Nell: How’s the search for Henry and Horst going?

Me: Dave and Harriet saw some cows in a field and Dave climbed a really high hill.

Nell: A really high hill?

Me: Well, it was quite high.

Nell: Henry and Horst are woodlice. How are they supposed to get up there?

Me: How do they get anywhere?

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: They’re usually on somebody’s hat.

Nell: That’s it!

Me: Is it?

Nell: Yes. You need to look out for unusual hats.

Me: Unusual hats?

Nell: Yes. Or people wearing hats who wouldn’t normally be wearing hats.

Me: Right?

Nell: Or people wearing hats in an uncomfortable way.

Me: Like back to front?

Nell: No.

Me: Inside out?

Nell: Don’t be silly. In an awkward, secretive way.

Me: Does it have to be people?

Nell: No. Animals are more likely.

Me: Your friend Dorothy was wearing a really flamboyant feathered hat rather awkwardly the other day.

Nell: It isn’t Dorothy.

Me: You don’t know that. Henry and Horst might have asked her for a lift?

Nell: Have you put up Missing posters in the village?

Me: Not yet. We don’t have a recent photo.

Nell: Recent photo?

Me: Yes.

Nell: How much do you think woodlice change?

Me: Everyone changes, Nell. We all get a little greyer.

Nell: Woodlice are grey.

Me: Oh yes.

Nell: It’s far more important that people know they are missing.

Me: True. Would a wig count?

Nell: A wig?

Me: There’s a Jack Russell Terrier in the village with a rather ill-fitting toupee.

Nell: How long has it been wearing it?

Me: Quite a while.

Nell: Unlikely.

Me: So Romeo isn’t under suspicion. He’s been wearing a wig for years.

Nell: Romeo is a Beefy. Seagulls are all under suspicion.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: David looks worried.

Me: That’s because he is.

Nell: Is it about Henry and Horst? Have they gone missing?

Me: We’re not sure.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Woodlice are very small bugs, Nell.

Nell: Don’t call them bugs.

Me: They’re called pillbugs in North America, or sowbugs or roly-polies.

Nell: Their names are Henry and Horst.

Me: Try not to worry. Harriet will find them.

Nell: I knew someone had gone missing. It’s my Guardian Instinct.

Me: What’s a Guardian Instinct?

Nell: Never you mind.

Me: Maybe they’ve gone on holiday? Didn’t someone say they had relatives in Barnstaple?

Nell: Henry and Horst are woodlice. They have relatives everywhere.

Me: True.

Nell: They wouldn’t go away without leaving a note.

Me: I’m not sure they can write.

Nell: A Voice Note.

Me: Nobody can hear them.

Nell: David can. He has keen ears. When were they last seen?

Me: A couple of days ago at Morning Thoughts.

Nell: Are you telling me Henry and Horst have missed several Morning Thoughts and nobody thought to find out why?

Me: A lot of us miss Morning Thoughts, Nell. Especially now you’re not here.

Nell: Poppy’s not going to like this.

Me: Poppy never cared about Morning Thoughts. She was usually far too busy in the kitchen.

Nell: Poppy cares about Henry and Horst.

Me: We all do.

Nell: Harriet needs to organise a search party.

Me: I think she’s doing that right now.

Nell: Has Owl Pacino been informed? Birds are probably our best bet at finding them.

Me: Yes, the Royal Owl Force are standing by.

Nell: And Count Bingo Flamingo?

Me: I saw a flamboyance of flamingos this morning but they might have been visiting Malcolm.

Nell: This is not the time for visiting.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Look at those two. Always together. Bless them.

Nell: Has Harriet lost something?

Me: I think she was just enjoying a Sniffari.

Nell: Sniffaris are casual. This looks intense.

Me: There are a lot of deer around at the moment. Maybe she caught their scent?

Nell: Could be.

Me: Or squirrels? Kev says he saw a whole group of them in a tree.

Nell: Was Harriet wearing a hat?

Me: No.

Nell: Were you?

Me: No. The sky was grey and it was rainy.

Nell: You should still wear a hat.

Me: I will next time.

Nell: What about jewellery?

