Nell: Are you ready for the family’s arrival?
Me: More or less.
Nell: Good. I need to talk to you about Nigel.
Me: Why?
Nell: David is being Left Out.
Me: When Nigel is visiting us he’s Kev’s shadow. He follows him around everywhere.
Nell: But David is Kev’s Best Boy.
Me: He knows that. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: Does he really? Look at his face.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: Quite. You need to do something about it.
Me: Nigel isn’t doing any harm, Nell.
Nell: Kev has to be shared. Nigel can’t monopolise him like that.
Me: No, you’re right.
Nell: Alice and the grandchildren are arriving tomorrow. They’re going to want to spend time with their grandfather.
Me: They are.
Nell: Without Nigel.
Me: I’m not sure completely excluding Nigel is the right thing to do.
Nell: It’s the only way.
Me: I think we can find a compromise.
Nell: Either way you need to explain to David that he is still Best Boy.
Me: What if Chris and Jonathan Sky feel excluded? Surely they’re Kev’s Best Boys?
Nell: Chris isn’t even visiting.
Me: At least Harriet knows she’s his Best Girl.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: Apart from Alice and Faye, of course.
Nell: There is only one Best Girl for Kev.
Me: That’s kind of you but I’m not sure I qualify as a girl any longer.
Nell: I was talking about me. Kev and I had a very special bond.
Me: You did. You do.
Nell: I will always be his Best Girl.
Me: I’m not sure Poppy would agree.
Nell: Fine. Maybe there can be more than one.
Me: But then it’s not really Best, is it?
Nell: I need a cup of Earl Grey and a lie down.
Me: Sorry.
