Nell: You’re up early.

Me: It’s Wednesday Writers.

Nell: David’s looking a little low.

Me: He’s missing Sally. He hasn’t seen her for weeks.

Nell: Someone should tell her to visit him.

Me: I’m not sure I can. Sally’s an independent Golden Retriever.

Nell: You might not be able to but I know someone who can.

Me: Who?

Nell: Charlie. He was a secret agent in the past and he’s been keeping a careful eye on Sally for years.

Me: How quickly can he get a message to her?

Nell: He already did.

Me: But we’ve only just discussed Dave’s lowness.

Nell: You told me he was crying yesterday.

Me: Yes, about the bone.

Nell: I thought it was that, too, but Charlie wasn’t sure and he told Sally.

Me: How?

Nell: Never you mind. We Guardians have our little ways.

Me: Like white feathers?

Nell: Maybe.

Me: And robins?

Nell: Possibly.

Me: And a parking space just when you thought you’’d never find one?

Nell: I couldn’t possibly say.

Me: I hope Sally listens to Charlie.

Nell: She will.

Me: Because Dave is feeling really down.

Nell: I know. Talking of parking spaces, are there any available near your house?

Me: A few. Why?

Nell: Just wondering.

Me: Oh, there’s one less now. A red car just pulled in.

Nell: A red car?

Me: Yes. I don’t recognise it.

Nell: Don’t you?

Me: It must be someone visiting.

Nell: I agree.

Me: You’re not going to believe this.

Nell: I might.

Me: It’s Sally in the red car.

Nell: Well, well. Knock me down with a white feather.

Me: You and Charlie organised this, didn’t you?

Nell: Just go and open the front door. There’s a beautiful Golden Retriever outside waiting to surprise her handsome Labrador.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Good morning.

Nell: You sound tired.

Me: Dave and Harriet had a disagreement about a wretched bone first thing this morning and woke me up.

Nell: A bone?

Me: One of those you can lick the inside out of. You used to love them.

Nell: I’d have preferred a selection of sandwiches, crusts off, a piece of lemon drizzle cake and a nice flask of Earl Grey tea.

Me: Is Poppy making you a picnic?

Nell: How did you know?

Me: I guessed.

Nell: Charlie and I are taking a trip up into the mountains and Poppy thought a picnic might be just the thing.

Me: Hold on one moment. Did you just say mountains?

Nell: I did.

Me: You can’t really have mountains, Nell.

Nell: I’ve told you this before. We have everything. We both looked at the sky this morning and thought a walk in the mountains might be exactly what we needed.

Me: Will there be Edelweiss?

Nell: Probably.

Me: Will you be singing?

Nell: Definitely. But I shall not be dressed as a nun.

Me: Fair enough.

Nell: So, why were the Puppies arguing?

Me: Harriet brought her bone upstairs and fell asleep next to it and Davey thought he could finish it for her.

Nell: Don’t call him Davey, please. He’s a mature animal.

Me: He’s my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Nevertheless. I’m presuming Harriet wasn’t best pleased to find her brother had stolen her bone.

Me: She wasn’t. She doesn’t get angry very often but when she does then she does.

Nell: I remember. Where are they now?

Me: Harriet is upstairs enjoying her bone and Dave is downstairs crying.

Nell: Crying?

Me: It’s heartbreaking.

Nell: He’s just whining because he wants something he can’t have. Ignore him.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Is that dear Marvin in Toronto?

Me: Yes, he’s helping Shannon and Chris make Muskoka chairs on the deck at his new house.

Nell: Muskoka chairs?

Me: Apparently there’s a district in Ontario called Muskoka and the chairs are famous.

Nell: I see.

Me: A Muskoka chair is a deeply reclined wooden or plastic outdoor lounge chair featuring a fan-shaped back, sloping seat, and exceptionally wide armrests.

Nell: You looked that up.

Me: I did.

Nell: You didn’t need to. We could see what it’s going to look like from the photo.

Me: Alright, Smarty Pants.

Nell: Why has Marvin got his head in a box?

Me: He’s practising being a Maildog.

Nell: What are you talking about?

Me: It’s their mail box and he’s going to collect the letters.

Nell: Not a good idea.

