Nell: What is going on there?

Me: Nigel is sitting with Kev and Dave is feeling a little left out.

Nell: Nigel is gloating.

Me: Nigel isn’t gloating.

Nell: He is. Look at his face.

Me: He’s just happy to be with Uncle.

Nell: David is Kev’s Best Boy.

Me: I know he is.

Nell: Not Nigel.

Me: Of course not. But I knew Nigel would cheer Kev up. He always does.

Nell: Did they go to the pub for a pint?

Me: No. Kev’s not well enough. They went for a lovely long walk.

Nell: And David?

Me: Dave and Harriet went for a lovely longer walk, actually.

Nell: Good. I can’t have their place in the family usurped by an interloper.

Me: Nigel isn’t an interloper, Nell. Dave and Harriet are safe and secure.

Nell: Not according to David’s face.

Me: He’s just a bit jealous. You were the same.

Nell: I wasn’t jealous. I just didn’t like Nigel.

Me: We know. You didn’t disguise it.

Nell: Anyway, how was the Chinese takeaway? Did David use chopsticks?

Me: No, he didn’t.

Nell: Good. I’m glad you listened to me.

Me: We had an Indian takeaway.

Nell: Why?

Me: Chinese is Kev’s favourite but he felt too unwell so Charlotte and I had an Indian instead.

Nell: Dogs can’t eat Indian food. It’s too spicy.

Me: I know.

Nell: So, you let them all sit there hopefully with their bowls and chopsticks and gave them nothing to eat?

Me: They had dog biscuits.

Nell: Dog biscuits? For dinner? Poppy isn’t going to believe this.

Me: They’re dogs, Nell. They shouldn’t eat Chinese food either.

Nell: Why order it?

Me: Because sometimes it’s not only about you dogs.

Nell: I can’t believe you just said that.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

Me: Look at my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Isn’t he the handsomest hound you ever saw?

Nell: David is not a hound. He’s a pedigree Labrador.

Me: He’s gorgeous.

Nell: You’re up early again.

Me: Yes. Kev’s still not well.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: He went to see the doctor yesterday and they’ve had to put him on another course of antibiotics but they have nasty side effects.

Nell: He must be very tired of all this.

Me: He’s absolutely exhausted.

Nell: David seems a little exhausted, too.

Me: He’s just fed up with it all. He doesn’t like it when someone is ill. Especially Kev.

Nell: None of us do.

Me: I’m hoping Nigel might lift Kev’s spirits.

Nell: Nigel?

Me: Yes. He’s coming to visit us for the weekend.

Nell: A visit from Nigel wouldn’t lift my spirits.

Me: We all know that, Nell. You made your feelings quite clear when you were still with us.

Nell: I am still with you.

Me: You know what I mean.

Nell: Have you been feeding Kev fish?

Me: Not every day. We had a delicious vegetarian pasta courtesy of Stanley Smoochy with lots of garlic and courgettes.

Nell: Garlic and courgettes? The man needs meat.

Me: James Beddall won’t like you saying that.

Nell: It’s true.

Me: Herr Hoffmann is taking Frau Hoffmann to the cinema this evening so we’re having a Chinese takeaway and I expect Kev will choose his favourite beef dish.

Nell: Beef in black bean sauce?

Me: You know him so well.

Nell: Don’t let David use chopsticks again, please. You know the mess he makes.

Me: But he loves it so much, Nell, and it makes me laugh.

Nell: Just because it makes you laugh doesn’t mean David should do it.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Harriet has a Don’t Care Attitude this morning.

Nell: What on earth are you talking about?

Me: Look at her face and her nonchalantly crossed paws.

Nell: She looks just like Harriet.

Me: But does she look sorry to you?

Nell: Not particularly. No.

Me: Exactly.

Nell: So, you think she should be looking sorry?

Me: Yes, I do.

Nell: What happened?

Me: I made my bed with fresh pillows and duvet covers and then covered it in my favourite blanket.

Nell: And?

Me: And I left the room and when I came back Harriet was in the middle of the bed with the pillows and the duvet thrown everywhere and the blanket on the floor.

Nell: She was probably just making a nest.

Me: In my clean bed.

