Nell: Are the Puppies playing Cheeky Animals?

Me: Yes. Harriet is getting a little carried away.

Nell: David seems as calm as a cucumber.

Me: True. He’s playing a clever game.

Nell: Cheeky Animals is all about subtlety. You’re supposed to stick your tongue out quickly without your opponent noticing. If they do they call out ‘Cheeky Animal’ and win.

Me: Harriet has a very long tongue.

Nell: Harriet is waving her tongue in David’s face. He can’t help but notice.

Me: Yes. Dave is definitely going to win this game.

Nell: It certainly looks like it.

Me: How was tea with Oscar yesterday? Did he put jam on his scone first?

Nell: Yes. Fortunately Charlie was able to whisper in his ear when Poppy went out to get the sandwiches.

Me: You had sandwiches, too?

Nell: Yes, a selection of finger sandwiches with crusts off, of course.

Me: I miss Poppy’s afternoon teas.

Nell: They are exceptionally good.

Me: Was the cream clotted?

Nell: Yes, fresh from the dairy.

Me: It can’t have been, Nell.

Nell: Are you trying to tell me cows can’t be Guardians?

Me: No, I suppose they can.

Nell: Where there’s a cow there’s cream.

Me: True.

Nell: And milk and butter.

Me: I know that. Thank you.

Nell: And before you ask, yes chickens can be Guardians and yes we have eggs.

Me: I presume you had cake for tea, too.

Nell: Of course. Lemon drizzle.

Me: I wonder if Herr Hoffmann would make afternoon tea for us all?

Nell: It probably depends on whether he’s cooking a complicated dinner.

Me: I think it’s fish cakes.

Nell: Fish cakes can be complicated.

Me: No afternoon tea for me then.

Nell: You can still ask. If you don’t ask you don’t get.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: I see David’s wearing his favourite toy over his head again.

Me: Jane, Ann and Lisa came to clean the house and he likes to make them laugh.

Nell: I remember. They call it his halo.

Me: Fortunately they love dogs because there’s an awful lot of dog hair.

Nell: Nothing to be done. Harriet seems serious?

Me: Dave stole one of the cleaning cloths after she told him not to.

Nell: Naughty animal.

Me: He just loves showing off. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: He shouldn’t steal.

Me: They didn’t mind.

Nell: Harriet’s his older sister. He should listen to her

Me: Only by a few minutes.

Nell: Since my departure she’s been trying to maintain standards.

Me: I’ve noticed her doing quite a few things you used to do.

Nell: Good for her.

Me: She walks me down the stairs.

Nell: Caring girl.

Me: She always eats her vegetables and salad and she’s started grumbling.

Nell: I don’t grumble.

Me: You most definitely do, Nell. You’re famous for grumbling.

Nell: I simply like to make my opinions and feelings clear. Everyone should be heard.

Me: Even Oscar, The Great Barberino? Is he still serenading you, by the way?

Nell: I’m glad to say he’s moved on but sad to say not very far.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: I think he’s developed a bit of a crush on Poppy.

Me: Brave animal.

Nell: And worryingly enough Poppy seems to like it.

Me: Really?

Nell: She’s wearing a feathered hat and high boots today which is always a sign.

Me: A sign of what?

Nell: High Spirits. She’s invited Oscar to tea and is baking her scones.

Me: Lucky Oscar.

Nell: You’d better hope he puts the jam on before the cream.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

Me: The countryside is looking so beautiful at the moment. Look at the colour of that field.

Nell: Are David and Harriet searching for something?

Me: I don’t know.

Nell: I’m not sure David should be climbing up the bank.

Me: I wasn’t sure about it either.

Nell: Why didn’t you tell him to come down?

Me: He was enjoying himself.

Nell: David’s always been an explorer.

Me: Yes, it’s one of the reasons why he has to stay on the lead.

Nell: And he doesn’t listen.

Me: No, he doesn’t. Darling naughty Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Can you be a darling and naughty at the same time?

Me: Dave can. Do you know he’s been trying to dig a hole in our garden to get under the fence?

Nell: Wishful thinking. David’s never going to get under a fence.

Me: That’s what I said but it’s still naughty.

Nell: Dogs like to dig. Harriet loves to dig in the sand.

