Nell: What’s the matter with everyone?

Me: They’re on Pug Alert.

Nell: Pug Alert?

Me: Nigel went to the pub for a pint with Kev yesterday.

Nell: Is that relevant?

Me: Yes. Nigel and Kev were sitting outside enjoying a chat as usual when an angry pug came racing out and attacked Nigel.

Nell: Was Nigel doing anything untoward?

Me: No.

Nell: How rude.

Me: Yes. He wasn’t exactly best pleased and told the pug exactly what he thought of it in quite a forceful manner.

Nell: What did the pug do?

Me: It hid under the table until its owner came out and apologised.

Nell: Did Nigel accept the apology?

Me: In a way, but I don’t think they’re ever going to become friends.

Nell: It wasn’t Babycakes Gillespie, was it?

Me: Definitely not. I know Babycakes is a gangster pug from Plymouth but he’s retired now. We haven’t seen him for a while.

Nell: And Babycakes would never have attacked Nigel without reason.

Me: Or at all. Hopefully.

Nell: So, what are your plans for today?

Me: Sunday Songs, a walk in the countryside and a Salady Dinner.

Nell: A Salady Dinner? In October?

Me: We had a gammon for dinner last night so there’s a lot left over and it’s perfect with salad.

Nell: But it’s Sunday.

Me: It means the Hoffmanns get an evening off.

Nell: We’re having Roast Pork with crackling and apple sauce.

Me: Tasty.

Nell: Poppy wouldn’t dream of offering anyone salad on a Sunday.

Me: I know.

Nell: That pug was lucky Poppy wasn’t around when it attacked Nigel.

Me: Does she still carry a sword?

Nell: Yes, or a cutlass. It depends on her mood.

Me: I hope that pug isn’t at Sunday Songs.

Nell: It wouldn’t dare.

Me: No. Sorry.

Nell: I hope David and Nigel weren’t arguing.

Me: No, they were just play fighting.

Nell: Play fighting?

Me: One of them twirls around quickly, sticks their bottom in the air and gives the other a fierce, sideways look. Then the other one pretends to be scared.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: You used to do it now and again when you were in the mood. Although I’m not sure it was actually play fighting with you.

Nell: I never stuck my bottom in the air.

Me: No, but you definitely gave the fierce, sideways look.

Nell: Nigel deserved it.

Me: Anyway, it wasn’t serious. Dave and Nigel were just having fun.

Nell: Good. How was your Turkish evening?

Me: It was hilarious. Gladys and the llamas were trying to do the Dance of the Seven Veils and got tangled up with each other.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: The llamas kept falling over.

Nell: Did Gladys find it funny?

Me: No. She takes her dancing very seriously.

Nell: What are your plans for today?

Me: Strictly’s back on television so we’re all going to watch that.

Nell: Good idea. I have fond memories of my days as a professional ballroom dancer with my partner Anton du Bark.

Me: Is there anything you haven’t done, Nell?

Nell: I was never into rock climbing.

Me: Like Pamela the Pyrenean Mountain Dog who criticised your weight?

Nell: Why do you always have to bring that up?

Me: I remember how cross you were.

Nell: Who wouldn’t be? Pamela is the size of a pony.

Me: I don’t think Pamela has actually ever climbed a mountain.

Nell: Of course she hasn’t. She can barely walk up Kingsbridge high street.

Me: It is very steep.

Nell: That’s not the point.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Look at sweet-faced Harriet. Isn’t she adorable?

Nell: That’s a rather unflattering angle.

Me: Stop being so critical.

Nell: What are your plans for the weekend?

Me: Charlotte and Nigel are coming over and we’re having a Turkish Night.

Nell: Turkish?

Me: Yes. I’m rather excited.

Nell: I hope you’re not going to eat that awful sticky stuff.

Me: You mean Turkish Delight?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Definitely not. I can’t stand it and rose water doesn’t agree with me.

Nell: Of course it doesn’t. You must never drink out of a vase.

Me: Rose water is made with clean water.

Nell: Leave it alone, please.

Me: Don’t worry. I’m sticking to grilled meat and flatbreads.

