
Me: If Kev’s nearby nothing will bother Boo. He adores him.
Nell: Kev is our person.
Me: Caring is sharing.
Nell: Have you remembered that my friend Dorothy is staying for lunch?
Me: Yes. Herr Hoffmann says there’s plenty of roast beef to go around and extra Yorkshire puddings.
Nell: At least that should lift Nigel’s spirits.
Me: Yorkshire puddings are the best.
Nell: I was talking about Dorothy. She and Nigel are an item.
Me: I hope she won’t be scared of the Stuffed Tiger.
Nell: Dorothy has met that Tiger countless times on her visits to me. It doesn’t bother her at all.
Me: I thought Nigel had met it before, too. Maybe something has changed? Maybe Nigel knows something about the Tiger that we don’t?
Nell: Maybe Nigel was just being theatrical. Your sister Charlotte was still there at the time.
Me: Yes, she was.
Nell: Some dogs like to make their people feel guilty when they go away.
Me: Well, you would definitely know all about that.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: Nothing. Sorry.
