Me: Harriet blends into the background in this dry weather, doesn’t she?

Nell: Only when she’s on spying duty.

Me: She’s a similar colour to the crops.

Nell: Not the green ones.

Me: Never mind.

Nell: Just because Harriet is quieter than David doesn’t mean she can’t be noticed.

Me: I wasn’t saying that. When we’re out and about Harriet isn’t shy at all.

Nell: She didn’t much like the Dog Show.

Me: True. Dave loved it.

Nell: David craves attention.

Me: He does. You can be like that.

Nell: Absolute nonsense. I merely expect people and animals to listen to what I have to say.

Me: I remember.

Nell: It’s why I’ve been nominated as Chief Guardian.

Me: Goodness me. Does that mean you will be in charge of all the Guardians?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Only the Labrador Division.

Me: I see. Do you think you’re going to win?

Nell: I’m up against a rather pompous retired Yellow Labrador so I hope so.

Me: Aren’t all Guardians retired?

Nell: Certainly not. Poppy is never going to retire.

Me: I stand corrected.

Nell: How was Hope Cove?

Me: Lovely. We had a sandwich up at the Cottage Hotel and spent the afternoon at the beach.

Nell: I hope it was a prawn sandwich.

Me: Yes, full of lots of juicy fresh prawns.

Nell: You’re sounding fishy again.

Me: Am I?

Nell: You want to keep an eye on that.

Me: Stop fussing.

Nell: Did you swim in the sea?

Me: Yes. It was cold at first but not for long.

Nell: Did the children swim?

Me: Everyone did.

Nell: Was the beach busy?

Me: Very. There was even a wedding.

Nell: On the beach?

Me: Not an actual ceremony, just photos.

Nell: That’s not a wedding.

Me: No. Sorry.

Nell: David and Faye seem deep in conversation.

Me: They’re just best friends having a little chat and a cuddle.

Nell: Good to see.

Me: Dave’s an excellent listener.

Nell: Really?

Me: He can listen when he wants to and if it isn’t for too long.

Nell: I suppose he is my nephew and I’m an excellent listener.

Me: You are.

Nell: If I was there Faye would be talking to me.

Me: Maybe? You became less of a listener as you got older.

Nell: What did you say?

Me: I said you didn’t listen as much.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: I think it was because you were going deaf.

Nell: Sorry?

Me: You were going deaf.

Nell: Stop shouting. I’m not deaf up here.

Me: Were you teasing me?

Nell: I might have been.

Me: Do you really have no ailments as a Guardian?

Nell: None at all. No stiff joints or aches and pains.

Me: That’s wonderful to know, Nell.

Nell: Yes. What are the plans for today?

Me: Lunch at the Cottage Hotel and an afternoon on the beach.

Nell: Excellent. Will there be a cream tea later?

Me: It depends. There might be ice cream instead.

Nell: Ice cream is not a replacement for scones, jam and cream.

Me: I know but you can eat one on the beach.

Nell: True. Scones can be a little awkward. Did you have a pleasant day yesterday?

Me: We did. Kingsbridge was awfully busy so we didn’t stay too long and spent a lovely afternoon in the garden instead.

Nell: Making happy memories?

Me: Lots and lots.

Nell: Memories are what keeps us all going.

Me: So many of mine are of you.

Nell: And mine of you but they make me very happy.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: How was your Sunday?

Me: Perfect. Lunch at the pub was delicious and later we all went for a long walk in the countryside.

Nell: Those cows seemed interested in you.

Me: Dave was a little bit naughty and barked at them.

Nell: Did they care?

Me: Not really.

Nell: No harm done then. It all looks very dry.

Me: Yes. The farmers are busy with the harvest.

Nell: I can see Kev was explaining to the children about the tall crops.

Me: I think it’s maize.

Nell: It’s very tall.

Me: Talking of tall, we measured the children and wrote their height on the door. Faye’s shot up in the last few months.

Nell: I thought she looked much taller than the last time I saw her at Christmas.

Me: I was measured too as Jonathan is only a few centimetres shorter than me.

