Shocking Behaviour

Me: Why is Dave pushing your sofa away?

Nell: He doesn’t like it when I’m angry.

Me: What’s happened?

Nell: The Royal Terriers finally called me back.

Me: So, where are the Beefeaters?

Nell: There are no Beefeaters.

Me: Yes, there are, Nell.

Nell: I mean down here in Devon.

Me: Did they get lost?

Nell: They never left London.

Me: What about the letter?

Nell: It’s a forgery. The palace never sent it.

Me: Who did?

Nell: As Rupert pointed out at Morning Thoughts the clue is in the name.

Me: Now, I’m really confused.

Nell: Beef eaters.

Me: Still confused.

Nell: Who else has beef in their name?

Me: Are you talking about the Beefies?

Nell: Yes.

Me: The scoundrels. Is that why the letter was soggy?

Nell: It wasn’t soggy. It was stained.

Me: With sea water?

Nell: Yes. Henry and Horst tasted a little and confirmed our suspicions.

Me: They’re such brave and helpful woodlice.

Nell: They are.

Me: Do you think the Beefies told the Royal Terriers about Poppy knighting people too?

Nell: I’m sure of it. The palace received an anonymous letter.

Me: What a nasty thing to do.

Nell: Despicable.

Me: Does Poppy know?

Nell: She does. She’s determined to go down to the beach to confront them.

Me: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

Nell: I agree. Beefies are best ignored whenever possible. It infuriates them.

Me: What about the palace? Are they willing to let Poppy keep her sword?

Nell: Yes, on condition that she attends the sword awareness course.

Me: Is she going to go?

Nell: Yes, she is. Even if I have to take her there myself.

Me: I could take her, Nell. I did a fencing course in my youth.

Nell: Don’t be silly.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

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