Me: You were never much of a digger.

Nell: I go my own way.

Me: You couldn’t be bothered.

Nell: That too.

Me: I had a moment in the kitchen the other day.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: I was standing at the sink and I thought I saw you out of the corner of my eye.

Nell: Maybe you did.

Me: I didn’t, Nell. I just wanted to.

Nell: People often see us Guardians. Just a glimpse.

Me: But you’re not really there.

Nell: We are. We’re always there in your mind and heart.

Me: I know.

Nell: And sometimes this feeling is so strong that for a moment you can actually see us.

Me: So you were there by my side?

Nell: I’m always by your side. You know I am.

Me: I do. Sorry.

Me: Isn’t Bluebell Wood looking beautiful, Nell?

Nell: It is, although the bluebells won’t be there for much longer.

Me: All the more reason to enjoy them while we can.

Nell: True.

Me: If I’ve learnt anything over the past few months it’s that time is precious and we should make the most of it.

Nell: You’re philosophical for a Monday morning.

Me: Walking in places like Bluebell Wood makes you think.

Nell: I see.

Me: And one of the good things about growing older is it heightens your appreciation for the beauty around you.

Nell: It also makes you less tolerant.

Me: Have you become more easy-going now you’re a Guardian?

Nell: Certainly not. Do you know who serenaded me at a ridiculous hour?

Me: Charlie?

Nell: He was asleep.

Me: Who?

Nell: The Great Barberino.

Me: Wonderful. I’m so glad Oscar found you.

Nell: I do not need to be woken by a terrier serenading me.

Me: The Great Barberino is famous for his beautiful voice.

Nell: Well, maybe he can save it until later in the day.

Me: I’d love a serenade from The Great Barberino.

Nell: Poppy would not agree.

Me: Was she dreadfully annoyed?

Nell: Extremely. She drew her sword on him.

Me: Was Oscar dreadfully frightened?

Nell: No. He bowed his head and called her ‘A Magnificent Animal’.

Me: Did that make Poppy even more annoyed?

Nell: Funnily enough, it didn’t. In fact I think I saw her smile.

Me: Really?

Nell: Yes, and now she’s busy making pancakes with crispy bacon and maple syrup for breakfast.

Me: Not her usual choice.

Nell: It’s The Great Barberino’s favourite.

Me: Is he staying for breakfast?

Nell: Of course he is. You can’t sing your heart out like that and not be fed.

Me: No. Sorry.

Nell: Nigel is on your chair.

Me: I know he is.

Nell: You sit there with David.

Me: Yes, and sometimes with Nigel when he’s visiting.

Nell: He’s certainly made himself very comfortable.

Me: He was waiting for his spaghetti bolognese.

Nell: Is Nigel a member of The Spaghetti Bolognese Club?

Me: Of course he is, but yesterday everyone was included.

Nell: I hope no garlic was involved, wild or otherwise.

Me: Only garlic bread for those who could eat it safely.

Nell: You mean you, Charlotte and Kev.

Me: I do. Although, I read that squirrels eat wild garlic.

Nell: You didn’t invite a squirrel to dinner, did you?

Me: Of course not. I don’t know any.

Nell: That’s not the point.

Me: You’re right. Don’t worry, no squirrels or rodents were invited to dinner yesterday.

Nell: Was Rupert there?

Me: Yes, with Myfanwy.

Nell: Oh, I see.

Me: I think they’re singing a duet at Sunday Songs.

Nell: Good for them.

Me: It is good to see Rupert looking a little happier. I’ve been worried about him.

Nell: So have I.

Me: Are you having Sunday Songs today, too?

Nell; Poppy is busy cooking the roast but Mutley suggested we sing a few songs around the piano.

Me: Sounds lovely.

Nell: Is Nigel staying for Sunday roast?

Me: No, unfortunately he and Charlotte have to go home after Sunday Songs.

Nell: Perhaps Herr Hoffmann could save them some leftovers and Rupert could take it over to them later?

Me: That’s a very good idea, Nell.

Nell: It seems sad for them both to miss out.

Me: You care about Nigel really, don’t you?

Nell: Nigel is family.

Me: Maybe Herr Hoffmann can find some treats for Xav the Cat, too?

Nell: I didn’t mention cats.

