Nell: Who is that in your handbag?
Me: It’s Jeremy.
Nell: Jeremy?
Me: He was supposed to be called Julian after Julian Nightbear but I kept calling him Jeremy so it’s obviously his name.
Nell: Julian Nightbear? Who is he?
Me: My first teddy bear. I used to take him everywhere until he fell apart.
Nell: May I ask why Jeremy is in your handbag?
Me: Kev gave him to me to remind me that I’m loved.
Nell: I see.
Me: Every time I reach into my handbag I come across Jeremy’s soft fur and I smile.
Nell: That’s actually rather romantic and lovely.
Me: Well, it was until Dave stole him.
Nell: David stole Jeremy?
Me: Yes. I was showering and David sneaked into my room and took Jeremy out of my handbag.
Nell: Could it have been a mistake?
Me: Definitely not. Fortunately I came out of the bathroom and caught Dave before he could do any damage.
Nell: Damage?
Me: He had Jeremy in his mouth.
Nell: Was he apologetic?
Me: Not really. I think he sees Jeremy as a threat which is silly because there can only ever be one Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: He’s a stuffed bear.
Me: You don’t like the Stuffed Tiger and Nigel hates it.
Nell: That’s completely different. The Stuffed Tiger is a sly eavesdropper and not to be trusted.
Me: It’s still stuffed.
Nell: Moving on, how was pizza night?
Me: Lovely, but quiet.
Nell: Quiet?
Me: Nigel wasn’t there but he’s coming for Spaghetti Bolognese tonight.
Nell: Nigel isn’t noisy.
Me: He is when he sees the Stuffed Tiger.
Nell: Justified Barking doesn’t count.
Me: I think you’ll find it does, Nell.
Nell: Not when it comes to that tiger.
Me: We’ll have to agree to disagree. Sorry.
