Nell: Is that your niece Scarlett?

Me: Yes, she joined us unexpectedly for Kev’s birthday lunch.

Nell: David seems very pleased to see her.

Me: He was.

Nell: He really needs to learn to give people space.

Me: It’s not his way, Nell. He’s such an affectionate animal. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: You can’t just climb onto someone’s lap when you’re that size.

Me: Dave can.

Nell: Nigel doesn’t seem best pleased.

Me: He wasn’t. Scarlett is his special person. But Dave hadn’t seen her in such a long time it was understandable.

Nell: I have to say I’m on Nigel’s side.

Me: Both boys were a bit full on, but she didn’t mind.

Nell: Anyway, how was Kev’s birthday?

Me: He had a lovely day and really appreciated all the kind messages.

Nell: Did he like my poem?

Me: Very much.

Nell: We had a pleasant day, too. Good food and delightful conversation.

Me: It sounds like ours.

Nell: So, what’s next on the agenda?

Me: Does there have to be one?

Nell: Of course.

Me: Can’t we just wait and see?

Nell: No.

Me: I FaceTimed with Chris and Shannon in Toronto.

Nell: Good.

Me: They were at their new house and showed me around.

Nell: Lovely.

Me: They’re busy decorating.

Nell: Is there a lot to be done?

Me: Yes. They’re both working, so renovations have to be done in stages. The actual move will be in a few weeks.

Nell: Marvin will definitely enjoy having his own garden.

Me: Yes, he’s never had one before.

Nell: I’m happy for them.

Me: So am I.

Nell: Now, enough chit-chat. Make yourself a cup of tea and start working on the agenda for the week.

Me: Must I?

Nell: Everyone needs a plan.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Nice photos of Kev.

Me: I thought so. I really love the one of you two.

Nell: Nigel seems to feature rather a lot.

Me: He’s part of the family, Nell.

Nell: Just saying.

Me: There’s no need to be jealous. Nobody will ever replace you.

Nell: I should hope not.

Me: You will always have a special place on our hearts.

Nell: Yes, well it’s not about me. It’s about Kev today.

Me: I know.

Nell: Is everything organised?

Me: Yes. Birthday breakfast with present opening followed by a celebratory Sunday Songs and Sunday lunch at the pub.

Nell: Is everyone wearing a hat?

Me: It’s a bit early for that, Nell.

Nell: It’s never too early for hats. Poppy’s been wearing a pirate hat since first thing this morning.

Me: Darling Poppy.

Nell: I’ve written a poem for Kev.

Me: Wonderful.

Nell: Would you like to hear it?

Me: Very much.

Nell: ‘It’s Kev’s birthday

So what can I say,

Except that I wish

I was with you today.

There’d better be candles.

There has to be cake.

Even if it’s cheese

Which I think’s a mistake.

Make sure to wear hats.

And sing lots of songs.

And remember today

Kev can do no wrong.

So many memories

Of birthdays gone by.

It’s like it all happened

In the blink of an eye.

We love Kev so much.

We love him still. 

And I hope that he knows

We always will.’

Me: I feel a little teary now.

Nell: Stop that at once. Birthdays are for smiles and laughter.

Me: They can be a little sad. Especially when you’re older.

Nell: Older? Kev’s only 67. He’s got years ahead of him.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: Put on your hat and let the celebrations begin.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: I see Harriet enjoyed her cuddles with Kev on the sofa.

Me: She absolutely loved it.

Nell: What did David think about that?

Me: Dave was very jealous, although Nigel was even worse. He follows Kev around everywhere.

Nell: I remember.

Me: They went to the pub together again yesterday evening for a birthday weekend pint.

Nell: And a packet of crisps?

Me: Always. It’s locals night on a Friday so they were able to catch up with friends.

Nell: Good.

Me: We had quite a vegetable day yesterday.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: Colin from over the road left a large marrow and two beetroots outside the front door and Yannick gave Kev and Nigel two cucumbers on their way home.

Nell: A cucumber is a fruit not a vegetable. It grows from a flower and has seeds.

Me: Then a marrow must be a fruit.

Nell: Correct.

Me: So we had more of a fruit than a vegetable day?