Nell: He’ll be taller than you the next time you see each other.

Me: Probably. I’ve been bitten to death by horseflies again, by the way.

Nell: Don’t be so dramatic.

Me: They itch like mad, Nell. I’ve been up all night.

Nell: You need to wear leggings like Faye.

Me: But it’s too hot.

Nell: Stop complaining. What are you doing today?

Me: I’m going to the gym for my aqua class and Alice and the children are going to have a little trundle around the shops.

Nell: And Kev?

Me: He’s going to buy us some fresh fish.

Nell: Oh for goodness sake!

Me: Not from the Beefies. From our fishmonger.

Nell: I don’t understand this obsession with fish.

Me: It’s a treat for Alice. There’s nothing like having fish fresh from the sea.

Nell: Give me a good steak any day.

Me: We’re all having fish and that’s it, Nell. Sorry.

Nell: You’re late for our conversation today.

Me: I was chatting to Alice and Jonathan and forgot the time. Faye’s still asleep.

Nell: It must be lovely to be surrounded by family again.

Me: It is. It was so exciting when the train pulled in and Jonathan and Faye ran along the platform into my arms.

Nell: Many’s the time I’ve been to the station with you to collect them.

Me: Yes. They were tired from the journey but still jumped straight into the paddling pool when we got home.

Nell: You’re very happy.

Me: It’s wonderful having them here.

Nell: I wish I could be there with you.

Me: We miss you, Nell. But you’re in our thoughts.

Nell: I know. Is that Faye with Nigel?

Me: Yes. He was very pleased to see her.

Nell: Nigel is a guest. Faye should be cuddling David and Harriet.

Me: She is. Don’t worry. There are plenty of cuddles for everyone.

Nell: What are your plans today?

Me: Breakfast then Sunday Songs and a Sunday roast at the pub in the garden.

Nell: I’m afraid the Weather Guardians say it’s going to be rather cool and cloudy.

Me: Yes, we even had rain earlier.

Nell: Will Jonathan and Faye be singing at Sunday Songs?

Me: I’m not sure. They might be a little too tired.

Nell: Children are never too tired to sing.

Me: They might dance with the llamas.

Nell: You can be too tired to dance.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: Unless you’re a llama.

Me: Whatever happens it’s going to be a lovely Sunday.

Nell: So, go and enjoy yourself and stop chatting to me.

Me: I like chatting to you.

Nell: You can chat to me any time. Off you go. The family are waiting.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: You’re all awake early. Overexcited by any chance?

Me: Very. Harriet wants us to leave for the station right now and Dave’s wearing his ring on his head again.

Nell: Are Alice and the grandchildren safely in London?

Me: Yes. They had an awful flight from Berlin. Lots of turbulence, both children had earache and drunken football fans.

Nell: Oh no.

Me: They didn’t get to the hotel until really late last night so I told them to take their time going to Paddington station this morning to catch the train down to Devon.

Nell: Do you think they will?

Me: I hope so as there’s no rush.

Nell: I’m not sure Harriet would agree.

Me: No. She seems to think we should be up and doing.

Nell: Is everything ready for the family?

Me: Almost. We’ve just got to make up the bunk beds.

Nell: I thought you already had.

Me: Nigel likes to sleep on the bottom one so we waited until this morning.

Nell: Nigel’s going to have to sleep on the floor like everyone else.

Me: Nobody sleeps on the floor, Nell. They are all on sofas, beds or armchairs.

Nell: Just stop dilly-dallying around and get that bunk bed made up now.

Me: You’re as bad as Harriet.

Nell: The Weather Guardians tell me it’s going to be another hot day although there might be a few clouds.

Me: We desperately need rain. I was watching the news and there are wild fires everywhere.

Nell: In Devon?

Me: No, in Canada and Scotland and France and Spain.

Nell: Try and concentrate on Devon for the time being, please. You can’t worry about everyone.

Me: I can.

Nell: Well, don’t. The family will be here soon and happy times are ahead.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

Nell: Are you ready for the family’s arrival?

