Nell: What time do you call this? The birds haven’t even finished their breakfast.

Me: We have to catch an early train to get to the airport on time.

Nell: Did you just say ‘we’?

Me: I’m going back to Berlin with the family this time.

Nell: You’re doing no such thing.

Me: I am, Nell. Jonathan’s starting school and there’s going to be a big family celebration so Chris and I are flying to Berlin too.

Nell: Why didn’t you tell me?

Me: I did tell you a while ago, I just didn’t remind you.

Nell: I don’t know how I’m going to break this to the others.

Me: It’s not for long, Nell. I’ll be back next Sunday.

Nell: I expect regular updates.

Me: Of course. We’ll FaceTime.

Nell: I shall have my iBone switched on at all times and fully charged.

Me: I expected nothing less.

Nell: And I expect you to do the same.

Me: I will.

Nell: Kev won’t like this.

Me: He’s actually looking forward to doing his own thing for a week, to be honest.

Nell: Doing Your Own Thing can be fun at first but it doesn’t last.

Me: Good that you’re there to look after him then.

Nell: David and Harriet will take over the night shift and Poppy and I will cover the day.

Me: Make sure you get some rest.

Nell: There’s no time for that. We can’t all go swanning off across the world at a moment’s notice.

Me: It’s Germany, Nell, and the flights were booked months ago.

Nell: Including your return flight?

Me: Of course. I’ll be back Sunday evening. I promise.

Nell: You’d better be. And keep that phone switched on.

Me: Yes.

Nell: We’ll be fine. No need to worry.

Me: I know. Sorry.

Me: I can’t believe this is the last day of their holiday.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: The family are flying back to Berlin tomorrow.

Nell: But Chris only just arrived.

Me: I know.

Nell: We’re going to miss them very much.

Me: You are. The children have become part of your pack.

Nell: They joined in Morning Thoughts.

Me: And shared the milk left from their cereal.

Nell: Harriet accepted cuddles in the activity field because they came from Faye.

Me: Those two are best friends.

Nell: And Poppy even let Faye walk her on the lead.

Me: A little risky as she can be rather wild.

Nell: But she wasn’t.

Me: No. Poppy was astonishingly well behaved.

Nell: Dave is going to take this very hard.

Me: I know he is. He adores cuddles with the children and Chris is his soulmate.

Nell: They have always had an understanding.

Me: And what about you? Jonathan spent a lot of time with you this holiday.

Nell: Yes. He and I have bonded quite closely.

Me: I noticed. He told me you were a very special dog.

Nell: I think he’s a rather exceptional little boy.

Me: I agree. In fact both Jonathan and Faye remind me of Christopher Robin in different ways.

Nell: I don’t know any Christopher Robins.

Me: You do, Nell. He’s in my favourite books by AA Milne.

Nell: The one about that portly bear?

Me: Yes. Winnie the Pooh.

Nell: Obsessed with honey, I seem to recall. I favour marmalade, myself, but I suppose my opinion doesn’t count.

Me: Of course it does. You actually remind me of Eeyore sometimes when you’re having one of your Grumbly Days.

Nell: And who is Eeyore?

Me: A depressed donkey.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Sorry.

Me: It’s wonderful to have everyone together again, isn’t it?

Nell: Yes, although Poppy and Harriet might be in need of a quiet few moments.

Me: Why do you say that?

Nell: I found Poppy outside on the table this morning and Harriet pretending to be asleep on your garden chair.

Me: Bless them. I’m not surprised they’re a bit tired. It’s all been rather full on.

Nell: I didn’t appreciate being squished between the two children in the car yesterday.

Me: It was the only way you could come to the station to collect Chris.

Nell: It’s usually just me.

Me: I know but they wanted to come too and he was delighted to see them. They rushed into his arms and they’ve hardly left his side since.

Nell: David slept in Chris’s bed.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: I told him not to but he said nobody would notice.

Me; Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He thinks he’s small.

Nell: Well, he isn’t.

Me: Chris doesn’t mind.

