Me: Can you see Harriet?
Nell: No, I can only see the path and Nigel.
Me: Look harder.
Nell: Hold on, I’ll get my reading glasses.
Me: I thought you didn’t need them anymore.
Nell: I do, sometimes.
Me: Can you see Harriet now?
Nell: Is that her hiding behind some foliage?
Me: Yes. She’s clearly spying on someone.
Nell: On Nigel?
Me: Maybe.
Nell: But Nigel isn’t doing anything.
Me: He didn’t want to walk home. He sat down and refused to move.
Nell: That’s not worthy of being spied upon.
Me: I agree.
Nell: Who else was there?
Me: Dave, Kev and Charlotte.
Nell: And you.
Me: Do you think she was spying on me?
Nell: What were you doing?
Me: Taking photos.
Nell: Highly suspicious.
Me: No, it isn’t, Nell. I always take photos to share with everyone.
Nell: Exactly.
Me: There’s nothing wrong with that.
Nell: If you say so.
Me: Maybe Harriet thinks I’m a spy?
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: Maybe she thinks I’m in league with the Italians?
Nell: Rubbish. Harriet thinks nothing of the sort. I was just pulling your tail.
Me: I don’t have a tail.
Nell: I was teasing you. Harriet was probably just playing hide and seek with the boys.
Me: Oh yes. You’re right.
Nell: Nobody could ever think you were an Italian spy.
Me: Which would make the perfect cover.
Nell: Excuse me?
Me: Nobody would suspect me.
Nell: Stop all this nonsense right now. You’re not a spy and you never will be.
Me: You don’t know that.
Nell: I most certainly do.
Me: The Italian rook might approach me at the Bus Stop with a Tupperware of spaghetti bolognese and ask me to join his gang.
Nell: Have you quite finished?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