Nell: You did.

Me: Well, it was very kind. Homegrown fruit and vegetables are a real treat.

Nell: I agree. I’m very thankful for Mutley’s allotment.

Me: Mutley has an allotment?

Nell: Yes, he spends a lot of time there with the Gardening Guardians.

Me: You have Gardening Guardians?

Nell: We have everything.

Me: I really love that idea.

Nell: So does Poppy. You know how fussy she is about the quality of produce.

Me: Only the best.

Nell: Quite. So, how are the preparations for Kev’s birthday tomorrow coming along?

Me: Harriet kept him busy while I packed his presents and Herr Hoffmann made his cheesecake.

Nell: Good.

Me: Nigel took him to the pub.

Nell: And David?

Me: Dave was simply a Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: He did nothing.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Is that my tree?

Me: Yes, it’s the one near where we’d like a bench.

Nell: I’m glad it’s there providing shade and protection from the heat.

Me: I think the cows are finding it all a bit much.

Nell: Did Dave and Harriet get two walks?

Me: Yes. Both in the evening. It was really hot from quite early on yesterday.

Nell: Don’t worry. The Weather Guardians assure me the temperature’s definitely going down this weekend.

Me: We solved the problem of cooking a roast on Kev’s birthday, by the way.

Nell: Don’t tell me you’re giving him a salad.

Me: No, we’re going to have Sunday roast in the pub garden.

Nell: All of you?

Me: Well, no.

Nell: So, just you and Kev?

Me: And maybe Charlotte?

Nell: What about David, Harriet and Nigel?

Me: They’ll have bacon sandwiches for breakfast.

Nell: Bacon is not roast beef.

Me: I’m probably going to choose turkey.

Nell: That’s not the point.

Me: We can’t take them with us, Nell. It’s too hot in the middle of the day.

Nell: There had better be cake.

Me: Will cheesecake do?

Nell: Cheesecake?

Me: New York cheesecake is Kev’s favourite so that’s what Herr Hoffmann is making for his birthday.

Nell: Poppy is making us a lemon drizzle cake.

Me: I love her lemon drizzle.

Nell: And fresh scones with homemade strawberry jam and clotted cream.

Me: I love her scones.

Nell: And a selection of finger sandwiches, crusts off.

Me: I love Poppy’s afternoon tea.

Nell: So do we, which is why we’re having it.

Me: Today?

Nell: Why not?

Me: Today isn’t Kev’s birthday.

Nell: No. But it’s the start of Kev‘s birthday weekend. Do keep up.

Me: I see.

Nell: Let the celebrations begin.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

Nell: That’s Marvin in Toronto.

Me: Yes, it is.

Nell: But I don’t recognise that house.

Me: You wouldn’t. It’s Chris and Shannon’s new home. They bought it.

Nell: They bought a house?

Me: They did. Isn’t that wonderful?

Nell: I’m so happy for them.

Me: So am I. First citizenship and now a house.

Nell: And it’s almost exactly a year ago they were married.

Me: It is.

Nell: This is very good news.

Me: Chris said Marvin wasn’t too sure at first but he will get used to it and he finally has his own garden.

Nell: As long as Chris and Shannon are there Marvin will be fine.

Me: It’s all about family, isn’t it?

Nell: Talking of family, it’s Kev’s birthday on Sunday.

Me: I know.

Nell: Have you organised a party?

Me: I’m not sure he wants one. He said a drink at the pub will do.

Nell: Of course he wants one. Kev loves a party.

Me: I suppose we could have a celebratory Sunday roast, if Herr Hoffmann is up to cooking in this hot weather.

Nell: The Weather Guardians say the temperature is going down at the weekend.

Me: Thank goodness for that.

Nell: Did you see the eclipse?

Me: Not directly. We were in the garden and everything went darker and the temperature dropped and the birds stopped singing which was quite eerie.

Nell: Why didn’t you use a colander?

Me: I’m not very good at that sort of thing. We followed it on the news, too. It looked truly amazing.

Nell: The universe is amazing.

Me: It put everything into perspective and made me realise how small and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of things.

Nell: You will never be small and insignificant to me.

