Nell: I can’t believe you didn’t tell us.

Me: We didn’t want you to worry.

Nell: Kev has to go into hospital for an operation and you don’t tell us.

Me: It was a minor operation and he didn’t have to stay overnight.

Nell: The first we knew was seeing Kev going out of the door with a case and you with a huge bag of everything.

Me: I knew I would have to wait there all day and they might have had to keep him in so I took what I could.

Nell: What about us?

Me: Tony and Sue and Charlotte and Scarlett were on standby in case it took longer.

Nell: I can’t begin to tell you the worry we have been through.

Me: It wasn’t a bag of laughs at the hospital either.

Nell; Leaving me with a house full of butter.

Me: Yes, that was unfortunate. I didn’t know it was going to happen.

Nell: I have to say Knitwear Wolf was amazing. So calm and dependable.

Me: I had to tell someone.

Nell: You mean Rupert knew?

Me: Yes. I knew he’d look after you.

Nell: I see. He certainly got the house sorted. When the Whippets Institute minibus turned up I was so relieved.

Me: The Whippets Institute?

Nell: Yes. With mops and buckets and several flannels to clean that tiger’s feet.

Me: Did Beauregard mind?

Nell: He loved it. Stretched out in the kitchen like a king surrounded by cleaning whippets. Who wouldn’t enjoy that?

Me: I’m not sure everyone would. Anyway, the main thing is that the operation went well.

Nell: Yes.

Me: Kev will have to take it easy for the next few weeks.

Nell: That’s fine. We’ll get through this together. You and me. Always. Remember?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: We live in a beautiful place, don’t we?

Nell: We certainly do.

Me: The sea was sparkling away in the sunshine today.

Nell: It was.

Me: Watching you all enjoying yourselves is such a joy. It gladdens the soul.

Nell: What would gladden my soul is knowing who cut my toast into heart shapes this morning.

Me: Heart shapes?

Nell: Yes. And spread them with Poppy’s marmalade.

Me: You love Poppy’s marmalade.

Nell: I know I do, but I’m quite capable of spreading it on my toast myself.

Me: I think it’s rather romantic.

Nell: Stuff and nonsense.

Me: Was Knitwear Wolf at breakfast?

Nell: Rupert had an early breakfast with David. He had the papers to deliver and my friend Dorothy’s cousin caught a chill so he wanted to bring her a soft blanket.

Me: He is such a kind wolf.

Nell: Yes.

Me: Is that Dorothy the Salcombe Setter?

Nell: Yes? Of course it is.

Me: The one who sails?

Nell: All Salcombe Setters sail. It’s in their blood.

Me: Is that what Dorothy’s cousin was doing when she caught a chill?

Nell: Probably. Why are you so interested?

Me: I used to go sailing in my youth and it’s a lot colder and wetter than people think.

Nell: I know. I’m a member of the Salcombe Yacht Club.

Me: Oh yes. Anyway, was your toast cold?

Nell: Of course it was cold. It had been left on my plate.

Me: And was there anyone else around?

Nell: Only David having breakfast with that tiger and Oliver.

Me: I thought you said Dave had breakfast with Knitwear Wolf.

Nell: David has to have at least two breakfasts at the moment.

Me: Why?

Nell: Tony is on holiday for 2 weeks. Do keep up.

Me: Oh yes. Sorry.

Nell: You are not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: It’s absolutely outrageous.

Me: Has it got something to do with the slippery floor?

Nell: It certainly has.

Me: Only I nearly went flying just now and Manuel can’t get across the kitchen. He just slides around. It’s hilarious.

Nell: Well, Gladys is making the most of it. She’s been Gliding with Alejandro since first thing this morning.

Me: They’re awfully good.

Nell: Who do they think they are? Torvill and Dean?

Me: The llamas cheered.

Nell: What are they doing in the kitchen? I hope they are wearing pyjamas.

Me: Yes, and dressing gowns.

Nell: David and Oliver are to blame for this, you know.

Me: Surely not. I just saw Dave sitting quietly in the yellow chair.

Nell: David is Faking Ignorance.

Me: Are you sure?

Nell: Yes. I know when an animal is pretending. Anyway, Oliver can’t have done this on his own.

Me: Done what?

Nell: Buttered Beauregard’s paws.

Me: Beauregard the tiger?

Nell: How many Beauregards do you know?

Me: Why on earth would they butter a tiger’s paws.

Nell: They want him to stay.

Me: Here?

Nell: Yes. You know you are supposed to butter a cat’s paws if you don’t want them to stray?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Well, that’s what they’ve done.

Me: But Beauregard is a tiger.

Nell: He’s still a cat. Albeit an exceptionally big one.

Me: That’s awfully clever. No wonder my Big Brave Beautiful Boy is looking pleased with himself.

Nell: He has no right to be. The floor is all buttery.

Me: Beauregard didn’t mean to make a mess.

Nell: You won’t mind a buttery bed then.

Me: What?

Nell: That tiger is asleep on your bed. Still think it’s awfully clever?

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Why is Harriet sitting in the doorway?

Nell: She’s waiting for Tony.

Me: That’s pointless. Tony is on holiday for the next two weeks.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: I told you.

Nell: You did not. If you’d told me I would have put it in my diary and marked it on the calendar.