Nell: Was she sorry?

Me: A little bit but she’s already forgotten. I can tell.

Nell: She’s right. It’s best not to dwell on these things.

Me: I had a lovely fresh bed and now it’s full of woodland paws.

Nell: These things happen.

Me: And Harriet is looking at me like I’ve done something wrong.

Nell: Did you shout?

Me: Only briefly. Anyone would have done.

Nell: Shouting is unpleasant.

Me: Yes, it is.

Nell: I’m not surprised Harriet went downstairs and is keeping out of your way.

Me: I was so looking forward to my lovely fresh bed.

Nell: Stop moaning. It’s just a bed and beds can be changed.

Me: That’s what I just did.

Nell: Go and give Harriet a cuddle. It will make you feel better.

Me: Will it?

Nell: Yes. You know you were grumpy and she didn’t mean any harm.

Me: I suppose I do.

Nell: And shut the door after you’ve made the bed or it will happen again.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: You’re up early.

Me: I’ve got a busy mind at the moment.

Nell: Do you know why?

Me: Not really.

Nell: What’s Nigel doing out on our walk in the middle of the week?

Me: He came for a brief visit.

Nell: Nigel visits at the weekend.

Me: Nigel is welcome any time. Anyway, look what the farmer’s tractor has done to the path down to the stream.

Nell: It’s probably the only way for the farmer to get to the field.

Me: That’s what Kev said.

Nell: Horses are the same. Churning up the earth with their hooves.

Me: They’re allowed. It’s a bridleway. Do you remember when the hunt went past us on the lane?

Nell: I certainly do.

Me: I held my hands over your eyes so you didn’t get scared.

Nell: The hounds bothered me more than the horses.

Me: Poppy tried to chase a horse once.

Nell: Poppy is afraid of nothing.

Me: She used to bark at cows.

Nell: She still does if they don’t deliver her milk on time. And yes, we have Cow Guardians.

Me: Jim the Farm Dog brought us some lovely farmhouse butter and cheese yesterday.

Nell: He was always a helpful animal. Poppy’s started making her own cheese.

Me: Goodness me.

Nell: She likes to keep busy. I expect Harriet was pleased to see Jim.

Me: She was. He gave her a bouquet of wild flowers.

Nell: Where were David and Harriet? I can’t see them in the photos.

Me: They went on an extra long walk with Kev.

Nell: At least everything is looking a little greener.

Me: Yes, we’ve had rain most days.

Nell: Is your busy mind a little calmer now?

Me: It is. Thank you.

Nell: I’m always here, you know.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: You remember you said you know everything?

Nell: I do.

Me: Well, there’s something exciting I’ve been keeping a secret that you don’t know.

Nell: I very much doubt it. But it’s 1st September so let’s share the website where people can support your writing with a cup of Earl Grey.

Me: I thought you’d want to know my secret.

Nell: Just share the link first, please. You need the support.

Me: It’s https://buymeacoffee.com/saramartin. Thank you so much in advance.

Nell: So, why have you posted your favourite photo of me with Alice?

Me: Back in July Alice had some exciting news which was too early to share with anyone.

Nell: I’m not anyone.

Me: I really couldn’t share it.

Nell: Is it about her doctorate in education?

Me: No, although she’s had another article published so she’s a step closer.

Nell: Tell me.

Me: Alice’s having another baby.

Nell: A baby?

Me: Next February and it’s a boy.

Nell: This is very exciting.

Me: Another grandson.

Nell: I’m presuming he wasn’t planned.

Me; Definitely not. Faye is 7 and Jonathan will be 10 this month.

Nell: On the 19th September. I remember it well.

Me: Don’t we all.

Nell: Do the children know?

Me: Yes and they’re looking forward to welcoming a little brother into the family.

Nell: Does he have a name yet?

Me: Baby Bear.

Nell: Bear?

Me: I love it. Jonathan was Lentil and Faye was Baby Snail.

Nell: And this little chap is Baby Bear?

Me: Yes, he is and I can’t wait to meet him.

Nell: Alice is going to be 42 in October.

Me: I know. The doctors are taking great care of her. Don’t worry.

Nell: But I do, and you should have told me.