Me: More or less.

Nell: Good. I need to talk to you about Nigel.

Me: Why?

Nell: David is being Left Out.

Me: When Nigel is visiting us he’s Kev’s shadow. He follows him around everywhere.

Nell: But David is Kev’s Best Boy.

Me: He knows that. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Does he really? Look at his face.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Quite. You need to do something about it.

Me: Nigel isn’t doing any harm, Nell.

Nell: Kev has to be shared. Nigel can’t monopolise him like that.

Me: No, you’re right.

Nell: Alice and the grandchildren are arriving tomorrow. They’re going to want to spend time with their grandfather.

Me: They are.

Nell: Without Nigel.

Me: I’m not sure completely excluding Nigel is the right thing to do.

Nell: It’s the only way.

Me: I think we can find a compromise.

Nell: Either way you need to explain to David that he is still Best Boy.

Me: What if Chris and Jonathan Sky feel excluded? Surely they’re Kev’s Best Boys?

Nell: Chris isn’t even visiting.

Me: At least Harriet knows she’s his Best Girl.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Apart from Alice and Faye, of course.

Nell: There is only one Best Girl for Kev.

Me: That’s kind of you but I’m not sure I qualify as a girl any longer.

Nell: I was talking about me. Kev and I had a very special bond.

Me: You did. You do.

Nell: I will always be his Best Girl.

Me: I’m not sure Poppy would agree.

Nell: Fine. Maybe there can be more than one.

Me: But then it’s not really Best, is it?

Nell: I need a cup of Earl Grey and a lie down.

Me: Sorry.

Nell: How was your afternoon tea at the Cottage Hotel?

Me: Lovely. It was wonderful to meet up with the other writers in person again. We usually only see each other on screen.

Nell: Yes.

Me: Hope Cove was looking beautiful as always.

Nell: I can see that from your photos.

Me: It really is a magical place.

Nell: Let’s hope you can manage to go there on retreat in November. It’s been a few years since you did.

Me: I know. It’s the cost of it.

Nell: Well, start saving.

Me: We’ll see.

Nell: Is that Harriet deep in contemplation?

Me: Yes. We call it Nell’s tree and she likes to sit there and look at the cows.

Nell: Why Nell’s tree?

Me: It’s a beautiful shady place to stop and think and if we could we’d love to put a bench there where people could rest for a while.

Nell: What a lovely idea.

Me: I’m fairly sure it wouldn’t be allowed but we always pause there to think of you.

Nell: I remember going there with you.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Have you any idea what Harriet was thinking about?

Me: Not really. Nigel is staying with us until Sunday so she might simply have been enjoying a break from those two boisterous boys.

Nell: Has she been eating any fish?

Me: I don’t think so.

Nell: Good. So what are the plans for the weekend?

Me: We’re having another barbecue on Saturday and this time I’ve ordered some prawns.

Nell: I don’t believe this.

Me: Prawns are gorgeous on the barbecue marinated in oil, garlic and chilli.

Nell: Dogs can’t eat garlic, or chilli.

Me: They’re not for the dogs.

Nell: I told you to stop eating fish.

Me: I’m never going to do that, Nell. Sorry.

Nell: What a beautiful sunset.

Me: Evening walks are particularly lovely at this time of year.

Nell: You need some rain.

Me: We really do, but maybe not when the family arrive.

Nell: I’m afraid the Weather Guardians tell me the weekend is exactly when it’s going to rain.

Me: Never mind. We’ll all be so happy to see each other again that we won’t care.

Nell: When exactly are Alice and the grandchildren arriving?

Me: Saturday lunchtime. Only three more sleeps to go.

Nell: Talking of sleeps, you’re awake very early again.

Me: I know I am. I just can’t get back to sleep.

Nell: It’s not surprising. You haven’t seen them since Christmas.

Me: The children will probably have grown.

Nell: Unlike you.

Me: Yes, I’ve lost a centimetre in height.

Nell: Well, you can’t afford to lose anymore.

Me: No, I can’t.

Nell: How is David? Still demanding to be hand-fed?