Me: I’m not going to wear jewellery on a walk.

Nell: I’m talking about Harriet.

Me: Harriet’s not like you. She doesn’t like tiaras and pearls.

Nell: Are you sure she wasn’t wearing a necklace?

Me: I don’t think so. Just her usual collar. Why all these questions?

Nell: I feel like something’s been lost.

Me: We lost Dave’s favourite toy but we found it as soon as we got him another.

Nell: Where?

Me: He’d forgotten it behind the garden box.

Nell: Did Harriet have a ball?

Me: I don’t think so. She doesn’t usually take one on this walk.

Nell: Well, something’s been lost and you need to know what it is.

Me: Do you remember when I lost my mother’s eternity ring?

Nell: Yes, I do. You were very upset.

Me: Kev got me a metal detector and we found it in the garden.

Nell: Where are Henry and Horst?

Me: I don’t know.

Nell: Find out right now. Something is wrong.

Me: Calm down. They’re probably on Dave’s hat.

Nell: You said nobody was wearing a hat.

Me: He put it on when we got home.

Nell: Hats are for outside not inside.

Me: Sorry.

Nell: Devon’s looking wonderfully green.

Me: It is.

Nell: Good see the Puppies enjoying their walk.

Me: One of the things I love is calling Harriet and seeing her run towards me with a big smile on her face.

Nell: Harriet is very good at recall.

Me: Only on walks. At home she’ll often ignore me if she’s comfortable somewhere.

Nell: Nobody likes to be disturbed when they’re asleep.

Me: Especially when it’s on my bed.

Nell: Beds are meant to be slept on.

Me: Not by muddy Labradors.

Nell: You can always wash the bed cover. It’s not the end of the world.

Me: It is when you’ve just changed the bed.

Nell: It’s just mud and before you ask, yes we have mud up here.

Me: And beds?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Of course we have beds and sofas and armchairs.

Me: Good. You used to love a comfortable sofa.

Nell: I still do.

Me: Many’s the time you and I would sit on the sofa together.

Nell: I remember.

Me: My precious Nell.

Nell: Are you having one of those days?

Me: I think I might be.

Nell: We need to find a pocketful of happiness.

Me: We do.

Nell: I believe the sun might be shining.

Me: It is.

Nell: The Weather Guardians said it would be for a while.

Me: We had an awful lot of rain last night.

Nell: Rain is good for the plants.

Me: Dave and Harriet dug a big hole in the garden and lay in it.

Nell: Not their finest hour.

Me: It made them very happy.

Nell: Unfortunately some animals’ pocketfuls of happiness are not other people’s.

Me: Especially when they dry themselves off on a clean bed.

Nell: Are we back to muddy beds again?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Isn’t Dave impossibly handsome?

Nell: David is a good looking Labrador.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He had such a wonderful time yesterday.

Nell: Doing what?

Me: We had a really lovely long walk in the countryside.

Nell: I’m glad to hear it.

Me: The little bit of rain has made everything much greener.

Nell: I can see that.

Me: And Dave was able to snoofle and roll.

Nell: Excuse me?

Me: Snoofle and roll.

Nell: I heard you the first time. What does it mean?

Me: Dave sort of sniffs the grass and then he bodysurfs and rolls. And before you ask there wasn’t any fox poo. It was just grass.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Charlotte’s old lab Harry and our old Yorkshire terrier Zapp loved nothing more than rolling in fox poo.

Nell: Only because it smells wonderful.

Me: It really doesn’t, Nell. Trust me. It’s disgusting.

Nell: Not to us. Anyway, enough talk of poo, today is the first of the month so please share the link to the website where people can support your writing.

Me: It’s https://buymeacoffee.com/saramartin. Thank you so much in advance. I really appreciate every single cup.

Nell: So do I. From afar nowadays, but I know how much it means to Sara to have your support.

Me: It does.

Nell: Now, June is a month of emotions both happy and sad.

Me: It is.

Nell: It’s the anniversary of your mother’s death on 11th but your sister Charlotte’s birthday on 17th and Dave and Harriet’s birthday on 19th.

Me: I’m glad it’s that way around. I can do my grieving first.

