

Me: Look at my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He’s completely exhausted.
Nell: We’re all a little tired of Getting The House Ready.
Me: I know, but there’s nothing to be done. This is a stressful time.
Nell: What about Christmas?
Me: We’re still having Christmas, Nell. We just have to get the photos out of the way.
Nell: Should I wear my pearls?
Me: Your pearls?
Nell: Yes. For the photos.
Me: The photos aren’t of you, Nell. They’re of the house.
Nell: Surely having me in them would only add to the value?
Me: I agree, but not everyone is a dog person.
Nell: You don’t think cats are going to move in here, do you?
Me: There might not be any animals.
Nell: No animals?
Me: Hard to believe, I know.
Nell: Does this mean you don’t want Gladys and the llamas to perform in the field when the photographer is here?
Me: Not really.
Nell: What about the Welsh Corgi Choir?
Me: I’m afraid not.
Nell: This is going to be hard for them to accept.
Me: Selling a house is about space not clutter.
Nell: The Welsh Corgi Choir isn’t clutter.
Me: Of course not. I just meant we’re having to try and take ourselves out of the pictures.
Nell: But we are what makes it home.
Me: Yes, and that’s why I know you will all make it home wherever we go.
Nell: You’re right. So, Herr Hoffmann won’t need to provide tea for people viewing the house?
Me: No, we will all go out when they come.
Nell: You mean we won’t even meet them?
Me: No. The estate agents show them around.
Nell: I don’t like the idea of this at all.
Me: It’s the way it has to be, Nell. Sorry.