Me: No. Sorry.

Nell: Who is that in your handbag?

Me: It’s Jeremy.

Nell: Jeremy?

Me: He was supposed to be called Julian after Julian Nightbear but I kept calling him Jeremy so it’s obviously his name.

Nell: Julian Nightbear? Who is he?

Me: My first teddy bear. I used to take him everywhere until he fell apart.

Nell: May I ask why Jeremy is in your handbag?

Me: Kev gave him to me to remind me that I’m loved.

Nell: I see.

Me: Every time I reach into my handbag I come across Jeremy’s soft fur and I smile.

Nell: That’s actually rather romantic and lovely.

Me: Well, it was until Dave stole him.

Nell: David stole Jeremy?

Me: Yes. I was showering and David sneaked into my room and took Jeremy out of my handbag.

Nell: Could it have been a mistake?

Me: Definitely not. Fortunately I came out of the bathroom and caught Dave before he could do any damage.

Nell: Damage?

Me: He had Jeremy in his mouth.

Nell: Was he apologetic?

Me: Not really. I think he sees Jeremy as a threat which is silly because there can only ever be one Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: He’s a stuffed bear.

Me: You don’t like the Stuffed Tiger and Nigel hates it.

Nell: That’s completely different. The Stuffed Tiger is a sly eavesdropper and not to be trusted.

Me: It’s still stuffed.

Nell: Moving on, how was pizza night?

Me: Lovely, but quiet.

Nell: Quiet?

Me: Nigel wasn’t there but he’s coming for Spaghetti Bolognese tonight.

Nell: Nigel isn’t noisy.

Me: He is when he sees the Stuffed Tiger.

Nell: Justified Barking doesn’t count.

Me: I think you’ll find it does, Nell.

Nell: Not when it comes to that tiger.

Me: We’ll have to agree to disagree. Sorry.

Me: There’s nothing lovelier than a happy Chocolate Labrador enjoying the sunshine and smelling of garlic.

Nell: Did you say smelling of garlic?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Garlic is toxic to dogs.

Me: I know.

Nell: Has that Italian seagull started putting garlic in his spaghetti bolognese?

Me: Calm down a minute.

Nell: I knew things would get out of paw if I wasn’t there to keep an eye on you all.

Me: I’m talking about wild garlic.

Nell: Wild garlic?

Me: Yes. The kind that grows on the river bank and is almost everywhere at the moment.

Nell: Oh, I see.

Me: When Harriet walks through it she comes out smelling of garlic. It’s the same every year.

Nell: Well, that’s a relief.

Me: It’s a good reminder, though. We’re having an Italian weekend so I need to make sure that no garlic is floating around.

Nell: An Italian weekend?

Me: Yes. The sun’s shining so we all thought pizza and pasta might be just the thing.

Nell: Not on a Sunday.

Me: Only Friday and Saturday. Stanley’s busy on Sunday.

Nell: Stanley Smoochy?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Why is that seagull involved?

Me: He’s going to be providing the pizza and pasta.

Nell: Be very careful.

Me: We will. Talking of seagulls, while I was waiting at the doctor’s there was a Beefy with a hoarse voice croaking away outside.

Nell: It probably had a sore throat.

Me: Normally they’re all shouting, but this one wasn’t.

Nell: It should have been inside not outside.

Me: They don’t let seagulls inside.

Nell: It was obviously there to see a doctor.

Me: Do you think so?

Nell: Yes.

Me: I thought the Beefies were just there to annoy us.

Nell: Two things can be true at the same time.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Happy St. George’s Day.

Me: Thank you and the same to you.

Nell: Is David playing the dragon?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Who’s playing St.George?

Me: Gladys the Pomeranian.

Nell: Gladys can’t be St. George. She’s far too small and fluffy and she wears a bow in her hair.

Me: Not today. We found Poppy’s suit of armour in The Cat’s dressing-up box.

Nell: Isn’t it too big?

Me: Poppy isn’t as big as she thinks she is.

Nell: Charlie’s agreed to be the dragon.

Me: Good for him.

Nell: Mutley’s written some music and will play it while they fight.

Me: I hope nobody gets hurt.

Nell: Fortunately Guardians can’t be hurt or Charlie would never have agreed.