Me: No. Sorry.

Nell: Is that our garden?

Me: It is. There’s virtually no grass left now. Just dry dusty earth.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: Dave and Harriet like sitting outside in the early morning and evening but they come in covered in straw.

Nell: It’s truly shocking.

Me: It is. I miss the green grass.

Nell: Why are those wretched Beefies laughing?

Me: One of them was about to fly down and try and steal our chips.

Nell: I hope you scared it away.

Me: I did. Cheeky bird.

Nell: They think they can help themselves to anything.

Me: I know. They’ve even started going into shops and taking things like packets of crisps off the shelves.

Nell: Without paying?

Me: They never pay.

Nell: Hooligans and thieves.

Me: Nothing is safe from them at this time of year.

Nell: Or at any time of year.

Me: I don’t really mind their screeching.

Nell: It’s a horrible noise.

Me: I prefer it to the sound of pigeons. They are annoying.

Nell: Kev used to insist the pigeons were saying ‘Work harder, Kevin’.

Me: He still does.

Nell: Pigeons have always been rather opinionated.

Me: Walter’s ok.

Nell: Walter is part of the family.

Me: Yes, he is.

Nell: Make sure you keep the bird bath clean and full of water.

Me: I will.

Nell: Don’t forget the insects and make sure you water the plants with your watering can.

Me: Don’t worry.

Nell: As I’ve told you many times before, it’s my job.

Me: Yes, and I thank you for it.

Nell: Don’t forget about the solar eclipse this evening.

Me: We couldn’t get any glasses.

Nell: You can use a colander.

Me: I’d still be looking at the sun.

Nell: As a makeshift pinhole projector. Do keep up.

Me: Oh. Sorry.

Me: Look at these gorgeous photos, Nell. Kev found them and sent them over to me.

Nell: I remember that beautiful sunset very well.

Me: It’s magical, isn’t it? The colours are amazing.

Nell: Is Alice wearing a baby carrier?

Me: Yes, she and I were trying to work out which baby was in there and it must be Faye as Jonathan was one when we moved down here.

Nell: I used to love the beach.

Me: Look at your darling smile.

Nell: I didn’t like the pebbles on that beach, though.

Me: No. I prefer sand, too.

Nell: They get in your paws.

Me: They do.

Nell: Fortunately, the beaches up here are sandy.

Me: What if there are Guardians who prefer a pebbly beach?

Nell: They can have one.

Me: I see.

Nell: The Weather Guardians tell me the UK is heading into its 5th heatwave.

Me: I don’t like it, Nell. Everything is so dry and parched. It doesn’t look like England at all.

Nell: No.

Me: I don’t think I ever remember seeing it like this.

Nell: It’s all very worrying. You must make sure you keep out of the sun and drink lots of water.

Me: I will. Don’t worry. And we’re having falafels and hummus for dinner with a Greek salad so we’re eating sensibly.

Nell: That sounds suspiciously vegetarian.

Me: It is.

Nell: James Beddall will be delighted.

Me: Yes, he will.

Nell: We’re having steak and chips.

Me: I’m not telling Dave that.

Nell: With mushrooms, peas and a side salad.

Me: I’m fine with my falafels, thank you.

Nell: I don’t know. What is the world coming to? Heatwaves, drought and chickpeas.

Me: I never mentioned chickpeas.

Nell: Falafels are made from chickpeas.

Me: Oh yes. Of course they are. Sorry.

Nell: Is that Tony the Postman?

Me: Kev and I bumped into him with Sue and their grandson Riley at the Vintage Show yesterday.

Nell: But who else is with them and why does he look like a smaller version of David?

Me: It’s Toby, Dave and Harriet’s nephew and your great nephew.

Nell: I have to tell Maisie that her daughter Mist’s son is fine.

Me: Your sister Maisie? Is she up there with you?

Nell: Of course she is. She was here when I arrived and so was my mother Fleur.

Me: Well, tell them Toby is doing really well. He’s a lovely boy and he looks so much like his Uncle Dave.

Nell: He seems to be getting on very well with Kev.

Me: We were absolutely delighted to see him and Tony and Sue.