Nell: David is supposed to sleep downstairs with me.

Me: He just needed a few extra cuddles.

Nell: I hope he remembers he’s opening the village fete this afternoon.

Me: I’m sure he does.

Nell: I heard him telling Chris they could go paddle boarding.

Me: They can go beforehand. They’ve got plenty of time. Knitwear Wolf could take them down to the beach on his motorbike.

Nell: The Mayor of Kingsbridge can’t turn up to address his public all salty-faced with sand between his claws.

Me: I don’t see why not.

Nell: His chain is already a little rusty.

Me: That’s because it’s a safety chain.

Nell: You do realise The Cat found marmalade in his feathers.

Me: Dave hasn’t got feathers.

Nell: His feathered hat. Do keep up.

Me: Sorry.

Nell: Would you try and calm down, please, and eat your breakfast.

Me: I can’t. Chris will be here soon.

Nell: We’ve got plenty of time to get to the station.

Me: I know. I’m just so excited to have everyone here at last.

Nell: Now, you’d better explain what’s happened with the competition.

Me: Yes. I contacted Diana who was really grateful to have won but would like to give the prize to someone else.

Nell: She just wants to support you and for you to keep writing.

Me: Yes. She was very kind.

Nell: So, Alice drew another name.

Me: She did. And the winner is Elizabeth Homewood.

Nell: Congratulations Elizabeth. Please contact Sara as she will need a photo of your dog.

Me: Or cat.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: It’s any animal, Nell.

Nell: Not a cat.

Me: Yes, or a hamster. It really doesn’t matter.

Nell: Anyway, Sara will need information about your animal so she can include it in a story.

Me: Elizabeth is going to be very surprised.

Nell: She is. I think we should run this competition again.

Me: I think you might be right but I’d want to give first, second and third prizes next time.

Nell: You just want everyone to win.

Me: I do. Chris just texted.

Nell: And?

Me: He got through security really quickly and managed to catch an earlier train.

Nell: That’s wonderful.

Me: He’s going to be here really soon.

Nell: Just drink your tea and eat your toast.

Me: I’m too excited to eat.

Nell: I suppose I could help you with that.

Me: How kind.

Nell: We Labradors are always eager to be of service.

Me: Especially when food is involved.

Nell: And what is that supposed to mean?

Me: Nothing. Sorry.

Me: Kev had a wonderful birthday.

Nell: Lower your voice, please. David is still resting.

Me: The line dancing was amazing. Even you joined in.

Nell: Rupert insisted.

Me: Nobody looks better in a cowboy hat than Knitwear Wolf.

Nell: I agree.

Me: The birthday cake was delicious.

Nell: Even if you could hardly see it under all those candles.

Me: The grandchildren insisted.

Nell: It took Kev quite some time to blow them out.

Me: We had a lovely lunch at the Cottage Hotel.

Nell: I wouldn’t know.

Me: And spent the afternoon on the beach building sandcastles and swimming in the sea.

Nell: Before enjoying a family dinner with us all under a gazebo adorned with bunting.

Me: It was perfect.

Nell: I thought the grandchildren’s treasure hunt was excellent.

Me: Yes, Jonathan drew a map that finally led Kev to the hidden treasure.

Nell: Which was a beautiful painted box with shells on it from the beach and Grandpa written on the top.

Me: It was so lovely that Kev decided to use it to put all the names of the people who had entered the competition inside it.

Nell: And at the end of the day we filmed him opening it and choosing the name.

Me: If you watch the video you will find out who won.

Nell: And if it is you please message Sara in the next 24 hours to claim your prize.

Me: Which is your animal featuring in a Conversations with Nell story

Nell: So, congratulations to the winner.

Me: Yes, and commiserations to everyone else but a huge thank you for taking part and contributing to the fundraiser.

Nell: Your support means a lot.

Me: I wish everyone could have won.

Nell: That’s not how a competition works.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: There’s an awful lot going on this morning.

Nell: It’s Kev’s birthday and the children have been awake for hours.