Me: Why?

Nell: Letters and parcels can be easily and almost unintentionally chewed.

Me: Almost unintentionally?

Nell: An animal can get carried away in the excitement.

Me: I see what you mean.

Nell: Marvin may need to find a different job.

Me: Maybe he could just check it’s empty at the end of the day?

Nell: What if it isn’t?

Me: True.

Nell: Moving on, the Weather Guardians tell me you can expect rain today.

Me: We had some first thing this morning.

Nell: Are you going to your aqua class?

Me: Of course. You’re not about to tell me not to get wet, are you? Only that would be a little odd.

Nell: You can’t jump around in a pool and not get wet.

Me: Yes, that’s what I meant.

Nell: But you can get wet clothes in the rain and putting on wet clothes after a swim is not pleasant at all.

Me: You’re right.

Nell: I usually am.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Good morning. The Weather Guardians tell me you’re in for a lovely sunny day.

Me: Something fishy is going on.

Nell: Could we start with ‘Good Morning’?

Me: I’m not sure it is a Good Morning. Nigel and Harriet are Lurking Around.

Nell: Lurking Around?

Me: With guilty faces.

Nell: Nigel might look guilty but Harriet doesn’t.

Me: She’s probably secretly spying on Nigel.

Nell: Why would she be doing that?

Me: It’s got something to do with Swedish Meatballs.

Nell: Swedish Meatballs?

Me: We had them for dinner last night and there were some left over so we put them in the fridge.

Nell: Let me guess, now they’re not there?

Me: Correct. Just an empty bowl.

Nell: I hate it when people do that.

Me: So do I. If you’re going to eat something don’t put the empty container back in the fridge.

Nell: Where’s David?

Me: He’s still asleep.

Nell: Eating by Mistake can make you very tired.

Me: I see what you did there.

Nell: David is the obvious suspect.

Me: But why all the Lurking Around?

Nell: You’re going to say I’m biased, but my biscuits are on Nigel as the culprit.

Me: You mean money.

Nell: We don’t have money up here. We don’t need it.

Me: Never mind. It’s a saying.

Nell: Nigel stole the Swedish Meatballs and David has been falsely accused.

Me: Dave hasn’t been accused of anything yet.

Nell: And he never will be.

Me: How do you know that?

Nell: Because Harriet’s on the case. She knows Nigel is guilty and she’s gathering evidence.

Me: I think you might be right.

Nell: So, make sure you wear a hat to Sunday Songs and let Harriet solve the case. Can I have a ‘Good Morning’ now?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: What is going on there?

Me: Nigel is sitting with Kev and Dave is feeling a little left out.

Nell: Nigel is gloating.

Me: Nigel isn’t gloating.

Nell: He is. Look at his face.

Me: He’s just happy to be with Uncle.

Nell: David is Kev’s Best Boy.

Me: I know he is.

Nell: Not Nigel.

Me: Of course not. But I knew Nigel would cheer Kev up. He always does.

Nell: Did they go to the pub for a pint?

Me: No. Kev’s not well enough. They went for a lovely long walk.

Nell: And David?

Me: Dave and Harriet went for a lovely longer walk, actually.

Nell: Good. I can’t have their place in the family usurped by an interloper.

Me: Nigel isn’t an interloper, Nell. Dave and Harriet are safe and secure.

Nell: Not according to David’s face.

Me: He’s just a bit jealous. You were the same.

Nell: I wasn’t jealous. I just didn’t like Nigel.

Me: We know. You didn’t disguise it.

Nell: Anyway, how was the Chinese takeaway? Did David use chopsticks?

Me: No, he didn’t.

Nell: Good. I’m glad you listened to me.

Me: We had an Indian takeaway.

Nell: Why?

Me: Chinese is Kev’s favourite but he felt too unwell so Charlotte and I had an Indian instead.

Nell: Dogs can’t eat Indian food. It’s too spicy.

Me: I know.

Nell: So, you let them all sit there hopefully with their bowls and chopsticks and gave them nothing to eat?

Me: They had dog biscuits.

Nell: Dog biscuits? For dinner? Poppy isn’t going to believe this.

Me: They’re dogs, Nell. They shouldn’t eat Chinese food either.

