Nell: Would you kindly show me those photos again, please?
Me: Of course. Lovely, aren’t they?
Nell: Who is that playing with my grandchildren?
Me: They’re my grandchildren, Nell. But never mind.
Nell: Who is it?
Me: Are you talking about Hazel and Sophie?
Nell: I know who Hazel is, but who is Sophie? And why is she in the river with my grandchildren without me?
Me: You don’t know Hazel. You met her by the river and you tried to chase her. Twice.
Nell: She was annoying me. Dancing around like a llama.
Me: She’s a friendly young whippet, Nell, and you are an elderly cranky Labrador. You never had a chance of catching her, by the way.
Nell: Never mind Hazel. Tell me about Sophie
Me: After you chased Hazel you were extremely tired, if you remember, so Kev decided to take you home to rest.
Me: And Alice and I decided to stay so the children could play in the river.
Me: And while the children were playing in the river we were joined by Sophie and her family.
Me: The river is for everyone. I had a lovely chat with Sophie’s family. She’s a Briard and two years old.
Nell: I don’t care what Briard she is. I don’t like strange dogs playing with my grandchildren.
Me: She’s a French sheepdog, Nell, and really friendly. We all had a wonderful time together.
Nell: I should have been there too.
Me: You overdid it, Nell.
Nell: Moving on, Sunday Songs is about to begin and I’d like my family around me.
Me: We’re always going to be your family, Nell. There’s never any need to worry about that.
Nell: I nearly caught that whippet you know.
Me: No, you didn’t. Sorry.