Me: Do I need cowboy boots?

Nell: Why?

Me: To line dance.

Nell: You’re not dancing without them. Have you reminded everyone the competition closes today.

Me: You just did.

Nell: I’ve written Kev a poem. Want to hear it?

Me: Yes, please.

Nell: ‘Bring out the cake

The balloons and the hats

Call all the animals

Except for the cats.’

Me: That’s a bit harsh

Nell: I wasn’t referring to The Cat. It’s family.

Me: Still not kind.

Nell: May I continue?

Me: Yes.

Nell: ‘Because today is the day

For celebration and joy

As we gather together

For our birthday boy.’

Me: Kev’s not a boy.

Nell: Age is irrelevant.

Me: Ok.

Nell: ‘Can it be true?

Are you quite sure?

Our best beloved Kev

Has turned 64?’

Me: Best beloved? What about me?

Nell: Stop interrupting.

‘Where are the llamas?

They need to stop gliding.

They’re wearing pyjamas

And why are they hiding?

Scared of balloons?

What nonsense is that?

You’ll be telling me next

They’re frightened of hats.

How do I begin

To know what to say?

How Kev is adored

By us all

Night and day.’

Me: Night and day?

Nell: Yes. Our love never wavers.

Me: It would be awful if it did. Just imagine caring about me in the morning and going off me by the evening.

Nell: We weren’t talking about you.

‘So Happy Birthday dear Kev

Husband, Grandpa and Father

Let’s all enjoy a quick bev,

Or some bacon if you’d rather.’

Me: A quick bev? You’ve never said that before.

Nell: Artistic licence. He’s Kev. He loves us and we love him. That’s all that matters.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Have you seen David? Gladys and the llamas need him to practise Kev’s birthday dance.

Me: I didn’t know there was a birthday dance.

Nell: Of course. Tomorrow at ten in the field. Line dancing at ten followed by bacon sandwiches at eleven. Do keep up.

Me: Right. Dave’s with Jonathan chatting about crabbing and how he didn’t even catch one.

Nell: You mean the trip to Dartmouth I didn’t go on.

Me: You were at your massage and hydrotherapy with Chloe. You couldn’t have gone.

Nell: It would have been nice to be asked.

Me: Chloe told Kev you fell asleep during your massage.

Nell: It’s been a busy time recently.

Me: It certainly has.

Nell: And it’s going to get busier with Kev’s birthday tomorrow and Chris arriving on Friday.

Me: I know. It’s all very exciting.

Nell: Tomorrow is also the last day of the competition.

Me: Yes.

Nell: So, are we going to discuss what happened last night? I know you have a vivid imagination but that was ridiculous.

Me: I was very tired. I’d done a lot of driving.

Nell: Yes. You went to bed early and then called down to Kev a few hours later to come upstairs quickly because there was a mouse eating an apple on the landing.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Or something bigger?

Me: I thought it might have been a rat.

Nell: And what was it?

Me: Jonathan’s socks rolled into a ball.

Nell: Which you realised when you put the light on.

Me: Kev and I couldn’t stop laughing. He said he kept wondering where the mouse had found an apple.

Nell: Absolute nonsense.

Me: We live on a farm, Nell. It could have been a mouse.

Nell: It was a pair of socks.

Me: I know. Sorry.

Me: I think Dave and Snoopy have the Monday morning blues. It’s a horrible rainy day out there.

Nell: It’s also still Sunday in Vancouver.

Me: Okay, Clever Clogs, but Snoopy still looks fed up.

Nell: That’s your fault.

Me: Why?

Nell: You keep forgetting to remind people about the fundraiser.

Me: Yes, I do.

Nell: And the competition closes on Wednesday, 16th.

Me: Which is Kev’s birthday.

Nell: I know it is and he’s going to be announcing the winner on Thursday.

Me: Of course.

Nell: So, if anyone would like their animal to have the chance to be included in a Conversations with Nell story please donate £25 or more to our fundraiser.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Well, give them the link then.