Nell: I expect David is excited. Grilled meat is his favourite.

Me: Gladys and the llamas are going to perform some kind of interpretive dance.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Did I ever tell you I went to belly dancing classes when I lived in Berlin?

Nell: No, you did not.

Me: It was ever so difficult.

Nell: Please don’t tell me you will be dancing.

Me: Absolutely not, but Dave might join in.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: I bet Poppy would cook you a Turkish dinner if you asked her.

Nell: I’m fine, thank you, and Friday means fish.

Me: Freshly caught?

Nell: Of course.

Me: By Poppy?

Nell: Who else? Although I think Patrick might be joining her on the boat as she’ll need to concentrate on the fishing.

Me: You have boats?

Nell: We have everything. Has there been any news of Rupert?

Me: He’s still in Canada.

Nell: I hope he’s going to visit Chris, Shannon and Marvin before he leaves.

Me: I’m sure he’ll pop in if he can.

Nell: Pop in? They need a proper visit.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Hope Cove is looking beautiful.

Me: Yes. It was wonderful to be by the sea and back at the Cottage Hotel.

Nell: Does it feel different now there are new owners?

Me: A little.

Nell: Before we discuss yesterday, it’s the first of October so please share the link to the website where people can buy you a cup of Earl Grey.

Me: It’s https://buymeacoffee.com/saramartin. Thank you so much in advance. Your support means a lot.

Nell: So, how was the book launch?

Me: Really enjoyable. It was good to see Michael and other writers in the flesh again and not just on Zoom.

Nell: I’m glad.

Me: Michael asked me to read from his book so I read the part where his daughter was born and people were moved to tears.

Nell: Well done.

Me: I used to be a voiceover artist so he knew I could do it.

Nell: Did you get a signed copy of his book?

Me: Of course, and he wrote in it that I should write my memoir.

Nell: It’s definitely worth thinking about.

Me: It is.

Nell: I see David is wearing that silly ring on his head again.

Me: He and Harriet were so excited when we came home. They thought we had gone forever.

Nell: It’s our duty and pleasure to welcome you with as much gusto as we can manage.

Me: Dave has a lot of gusto.

Nell: I remember.

Me: Coming home to dogs is always a joy. You never blame us for being late.

Nell: We dogs always forgive. Unlike cats. They forgive nothing and no one.

Me: Cats are different to dogs. You would never see a cat with a ring on its head.

Nell: You would never see me with one either.

Me: No. Sorry.

Nell: I see David and Harriet were busy exploring again.

Me: Yes. Look how green everything is.

Nell: David’s leading the way.

Me: I know. It’s unusual to see Harriet following. She’s usually running around.

Nell: She’s probably keeping an eye on him.

Me: Faye does that with Jonathan Sky. He’s such a dreamer.

Nell: What are your plans today?

Me: Kev and I are off to the Cottage Hotel this afternoon.

Nell: Why?

Me: My writer friend Michael Pantlin has a book launch.

Nell: What’s the title of the book?

Me: ‘Belonging to Myself’. It’s a brave and wonderful memoir.

Nell: How interesting.

Me: Michael had a very difficult relationship with his mother and was starved of love as a child. There was finally an unspoken reconciliation on her death bed but it was a very long time coming.

Nell: How sad.

Me: Yes. He moved from Liverpool to Holland when he was ten and has always had a foot in two countries.

Nell: Like you.

Me: Yes, I moved to Berlin when I was 18 and didn’t return to the UK until I was 47.

Nell: Maybe you should write your memoir?

Me: That’s what Michael said.

Nell: You were living in West Berlin when the Berlin Wall came down.

Me: I was.

Nell: You must have so many stories to tell.

Me: You know I do.

Nell: Think about it.

Me: Writing a memoir is a huge task.

Nell: It is.

Me: I admire Michael for having the courage to do it.

Nell: I’d like to read it.

Me: I could get you a signed copy but how can I give it to you?

Nell: Don’t worry. I’ll take it out of the library.

Me: You have a library?

Nell: We have everything.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

Nell: Morning. What was the matter with David?

