Me: It was lovely to see our old friends Terry and Marian yesterday, wasn’t it?
Nell: Yes, although David shouldn’t have climbed onto Marian’s lap.
Me: I’d rather discuss your behaviour.
Nell: Why?
Me: It was completely out of character.
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: Cuddling up to Terry like that.
Nell: I remember Terry from my Oxfordshire days as a puppy.
Me: You never cuddle anyone.
Nell: I do, occasionally.
Me: You were gazing lovingly into his eyes.
Nell: Nonsense.
Me: And when Harriet came over to join in you sent her away.
Nell: Did I?
Me: You said, ‘Off the cloth, moth.’
Nell: Oh yes.
Me: That was very rude.
Nell: I thought it was quite funny. Harriet didn’t mind.
Me: I hope not.
Nell: Moving on, I have some big news.
Me: Tell me.
Nell: The Beefies have reported a sighting of a bear and a seal.
Me: Really? Where?
Nell: Swimming in the sea.
Me: Are they sure it was Herr Hoffmann and Sir Roger?
Nell: The bear was wearing a hat and the seal was wearing a crown.
Me: Roger Blubbery shouldn’t be wearing a crown.
Nell: That’s not the point. And he’s a knight of the realm.
Me: Except he isn’t.
Nell: Anyway, according to the Beefies they were having a lovely time.
Me: How do they know?
Nell: The bear was singing.
Me: Really?
Nell: And throwing fish in the air.
Me: Was it mackerel?
Nell: Does it matter?
Me: I suppose not. Can we believe them?
Nell: Don’t worry. Henry and Horst are on the case.
Me: How?
Nell: They’re flying out there to see for themselves..
Me: But they’re woodlice, Nell. They don’t have wings.
Nell: They’re joining Owl Pacino and the Royal Owl Force. Do keep up.
Me: Sorry.