Me: Right. It’s https://gofund.me/42cc1159

Nell: Just to remind you we have the chance to turn these stories into an animated series for television.

Me: Please help us achieve this and thank you again to those of you who already donated. It means a lot.

Nell: Sara writes and posts a story every day and has been doing this for five years. Let’s make sure she keeps doing this for the next five too.

Me: That’s an awful lot of conversations.

Nell: Tell me about it.

Me: Writing is all I’ve ever really wanted to do since I was a child when I would entertain my little sisters Charlotte and Alex with my stories.

Nell: You’re thinking of Alex now, aren’t you?

Me: Yes. Sometimes it hits me afresh that she’s gone and I feel completely overwhelmed.

Nell: Grief comes in waves. You just have to go with it.

Me: Alex would have been so excited about the animation series. She knew it was my dream.

Nell: She still knows. Trust me.

Me: I hope so. Sorry.

Nell: Would you kindly show me those photos again, please?

Me: Of course. Lovely, aren’t they?

Nell: Who is that playing with my grandchildren?

Me: They’re my grandchildren, Nell. But never mind.

Nell: Who is it?

Me: Are you talking about Hazel and Sophie?

Nell: I know who Hazel is, but who is Sophie? And why is she in the river with my grandchildren without me?

Me: You don’t know Hazel. You met her by the river and you tried to chase her. Twice.

Nell: She was annoying me. Dancing around like a llama.

Me: She’s a friendly young whippet, Nell, and you are an elderly cranky Labrador. You never had a chance of catching her, by the way.

Nell: Never mind Hazel. Tell me about Sophie

Me: After you chased Hazel you were extremely tired, if you remember, so Kev decided to take you home to rest.

Nell: And?

Me: And Alice and I decided to stay so the children could play in the river.

Nell: And?

Me: And while the children were playing in the river we were joined by Sophie and her family.

Nell: Uninvited?

Me: The river is for everyone. I had a lovely chat with Sophie’s family. She’s a Briard and two years old.

Nell: I don’t care what Briard she is. I don’t like strange dogs playing with my grandchildren.

Me: She’s a French sheepdog, Nell, and really friendly. We all had a wonderful time together.

Nell: I should have been there too.

Me: You overdid it, Nell.

Nell: Moving on, Sunday Songs is about to begin and I’d like my family around me.

Me: We’re always going to be your family, Nell. There’s never any need to worry about that.

Nell: I nearly caught that whippet you know.

Me: No, you didn’t. Sorry.

Me: Why are we in the field?

Nell: I need a quiet talk with you alone.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Word has come to me that not only were you at the Cottage Hotel yesterday, without me again I hasten to add, but you were also photographed sitting on the beach like Mrs No Friends and swimming without a hat.

Me: It was cloudy, Nell. I was wrapped up and wearing my factor 50 suncream and Mrs No Friends is a bit harsh.

Nell: What about your hat?

Me: I took it off briefly when I was swimming in the sea.

Nell: And when you were with Faye.

Me: She needed a Granny cuddle and it had started raining.

Nell: All the more reason to wear a hat. Do you think the Welsh Corgi Choir could survive Sunday Songs without their hats?

Me: They survived being knocked down by a boulder so I don’t think being hatless in the rain is going to bother them.

Nell: You have to be careful.

Me: It was nearly 4pm. It’s the midday sun I need to avoid and it wasn’t even sunny.

Nell: I worry about you.

Me: The doctors told me I need to live my life and enjoying special times with the family is good for my well being.

Nell: You still need to be careful.

Me: Was Our Penguin spying on me again?

Nell: He might have been and it wasn’t spying. He’s part of your Protection Unit?

Me: Protection unit?

Nell: It’s a Land, Sea and Air operation.

Me: Seriously?

Nell: You don’t think I’m going to let you out and about unprotected, do you?

Me: You’ll be involving Henry and Horst next.

Nell: Why do you think I needed you to wear your hat?

Me: Of course. Sorry.