Me: He wanted Harriet to come downstairs.

Nell: Where was she?

Me: Upstairs. She’d found a patch of sunshine and was warming herself.

Nell: Sensible girl.

Me: It made me think.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: It’s the same as a pocketful of happiness, isn’t it?

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: In darker times we need to find a patch of sunshine.

Nell: We do.

Me: I had a lovely FaceTime with Chris and Shannon at the weekend.

Nell: Good.

Me: They were in their new house and showed me around.

Nell: An exciting time.

Me: Marvin was there, too. He loves the garden.

Nell: A garden is important for us dogs.

Me: Seeing how happy Chris and Shannon are in their new home has made me happy, too.

Nell: Yes.

Me: And the feeling of happiness has stayed with me and carried me through sad times.

Nell: I’m glad to hear it.

Me: So, in a way I’m like Harriet. I’ve found my patch of sunshine and I can go there when I need to.

Nell: But David has to stay downstairs.

Me: I wouldn’t say that, Nell.

Nell: If he takes the patch of sunshine there won’t be any room for anyone else.

Me: I suppose not, although I’d like to think it could be shared.

Nell: Sharing is caring.

Me: Dave’s patch of sunshine was when Harriet heard him crying and came downstairs. She gave up her sunshine for him.

Nell: And made another for them both.

Me: That’s true.

Nell: It must have been a very large patch.

Me: I think it grows when it’s shared.

Nell: You’re having a rather insightful morning.

Me: I am, aren’t I?

Nell: Don’t worry. It won’t last.

Me: No. Sorry.

Nell: Good morning. You’re late today.

Me: Harriet and I were having Monday Cuddles and we forgot the time.

Nell: Monday Cuddles?

Me: Mondays can be a bit difficult so cuddles are needed.

Nell: What’s difficult about Mondays?

Me: Start of the week, back to work, back to school. All that kind of thing.

Nell: There’s a sadness in your voice. Why?

Me: A lovely woman I’ve known online for several years died quite suddenly in Canada at the weekend. She was only in her fifties and it really shocked me.

Nell: It would do.

Me: Her name was Fiona Bird. She was from Yorkshire. Her family back home must be devastated as is her husband, Ben, who tried to save her. He was the love of her life and she was his.

Nell: Did you tell him she’s safe and reunited with the ones she loved?

Me: I did. She loved animals so I know they’ll have been waiting for her.

Nell: They will. She will be watching over Ben now.

Me: It must be hard to see people grieving.

Nell: It’s the hardest part of being a Guardian.

Me: Heartbreaking.

Nell: Please know I’m always here to listen if you need me.

Me: Thank you. Anyway, I needed to find a pocketful of happiness today and I found it in cuddling Harriet.

Nell: That was exactly the right thing to do.

Me: I thought so.

Nell: Harriet is a strong and capable animal.

Me: I think Dave might be a little jealous, though.

Nell: You’d better cuddle him, too. Cuddling is one of David’s strengths.

Me: It is. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: You have to find happiness where you can. Even in the midst of sadness.

Me: I am sad. Sorry.

Nell: No sorries. Not today.

Nell: The Weather Guardians tell me you should expect rain today.

Me: They’re right. It’s been raining for hours.

Nell: Why did you wake Nigel? He was happily asleep in the Yellow Chair.

Me: I was checking in on everyone as I know you like me to keep you updated.

Nell: So, how are they all? Nigel seems tired.

Me: Harriet felt a lot better yesterday but she’s still asleep upstairs so we’ll have to see how she is later.

Nell: And David?

Me: Dave is upstairs snoozing and waiting for bacon.

Nell: It seems everyone is trying to have a lie-in except you.

Me: Herr Hoffmann’s been up for hours baking.

Nell: He’s always up early. Does Sunday Songs have a theme today?

Me: It might be Singing in the Rain?

Nell: You just made that up, didn’t you?

Me: Yes, but the Welsh Corgi Choir are wearing sou’westers, so it’s possible.

Nell: Try not to get too wet and remind everyone to wipe their feet on the doormat when they get back.