Nell: Why order it?

Me: Because sometimes it’s not only about you dogs.

Nell: I can’t believe you just said that.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

Me: Look at my darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Isn’t he the handsomest hound you ever saw?

Nell: David is not a hound. He’s a pedigree Labrador.

Me: He’s gorgeous.

Nell: You’re up early again.

Me: Yes. Kev’s still not well.

Nell: Oh dear.

Me: He went to see the doctor yesterday and they’ve had to put him on another course of antibiotics but they have nasty side effects.

Nell: He must be very tired of all this.

Me: He’s absolutely exhausted.

Nell: David seems a little exhausted, too.

Me: He’s just fed up with it all. He doesn’t like it when someone is ill. Especially Kev.

Nell: None of us do.

Me: I’m hoping Nigel might lift Kev’s spirits.

Nell: Nigel?

Me: Yes. He’s coming to visit us for the weekend.

Nell: A visit from Nigel wouldn’t lift my spirits.

Me: We all know that, Nell. You made your feelings quite clear when you were still with us.

Nell: I am still with you.

Me: You know what I mean.

Nell: Have you been feeding Kev fish?

Me: Not every day. We had a delicious vegetarian pasta courtesy of Stanley Smoochy with lots of garlic and courgettes.

Nell: Garlic and courgettes? The man needs meat.

Me: James Beddall won’t like you saying that.

Nell: It’s true.

Me: Herr Hoffmann is taking Frau Hoffmann to the cinema this evening so we’re having a Chinese takeaway and I expect Kev will choose his favourite beef dish.

Nell: Beef in black bean sauce?

Me: You know him so well.

Nell: Don’t let David use chopsticks again, please. You know the mess he makes.

Me: But he loves it so much, Nell, and it makes me laugh.

Nell: Just because it makes you laugh doesn’t mean David should do it.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Harriet has a Don’t Care Attitude this morning.

Nell: What on earth are you talking about?

Me: Look at her face and her nonchalantly crossed paws.

Nell: She looks just like Harriet.

Me: But does she look sorry to you?

Nell: Not particularly. No.

Me: Exactly.

Nell: So, you think she should be looking sorry?

Me: Yes, I do.

Nell: What happened?

Me: I made my bed with fresh pillows and duvet covers and then covered it in my favourite blanket.

Nell: And?

Me: And I left the room and when I came back Harriet was in the middle of the bed with the pillows and the duvet thrown everywhere and the blanket on the floor.

Nell: She was probably just making a nest.

Me: In my clean bed.

Nell: Was she sorry?

Me: A little bit but she’s already forgotten. I can tell.

Nell: She’s right. It’s best not to dwell on these things.

Me: I had a lovely fresh bed and now it’s full of woodland paws.

Nell: These things happen.

Me: And Harriet is looking at me like I’ve done something wrong.

Nell: Did you shout?

Me: Only briefly. Anyone would have done.

Nell: Shouting is unpleasant.

Me: Yes, it is.

Nell: I’m not surprised Harriet went downstairs and is keeping out of your way.

Me: I was so looking forward to my lovely fresh bed.

Nell: Stop moaning. It’s just a bed and beds can be changed.

Me: That’s what I just did.

Nell: Go and give Harriet a cuddle. It will make you feel better.

Me: Will it?

Nell: Yes. You know you were grumpy and she didn’t mean any harm.

Me: I suppose I do.

Nell: And shut the door after you’ve made the bed or it will happen again.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: You’re up early.

Me: I’ve got a busy mind at the moment.

Nell: Do you know why?

Me: Not really.

Nell: What’s Nigel doing out on our walk in the middle of the week?

Me: He came for a brief visit.

Nell: Nigel visits at the weekend.

Me: Nigel is welcome any time. Anyway, look what the farmer’s tractor has done to the path down to the stream.

Nell: It’s probably the only way for the farmer to get to the field.

Me: That’s what Kev said.

Nell: Horses are the same. Churning up the earth with their hooves.

Me: They’re allowed. It’s a bridleway. Do you remember when the hunt went past us on the lane?

Nell: I certainly do.

Me: I held my hands over your eyes so you didn’t get scared.