Me: Our dragon fight is going to begin when I get back from the dentist.

Nell: I’m glad they’re waiting for you.

Me: The Welsh Corgi Choir are going to ride in on the llamas and form a ring around David and Gladys.

Nell: Ride in on the llamas?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Where is this taking place?

Me: At the Recreation Ground.

Nell: You wouldn’t catch me riding a llama.

Me: Same here but The Welsh Corgi Choir are fearless like Poppy.

Nell: Will there be any music?

Me: Yes. The Whippets Institute Big Band will be performing. Dave wants to sing ‘My Way’.

Nell: Dragons don’t sing.

Me: I think he’s tap dancing, too.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: I’ve told them it all needs to be done and dusted by late afternoon as I’m going for my Covid vaccination.

Nell: You’re going to have quite a day.

Me: I’m not looking forward to some of it.

Nell: I know you don’t like dentists or injections but it’s for your own good and I’ll be watching over you.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Is that Marvin in Toronto?

Me: Yes. He likes looking out of the window.

Nell: He’s probably looking for raccoons.

Me: You look for squirrels and he looks for raccoons.

Nell: Nonsense. I never bothered with squirrels and I certainly don’t now.

Me: You didn’t like horses, or bicycles.

Nell: I don’t suppose Marvin does either.

Me: I’m not sure if there are many horses in Toronto but there are lots of bicycles.

Nell: Being up here is a little like looking out of a window.

Me: Is it?

Nell: Yes. You can see things, but from a distance.

Me: Do you still need your reading glasses?

Nell: No, but I keep a pair in my handbag just in case.

Me: Do you remember when Gladys the Pomeranian used to sleep in your handbag?

Nell: Yes, and David would steal it.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Naughty animal.

Me: I love the way Marvin has one cheeky ear.

Nell: It’s not cheeky. It just does its own thing. Poppy is the same.

Me: Poppy’s always done her own thing. How is she?

Nell: She’s gone fencing with Charlie.

Me: Sword fighting or actual fencing?

Nell: Swords, of course. It’s St. George’s Day on Thursday so she wants to practise fighting the dragon.

Me: But Dave won’t be able to be her dragon.

Nell: She’s going to use a Heffalump instead.

Me: Isn’t that a little dangerous?

Nell: Poppy knows no fear.

Me: Nevertheless.

Nell: Will you be celebrating?

Me: I don’t think so. I have the dentist in the morning and my Covid vaccination in the afternoon.

Nell: You can still celebrate.

Me: Maybe.

Nell: I think you should. David loves playing the dragon and I’m sure someone will play St. George.

Me: Yes. You’re right. Sorry.

Me: Harriet is doing that Can I Come In Please?

Nell: Come in where?

Me: She’s outside the bedroom. She wants to come in and snuggle with Dave but she won’t walk through the door until I tell her she can.

Nell: Why do you have to tell her?

Me: I’ve no idea.

Nell: That’s ridiculous.

Me: She does this sometimes.

Nell: Harriet has a habit of sitting in the second row.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: She doesn’t like to appear pushy so she puts herself last.

Me: Dave doesn’t really do that.

Nell: David never does that.

Me: Neither do you.

Nell: If you don’t look after yourself how can you look after others?

Me: True.

Nell: A certain amount of selfishness is necessary.

Me: Anyway, I told her she could come in and she quickly snuggled up to Dave.

Nell: Did he notice?

Me: Not really. He was having a post-breakfast nap.

Nell: Soft-boiled eggs?

Me: Yes, from the farm with hot-buttered toast and a large cup of tea.

Nell: Perfect. I had scrambled eggs this morning with a side of smoked salmon.

Me: Very fancy.

Nell: I thought about The Cat. How is it coping without me?

Me: A lot better than it was.

Nell: Was it very sad?

Me: Sad? Complete and utter devastation. Weeping and wailing.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: It’s only just out of mourning.

Nell: Out of mourning?

Me: It refused to wear anything but black.

Nell: That’s not like The Cat.

Me: There were feathers and high-heeled boots.

Nell: Well, that’s a relief.

Me: But to answer your question the mourning period appears to be over as I saw it yesterday in a sequinned coat.

Nell: Good. It’s nice to be mourned but not excessively. Take note.

Me: Yes. Sorry.