Nell: How’s Tony? It must be strange delivering the post to the house without us all there.

Me: He says it is.

Nell: Happy memories.

Me: Yes. His visits were the highlight of Dave’s day.

Nell: Did you tell David you saw Tony?

Me: No. He misses him so much. We’re hoping Tony can come over to see Dave soon.

Nell: So, what’s the plan today?

Me: I’m going to my aqua class at the gym and we’re having fish for dinner.

Nell: Must you really?

Me: Fish is good for you, Nell.

Nell: The family resemblance is truly striking, isn’t it?

Me: Are we talking about Toby again?

Nell: I think I shall invite my mother and sister to tea.

Me: Could you also invite mine?

Nell: That’s something only you can do when the time comes.

Me: I see.

Nell: What a reunion that will be.

Me: Will you be there?

Nell: Where else would I be?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Is that a deer?

Me: Yes. Dave and Harriet met it on their evening walk.

Nell: Are they playing Cowardy Custard?

Me: The game Dave plays with Walter Pigeon where you lose if you’re the first one to look away?

Nell: I know what the game is.

Me: I don’t know. Maybe.

Nell: It looks like nobody wants to give in.

Me: Dave’s a surprisingly good player.

Nell: It’s all the years of playing with Walter.

Me: Someone must have looked away or they would still be there now and they definitely aren’t because Harriet’s up here with me and Dave’s downstairs waiting for bacon.

Nell: Of course he’s waiting for bacon. It’s Sunday. How was the Village Show?

Me: There were some beautiful tomatoes and a really long runner bean.

Nell: Good to hear.

Me: And our next door neighbour won third prize for her cherry cake.

Nell: Sophie’s mother?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Have you heard from Alice?

Me: Yes. Jonathan and his father are busy getting ready for their camping trip to Denmark tomorrow.

Nell: How exciting for them.

Me: And Chris has become a Canadian citizen. He received his citizenship certificate yesterday.

Nell: What an international family.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Are you still going to the Vintage Show today?

Me: Yes. Kev and I love seeing all the tractors.

Nell: You’ve got tractors driving past your house all the time.

Me: It’s different.

Nell: I hope you’re not missing Sunday Songs.

Me: No we’re singing first.

Nell: Good.

Me: But there won’t be a Sunday roast today. Just a salad in the evening.

Nell: Unbelievable.

Me: We’re going to grab a burger at the show.

Nell: And what about everybody else?

Me: Herr Hoffmann is making them some delicious sandwiches.

Nell: For Sunday lunch?

Me: Sorry.

Nell: It looks like it was a difficult goodbye for David and Faye.

Me: Yes, it was.

Nell: How are you?

Me: Not too wonderful, Nell, but I’ll be fine once I’m back in my usual routine.

Nell: You will. Did you track their flight?

Me: Of course. They didn’t land in Berlin until 10.30pm so it was a long day for them all.

Nell: But now they’re back home with Andre.

Me: They are.

Nell: Which is where they should be.

Me: It is.

Nell: Even though you wish they were still here.

Me: So much.

Nell: I think a quiet weekend might be a good idea.

Me: Actually, there’s the village show this afternoon and the big Vintage show tomorrow.

Nell: The one with all the tractors?

Me: Exactly.

Nell: You’ll enjoy that.

Me: We will.

Nell: Make sure you wear a hat. The Weather Guardians are predicting a rise in temperatures.

Me: What about you? Do you have any plans for this weekend?

Nell: Poppy’s roast on Sunday, obviously, but today is going to be a quiet one. A little light reading in the garden. Yes, we have gardens up here.

Me: I didn’t ask.

Nell: No, but you wanted to.

Me: I like to think of you reading in the garden. Is it green and flowery?

Nell: Of course.

Me: We’ve got a hosepipe ban so everything is very dry here.

Nell: A hosepipe ban after all those months of rain?

Me: I know. We’re all rather annoyed about it.

Nell: Understandably. How about we both go and make a nice cup of Earl Grey and then carry on chatting for a little longer today?

Me: I would love that, Nell. Thank you.

Nell: No need for thanks. You and me. Always. Remember?

Me: Yes. Sorry.