Nell: Remember grief is only love with nowhere to go.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: Always.

Me: Except about the fox poo.

Nell: Enough about poo.

Me: Sorry.

Me: How can it be the last day of May?

Nell: Because it’s the 1st June tomorrow.

Me: You know what I mean. Sometimes time flies.

Nell: It does. So, what’s going on?

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: Look at Nigel’s face.

Me: He’s on my chair where Dave sits and he knows it.

Nell: He isn’t going to move.

Me: No. I’m afraid those two boys often have a power play going on. Kev calls it ‘handbags at dawn’.

Nell: Harriet and I kept well out of it.

Me: Excuse me? You never kept out of it. You always told everyone what to do.

Nell: It was for their own good. That’s different.

Me: I’m not sure it is.

Nell: Moving on, what are your plans today? Bacon sandwiches and Sunday Songs?

Me: Yes. It’s been very hot recently so we’re not having a Sunday roast just a selection of salads with new potatoes.

Nell: Salads? On a Sunday?

Me: I love a good salad and it will make a nice change.

Nell: You can have A Nice Change in the week but not on a Sunday.

Me: Well, we are.

Nell: Poppy won’t believe me when I tell her.

Me: Then don’t.

Nell: She’s roasting a chicken as we speak.

Me: Do you have Sunday Songs?

Nell: Of course. We have everything. The Great Barberino’s great friend Eppie joined us recently so there will be songs of welcome.

Me: Aren’t Guardians constantly joining you?

Nell: Yes, but not necessarily ones we know.

Me: I see what you mean.

Nell: But you’re right. We always have welcoming songs on a Sunday.

Me: It’s a nice thought.

Nell: Which is a lot better than A Nice Change. I can’t believe you’re eating salads.

Me: I’m afraid we are. Sorry.

Nell: It’s good to see Nigel out and about.

Me: Yes, isn’t it? And look at those beautiful views.

Nell: Where is that?

Me: Start Point. It’s on the other side.

Nell: What other side?

Me: The Big Sea side.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: I grew up in Torquay on the Big Sea side.

Nell: Is the sea bigger on that side?

Me: No, but it feels different on the coastal road towards Dartmouth. Sort of bigger.

Nell: Start Point isn’t on that map.

Me: It’s the furthest point on the bottom right hand side. There’s even a lighthouse.

Nell: The lighthouse isn’t on the map either.

Me: And the road that was damaged in the storms is the one running up the coast on the far right.

Nell: I’ve been along there.

Me: Yes, you have.

Nell: In an open top car with you and Alice.

Me: Yes, that was a fun holiday. The weather was so perfect we never had to put the roof up once.

Nell; The car was covered in leaves.

Me: It was.

Nell: Start Point needs to be on the map.

Me: Fine, I’m putting another one on. Is that better?

Nell: Yes, now you can see Start Point and the lighthouse.

Me: You can.

Nell: And Hope Cove. Where’s our island?

Me: I don’t know why it isn’t on there.

Nell: It should be there across from Bigbury and Bantham.

Me: I’m not putting a third map on, Nell.

Nell: At least Dartmoor is on there, I suppose.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Start Point is on both sides, by the way. The Big Sea Side and the other side.

Me: I know.

Nell: It’s disgraceful that our island isn’t on there. Find a better map next time, please.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Dave’s so big Harriet can walk under his tail.

Nell: Interesting.

Me: I thought so.

Nell: There seems to be a lot of bounding around.

Me: The weather’s a little cooler which is a relief, to be honest.

Nell: I’m sure it is.

Me: I used to be such a hot weather person.

Nell: Times change.

Me: Having skin cancer has changed my whole attitude to the sun.

Nell: It’s understandable. You will think differently about a lot of things now.

Me: I do.

Nell: Did Faye like her poem?

Me: Very much and she and Jonathan were absolutely delighted to see Uncle Darling and Shannon.

Nell: Uncle Darling?

Me: It’s what Faye calls Chris.

Nell: She takes after you.

Me: What does that mean?

Nell: You’re always giving people nicknames.

Me: I know. It’s a Welsh thing. We’re a nation of storytellers.