Me: No. Kev took over and he ate his breakfast nicely.

Nell: Was it a boiled egg and soldiers?

Me: No. Sardines on toast.

Nell: I told you to stop with the fish.

Me: A few sardines won’t hurt.

Nell: What about you?

Me: I didn’t have sardines for breakfast.

Nell: What about lunch?

Me: I’m having afternoon tea with the Wednesday Writers at the Cottage Hotel so I’m skipping lunch.

Nell: You’re going to Hope Cove?

Me: Yes, I am.

Nell: My favourite place.

Me: I know.

Nell: Without me.

Me: I’d take you with me if I could. I haven’t really visited the Cottage Hotel much since you left us.

Nell: It’s high time you went there again then, isn’t it?

Me: Yes.

Nell: It will always be our favourite place whether I’m with you or not. So enjoy yourself.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

Me: We need to talk about Dave.

Nell: He’s not back on the fish again, is he?

Me: No, but he’s turning into a bit of a diva.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: He wants me to hand-feed him.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: He likes it if I give him his food from my hand.

Nell: I know what hand- feeding is. Unbelievable.

Me: If I don’t do it, he likes me to say ‘Good Boy’ while he eats.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Kev says it’s nonsense and I should ignore it.

Nell: Kev’s right.

Me: He thinks Dave might be a little bit spoilt.

Nell: What do you think?

Me: He’s my Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: David is taking advantage of you.

Me: He caught a pheasant yesterday with a soft mouth and let it go.

Nell: I expect the pheasant was relieved.

Me: It was. But it shows he can be a very good boy.

Nell: When he wants to be.

Me: Yes.

Nell: The hand-feeding needs to stop. He’s not a llama.

Me: They do enjoy a carrot.

Nell: I think all the attention from the Beefies has gone to his head.

Me: Maybe. Or he’s missing the fish?

Nell: What?

Me: I’m considering offering him sardines on toast for breakfast.

Nell: Hand-fed?

Me: It’s the easiest way.

Nell: What did you have for dinner yesterday?

Me: Smoked haddock fish cakes. They were delicious.

Nell: And what about this evening?

Me: Tuna pasta.

Nell: And tomorrow?

Me: I rather fancy some cod.

Nell: They’ve got you, too.

Me: What are you talking about?

Nell: You’ve gone all fishy and now you’re turning David into a diva.

Me: Don’t be silly.

Nell: Stop eating fish and spoiling David.

Me: I don’t want to. Sorry.

Nell: This is not the way I wanted to start my week.

Me: What do you mean?

Nell: With photos of Nigel and that wretched cat.

Me: He’s not a wretched cat. He’s Xav the Cat. He’s extremely handsome and he’s Nigel’s best friend.

Nell: He’s a cat.

Me: I thought you’d got over your annoyance with Nigel.

Nell: Who has a cat as a best friend?

Me: You did.

Nell: The Cat is different. It’s unique amongst cats.

Me: Everyone is unique, if you think about it.

Nell: Don’t start all that.

Me: Just saying. You sound a bit grumpy this morning. Did you sleep well?

Nell: Watching over you all can be a little tiring at times.

Me: I thought you were just watching over me?

Nell: I am, most of the time.

Me: But not last night?

Nell: No. Last night I checked on Alice and the grandchildren and then I had to check in on Chris, Shannon and Marvin because of the wildfires.

Me: They’re all fine. We FaceTimed yesterday.

Nell: I know you did but I needed to see for myself.

Me: Did it involve flying?

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Did you have to fly to Germany and then over to Canada?

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: I don’t know how it works.

Nell: Obviously not.

Me: I thought you might have wings.

Nell: Wings? I’m a Labrador, not a bird.

Me: But you’re a Guardian.

Nell: If you must know I just have to think very hard about you.

Me: And then you part the clouds and look down?

Nell: Good grief.

Me: It’s what I imagine happens.

Nell: Imagine what you like, just know that you are all being watched over.

Me: Through the clouds?

Nell: Enough.

Me: Sorry.