Nell: The hounds bothered me more than the horses.

Me: Poppy tried to chase a horse once.

Nell: Poppy is afraid of nothing.

Me: She used to bark at cows.

Nell: She still does if they don’t deliver her milk on time. And yes, we have Cow Guardians.

Me: Jim the Farm Dog brought us some lovely farmhouse butter and cheese yesterday.

Nell: He was always a helpful animal. Poppy’s started making her own cheese.

Me: Goodness me.

Nell: She likes to keep busy. I expect Harriet was pleased to see Jim.

Me: She was. He gave her a bouquet of wild flowers.

Nell: Where were David and Harriet? I can’t see them in the photos.

Me: They went on an extra long walk with Kev.

Nell: At least everything is looking a little greener.

Me: Yes, we’ve had rain most days.

Nell: Is your busy mind a little calmer now?

Me: It is. Thank you.

Nell: I’m always here, you know.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: You remember you said you know everything?

Nell: I do.

Me: Well, there’s something exciting I’ve been keeping a secret that you don’t know.

Nell: I very much doubt it. But it’s 1st September so let’s share the website where people can support your writing with a cup of Earl Grey.

Me: I thought you’d want to know my secret.

Nell: Just share the link first, please. You need the support.

Me: It’s https://buymeacoffee.com/saramartin. Thank you so much in advance.

Nell: So, why have you posted your favourite photo of me with Alice?

Me: Back in July Alice had some exciting news which was too early to share with anyone.

Nell: I’m not anyone.

Me: I really couldn’t share it.

Nell: Is it about her doctorate in education?

Me: No, although she’s had another article published so she’s a step closer.

Nell: Tell me.

Me: Alice’s having another baby.

Nell: A baby?

Me: Next February and it’s a boy.

Nell: This is very exciting.

Me: Another grandson.

Nell: I’m presuming he wasn’t planned.

Me; Definitely not. Faye is 7 and Jonathan will be 10 this month.

Nell: On the 19th September. I remember it well.

Me: Don’t we all.

Nell: Do the children know?

Me: Yes and they’re looking forward to welcoming a little brother into the family.

Nell: Does he have a name yet?

Me: Baby Bear.

Nell: Bear?

Me: I love it. Jonathan was Lentil and Faye was Baby Snail.

Nell: And this little chap is Baby Bear?

Me: Yes, he is and I can’t wait to meet him.

Nell: Alice is going to be 42 in October.

Me: I know. The doctors are taking great care of her. Don’t worry.

Nell: But I do, and you should have told me.

Me: It was too early. Sorry.

Nell: That’s Marvin in Toronto.

Me: It is. Chris and Shannon have moved into their new house and Marvin is slowly getting used to it.

Nell: Rescue dogs don’t like changes.

Me: I don’t think any dogs do, but rescue dogs find it particularly difficult.

Nell: Unfortunately I’m unable to continue my mentoring on WoofsApp so please send him my love.

Me: I will.

Nell: He’ll need a little time to settle in but as long as Chris and Shannon are there he will be fine.

Me: Chris is hoping to fly over to see us here in the UK soon but he’s waiting until everything is safe and familiar for Marvin before he leaves.

Nell: A sensible decision. There’s also an awful lot to do when you move house.

Me: There certainly is. Kev and I were only just saying we wouldn’t want to go through it again any time soon.

Nell: How is Kev?

Me: Still very tired but finally off the antibiotics.

Nell: They seem to have done their job.

Me: Yes. He’ll have to go back to the doctor for check-ups but hopefully all is well now.

Nell: It’s been quite a few weeks.

Me: It has.

Nell: How was your roast beef?

Me: Delicious and the lovely thing is we get to have beef sandwiches for lunch.

Nell: You’ll be hungry after your aqua class.

Me: I know that’s your way of checking I’m going.

Nell: Are you?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Even though it’s a Bank Holiday?

Me: Carolyn is still doing the class.

Nell: Carolyn?

Me: Our instructor.

Nell: Don’t overdo it like you did last time.

Me: How do you know that?

Nell: I know everything.

Me: How can you?

Nell: Because I’m watching over you and you tell me.

Me: Yes. Sorry.