Me: There’s no need. Veronica will clean it up. She’s amazingly hard-working. We’re rather fond of her.

Nell: She’s a robot.

Me: She talks to us. Tells us when she’s cleaning her mops and when she’s going home to her station.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: I’m looking forward to our Sunday roast today. It’s roast chicken with all the trimmings.

Nell: Not bread sauce, I hope. Horrible stuff.

Me: Of course, and chipolatas and stuffing and cauliflower cheese.

Nell: Give me cranberry sauce any day.

Me: We’re having both, and lots of roasted vegetables and gravy. We’re even having mashed potatoes and Yorkshire puddings.

Nell: I thought you said Harriet was on a diet?

Me: It’s Sunday, Nell, and it’s raining.

Nell: No excuse.

Me: Sorry.

Me: Dogs hate closed doors.

Nell: It’s important we can access all areas at all times.

Me: Not when there are deliveries, or people need privacy.

Nell: Why did you shut Nigel alone in the bedroom?

Me: He wasn’t alone. I was there and so was Harriet.

Nell: And David?

Me: Dave was there, too.

Nell: I can’t believe you forgot David. He isn’t exactly easily missed.

Me: Nigel kept turning his head to and fro to listen to Kev talking to the delivery man downstairs. It was sweet.

Nell: It was none of Nigel’s business.

Me: You said dogs should have access to all areas.

Nell: Potato, potahto.

Me: You did.

Nell: You sound a little tired.

Me: I am. Harriet woke me up in the night crying.

Nell: Why?

Me: She wanted to get on the bed but she was really stiff after a long walk.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: I told her she was too heavy for me to lift her and she mustn’t try and jump.

Nell: Sensible.

Me: But she wouldn’t stop crying so I had to wake Kev and he lifted her on to the bed.

Nell: Was she alright after that?

Me: Yes. I stroked her and she went straight to sleep.

Nell: She’s going to have to lose weight.

Me: Yes, she is. I couldn’t get to sleep for ages afterwards as she reminded me of you.

Nell: I never cried and demanded to be lifted onto the bed.

Me: No, you were stoic and suffered silently.

Nell: It doesn’t have to be arthritis. She might have simply overdone it.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: But she might have to go slow on the Yorkshire puddings tomorrow.

Me: She won’t like it.

Nell: She’s going to have to lump it.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Harriet’s looking rather serious this morning.

Me: It might be the cabbage soup.

Nell: Wasn’t it a success?

Me: Not really. I thought it was tasty but I might have been in the minority. Diets are difficult things.

Nell: They are indeed.

Me: I’m not sure they’re suitable for weekends.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Weekends are for treats.

Nell: I couldn’t agree more.

Me: We need cake. I made the mistake of watching The Great British Bake Off without anything sweet in the house.

Nell: Not even a biscuit?

Me: No.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: It was agony.

Nell: Poppy made us a delicious lemon drizzle cake. Patrick can’t get enough of it.

Me: The Irish wolfhound?

Nell: He’s already the size of a horse.

Me: Dave’s only a pony.

Nell: He’s bigger than David and much louder.

Me: Dave’s often loud when Nigel’s around.

Nell: Aren’t we all?

Me: You used to scold Nigel terribly.

Nell: He was annoying.

Me: He only walked into the room.

Nell: It was enough.

Me: I hope you don’t scold Patrick like that.

Nell: Only sometimes, and he doesn’t care. Has there been any more news from Rupert?

Me: He’s in Ottawa with Mark and the Vietnamese president.

Nell: He certainly gets around.

Me: One of the best curries I ever had was at a Vietnamese restaurant near Berlin. It was so fragrant and delicious.

Nell: It’s far too early in the day to be talking about curry.

Me: Just saying.

Nell: They have unicorns in Vietnam.

Me: Unicorns are fictional animals, Nell.

Nell: The Saola is known as the Asian Unicorn.

Me: Really?

Nell: It has two horns and hasn’t been seen since 2013 but one can still hope.

Me: Hope what?

Nell: To see one.

Me: Right. Sorry.