Me: It was too early. Sorry.

Nell: That’s Marvin in Toronto.

Me: It is. Chris and Shannon have moved into their new house and Marvin is slowly getting used to it.

Nell: Rescue dogs don’t like changes.

Me: I don’t think any dogs do, but rescue dogs find it particularly difficult.

Nell: Unfortunately I’m unable to continue my mentoring on WoofsApp so please send him my love.

Me: I will.

Nell: He’ll need a little time to settle in but as long as Chris and Shannon are there he will be fine.

Me: Chris is hoping to fly over to see us here in the UK soon but he’s waiting until everything is safe and familiar for Marvin before he leaves.

Nell: A sensible decision. There’s also an awful lot to do when you move house.

Me: There certainly is. Kev and I were only just saying we wouldn’t want to go through it again any time soon.

Nell: How is Kev?

Me: Still very tired but finally off the antibiotics.

Nell: They seem to have done their job.

Me: Yes. He’ll have to go back to the doctor for check-ups but hopefully all is well now.

Nell: It’s been quite a few weeks.

Me: It has.

Nell: How was your roast beef?

Me: Delicious and the lovely thing is we get to have beef sandwiches for lunch.

Nell: You’ll be hungry after your aqua class.

Me: I know that’s your way of checking I’m going.

Nell: Are you?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Even though it’s a Bank Holiday?

Me: Carolyn is still doing the class.

Nell: Carolyn?

Me: Our instructor.

Nell: Don’t overdo it like you did last time.

Me: How do you know that?

Nell: I know everything.

Me: How can you?

Nell: Because I’m watching over you and you tell me.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: You shouldn’t take photos of people falling asleep.

Me: I couldn’t help it. One minute they were playing and the next they’d both fallen asleep.

Nell: Kev’s tired. He’s getting over a nasty illness.

Me: I know he is.

Nell: And David can fall asleep anywhere.

Me: He certainly can. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Especially when Kev and I are cuddling him.

Nell: I see Nigel was trying to get in on the act again.

Me: He was just joining in, Nell. Nobody minded.

Nell: What are your plans today?

Me: It’s raining again so Sunday Songs will be at the Village Hall.

Nell: Is anyone performing?

Me: The Welsh Corgi Choir will be singing Dolly Parton’s greatest hits.

Nell: I hope you’re all going to be wearing rhinestones.

Me: The Cat is. I’m not sure I’m the rhinestone type.

Nell: Gladys and the Llamas are.

Me: They’re dancing the Time Warp.

Nell: I beg your pardon? That is not a Dolly song.

Me: No, it’s in honour of Tim Curry from The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Nell: Yes, I know what it is.

Me: Our friends all danced to it at our wedding. It was a marvellous surprise. Kev and I were called onto the dance floor and then suddenly all these smartly dressed people leapt forward and started dancing the Time Warp.

Nell: A little unusual.

Me: We loved it. We felt like Brad and Janet.

Nell: I suppose I should be glad nobody is performing ‘Sweet Transvestite’.

Me: It might have been a bit too much for Sunday Songs.

Nell: I agree.

Me: Dave was quite keen to give it a go.

Nell: Enough. Let’s concentrate on the promise of roast beef and Yorkshire puddings with lashings of gravy and seasonal vegetables.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: I see you’re featuring Nigel again.

Me: He’s visiting.

Nell: He’s monopolising Kev. He shouldn’t be doing that.

Me: He and Kev are very close, Nell. He calls him ‘Uncle’.

Nell: Uncle?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Uncle Kev?

Me: No. Just ‘Uncle’.

Nell: I don’t like it.

Me: Well, you’re going to have to lump it because that’s the way it is.

Nell: Lump it?

Me: Put up with it. Charles Dickens used the phrase in ‘Our Mutual Friend’ in 1864 but it was popular before then.

Nell: I don’t need a history lesson.

Me: I thought you might be interested.

Nell: How was Manuel’s Spaghetti Bolognese?

Me: Delicious and the grated Parmesan was amazing.

Nell: Don’t be silly. Parmesan is never amazing.

Me: Malcolm grated it beautifully.

Nell: We had corn dogs.

Me: Corn dogs? I’m afraid I don’t like them very much.