Nell: That makes sense.

Me: I grew up listening to Dylan Thomas.

Nell: Was he a relative?

Me: I wish. No, he was a truly wonderful Welsh poet and writer.

Nell: I think I’ve heard you speak of him.

Me: My grandmother once called him Nylon Thomas by accident. We laughed and laughed.

Nell: I expect there was a lot of laughter in Germany yesterday.

Me: Yes. Chris sent me some photos. It looked like they were having a lovely time together.

Nell: We had an excellent tea. Poppy’s scones with jam and cream, finger sandwiches and a delicious cake.

Me: Perfect.

Nell: Mutley played the piano. The Great Barberino sang and Charlie and I danced.

Me: I absolutely love that, Nell. There is nothing better than imagining you dancing with Charlie again.

Nell: We Guardians know how to have fun.

Me: You do.

Nell: You can miss someone and still have fun.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: It’s Fayely’s birthday today!

Nell: Happy Birthday Faye!

Me: Chris and Shannon landed safely at Heathrow and are waiting for their onward flight to Berlin.

Nell: You sound tired. Were you tracking their flight all night?

Me: Not all night.

Nell: Ridiculous behaviour.

Me: I can’t help it.

Nell: Yes, you can.

Me: Anyway, they’re nearly there now and soon they will all be celebrating together.

Nell: Lovely. We are going to celebrate up here, too. Poppy has made a Victoria sponge cake and her famous scones.

Me: Will there be sandwiches?

Nell: Of course. Crusts off.

Me: I think we might do the same. I’ll ask Herr Hoffmann.

Nell: I’ve written a poem. Would you like to hear it?

Me: Very much.

Nell: Here it is:

‘Speak up, please!

What did you just say?

Are you seriously 

Talking about Faye?

She can’t be seven.

That can’t be true.

Yesterday 

She was only two.

I know time flies 

When you’re having fun

But a few days ago

She was only one.

Yes, I know that’s nonsense,

But don’t blame me.

A week ago

She was only three.

You say she was six?

Shut that door.

A month ago 

She was only four.

She might have been five,

But six, never.

And seven today?

Knock me down 

With a feather.

Don’t just stand there

Fetch a cat.

Or do I mean

A party hat?

I think I do

For Goodness sake 

There must be ice cream

And lots of cake.

And songs and games

On this happy day

Because Fayely is seven

And we all love Faye.’

Me: Thank you. She’s going to love it.

Nell: My pleasure.

Me: My pocketful of happiness is knowing they will all be together again.

Nell: It’s ok to miss them.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: I see you took the Puppies down to the river.

Me: It’s always a little cooler down there.

Nell: Yes. The trees give you shade and there’s usually a light breeze, not to mention the river itself.

Me: Look at the joy on Harriet’s face. She’s not going to let the hot weather stop her having fun.

Nell: A gentle swim is just the thing on a warm day but running up and down the river bank is a little too much.

Me: She loves it, Nell. She smiles all the time when she’s in the water. Bless her. She’s a proper water rat.

Nell: Less of the rat, please. Harriet is a pedigree Labrador.

Me: It’s just a saying.

Nell: I always enjoyed a paddle in the cool water.

Me: I remember it well. You used to love surfing the waves, too.

Nell: Yes, in my younger days I liked to swim in the sea.

Me: Kev was saying how fast you could run when you were chasing a ball.

Nell: I was surprisingly quick on my paws.

Me: Happy memories.

Nell: Yes.

Me: My pocketful of happiness today is those memories and seeing Harriet having fun.

Nell: Mine too.

Me: It’s Faye’s birthday tomorrow. She’s going to be seven.

Nell: My goodness. How time flies.

Me: It seems only yesterday she was born.

Nell: Not really. A lot has happened since then. Covid for one.

Me: True. Chris and Shannon are flying to Berlin tonight so they’ll be there to celebrate with Faye.

Nell: How lovely.

Me: Yes. Are you going to write a poem for her?

Nell: Don’t I always?

Me: I know, but things are different now.

Nell: Not that different and definitely not when it comes to writing poems for loved ones.

Me: Sorry.