Nell: Neither do I.

Me: May I ask why?

Nell: I don’t like the taste.

Me: No. Why you had corn dogs?

Nell: Poppy was too busy line dancing to bother cooking and she said they were appropriate.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Quite. Anyway, I’m not wearing a cowboy hat today.

Me: Good to know.

Nell: What are your plans?

Me: It’s raining which is delightful so I think I’m going to have a mooching around sort of day.

Nell: Sounds good.

Me: I never thought I would be happy to see rain but I really am.

Nell: We all are.

Me: Is it raining up there?

Nell: No, but I know it’s raining down there for you and that’s all that matters to me.

Me: Apart from not having corn dogs again for dinner.

Nell: Obviously.

Me: Or a big bowl of beans.

Nell: Stop.

Me: Or a Son-Of-A-Gun stew.

Nell: That’s enough.

Me: Sorry.

Nell: Good to see David and Harriet enjoying a swim in the river.

Me: They loved it.

Nell: But look at the colour of the water. It’s usually crystal clear.

Me: We had thunderstorms and rain after nothing for so long that it’s all gone muddy.

Nell: I don’t like it.

Me: I’m afraid climate change is happening everywhere, Nell.

Nell: I know. The Weather Guardians are deeply concerned.

Me: There’s an awful lot to be worried about in our world at the moment.

Nell: There is. I hope you are going to your aqua class this morning.

Me: I am.

Nell: It’s important to keep moving at your time of life.

Me: Yes.

Nell: I used to enjoy my aqua aerobics with Chloe.

Me: You were supposed to be walking but you just floated in the warm water.

Nell: How is Chloe?

Me: We had a lovely chat about you a while ago. She said you were a very special dog and I told her you were my soul dog.

Nell: I still am.

Me: You are, indeed.

Nell: How do you feel about country music?

Me: I enjoy it now and again.

Nell: Exactly. There’s a little too much of it going on at the moment for my liking.

Me: It’s the same here. Things will calm down soon.

Nell: What are your plans for the weekend?

Me: Nigel and Charlotte are coming over this evening for Spaghetti Bolognese.

Nell: From the Bus Stop?

Me: No. Stanley Smoochy is away so Manuel is cooking.

Nell: Manuel is an octopus.

Me: I know.

Nell: From Barcelona.

Me: It doesn’t mean he can only cook paella. Malcolm wants to help, but I’m not sure how.

Nell: Let him grate the Parmesan cheese. He’s a very sensitive flamingo.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Harriet’s not happy.

Me: Dolly Parton died.

Nell: I guessed it was about Dolly from the cowboy hat.

Me: It is a bit of a clue.

Nell: I knew The Cat was a fan of Dolly’s but I didn’t know about Harriet.

Me: She loved her. We all did.

Nell: Well, tell Harriet she’s fine and having a wonderful time up here with her husband Carl.

Me: Did you see Dolly?

Nell: No, there were far too many Guardians waiting to greet her. But I expect I will one day.

Me: Dolly did so much for so many and she loved books.

Nell: She did.

Me: I’d be lost without books.

Nell: You and me both.

Me: Do you think I should go and check in on The Cat?

Nell: Yes, you definitely should. Take Dorothy with you.

Me: Dolly was greatly loved.

Nell: She still is. It’s rhinestones and cowboy boots everywhere up here. Poppy is in her element.

Me: I can’t imagine Poppy in rhinestones.

Nell: No. She’s gone for the boots and a cowboy hat.

Me: What about the blonde wig?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Mutley’s wearing that.

Me: Very funny. I’m guessing there’s a lot of country music going on up there.

Nell: There is. The music hasn’t stopped. What about you?

Me: Gladys and the llamas have been line dancing since first thing this morning and the Big Cat Vibe are playing at the Village Hall this afternoon.

Nell: I hope Gladys isn’t singing.

Me: No. Lady BaBa is making a guest appearance.

Nell: You’re going to be hearing a lot of ‘I will always love you’.

Me: I don’t mind and I will.

Nell: Will what?

Me: Always love you, Nell.

Nell: It’s mutual. Now go and comfort The Cat.

Me: Yes. Sorry.