Me: I thought I did.

Nell: I don’t know how I’m expected to run this household if I’m not kept properly informed.

Me: You probably weren’t listening. You know what you’re like. You have Selective Hearing.

Nell: Would you pass the marmalade, please?

Me: See, you’re doing it again.

Nell: And the butter.

Me: Whenever it’s something you don’t want to hear you pretend not to.

Nell: Somebody has left a paw print in the butter. A small paw, so it might be Oliver, although what an opossum was doing with butter I dread to think.

Me: Making a sandwich?

Nell: Possibly. I suppose we should be thankful that tiger wasn’t making the sandwich or we wouldn’t have any butter left at all.

Me: So, you can hear me again? Why is Harriet waiting for Tony?

Nell: She wants to apologise for the ice cream incident.

Me: She was rather naughty.

Nell: What on earth am I going to do about David?

Me: Dave hasn’t been naughty.

Nell: When he hears Tony is going to be away for 2 weeks he will be devastated.

Me: Dave is devastated if Kev goes to the village shop.

Nell: David likes his people to stay close. You really should have told me about this, you know.

Me: What can we do? Call Sally?

Nell: Yes, we need to talk to her about Beauregard anyway. I just hope we have some bacon in the house.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Are you all comfortable enough? I wouldn’t want to disturb your lie-in.

Nell: Yes, thank you. It is Sunday morning.

Me: I know.

Nell: Sundays are for rest and recuperation.

Me: Would you like me to bring you some tea?

Nell: That would be lovely. And a small piece of shortbread, perhaps? If there’s any left after that tiger has been at it.

Me: Are you talking about Beauregard?

Nell: I don’t know why you keep asking me that? Of course I’m talking about Beauregard. Unless he’s been joined by another tiger in which case I’m moving out.

Me: I didn’t know tigers liked shortbread.

Nell: They like everything. He’s a terrible influence on David, you know.

Me: Both puppies certainly seem tired. Bless them.

Nell: That’s because they were dancing until gone midnight.

Me: So that’s why Gladys and the llamas were looking a little subdued at Sunday Songs.

Nell: Llamas don’t do early mornings. I hope they were wearing their dressing gowns. It’s rather chilly for June.

Me: Did you join in the dancing at all?

Nell: Why?

Me: You look a little tired yourself.

Nell: I might have managed a brief foxtrot with Knitwear Wolf but nothing more.

Me: Very interesting.

Nell: What’s that supposed to mean?

Me: Nothing.

Nell: Rupert is an excellent dancer and it would have been rude to refuse.

Me: Of course it would.

Nell: Stop smiling. Where is that tiger going in a top hat?

Me: To join in Sunday Songs. It really suits him, doesn’t it? Look at little Oliver on his back waving at everyone.

Nell: Are those sequins waving too?

Me: No. It’s Henry and Horst in shiny waistcoats.

Nell: Woodlice in waistcoats? Whatever next?

Me: Well, Beauregard just took out his trumpet.

Nell: Good grief.

Me: Sorry.

Nell: I think we should discuss Tony’s visit yesterday.

Me: It was lovely to see him, wasn’t it?

Nell: Yes, but I’m talking about the behaviour of certain animals.

Me: I agree. Harriet was not well behaved.

Nell: No, she wasn’t.

Me: But my Big Brave Beautiful Boy covered himself in glory.

Nell: As opposed to ice cream. Yes, David showed admirable restraint.

Me: That moment when Dave looked at the ice cream and then at Tony and decided Tony was the one he loved more.

Nell: Yes, I’m extremely impressed with him.

Me: I’m so glad we were able to offer some comfort, Nell. I noticed you were looking after Tony too.

Nell: Of course. I’m afraid it was only Harriet that let the side down. Trying to steal his ice cream. Appalling behaviour.

Me: Ice cream can do that to you, Nell. Especially on a hot day.

Nell: Have you seen the latest?

Me: No.

Nell: You are not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: Beauregard came out of the tree house.

Me: Good.

Nell: With Oliver on his back.

Me: An opossum riding a tiger? I wish I’d seen that.

Nell: You can. Go into the kitchen. They are both eating bacon sandwiches with David.

Me: And Oliver is still on his back?

Nell: Yes. Beauregard doesn’t seem to mind at all. In fact I would go so far as to say he encourages it.

Me: Gosh. Well, that’s going to make Oliver feel a lot braver.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: No one is going to startle you if you are riding a tiger.

Nell: I suppose not. Although, you might startle them.

Me: I wonder if Beauregard would let me ride on his back.

Nell: Stop right now.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: I know this is a sad time but we must also look forward and celebrate the happy things in our lives.

Me: And one of the really happy things is our dear little Marvin.

Nell: Yes. Marvin is 2 today and since being rescued by Chris and Shannon he has been living a wonderful life in Toronto in Canada.

Me: Yes. Look at him enjoying the sunshine. Darling pup.

Nell: He is not a pup. He is a young dog.

Me: He’ll always be a pup to me.

Nell: Marvin is coming along really well with his studies. He has been attending my zoom classes regularly and is working very hard on becoming a little braver.

Me: I know he can feel easily scared.

Nell: Unfortunately this is something that a lot of rescue dogs have to deal with in their lives. Dear Mutley often told us of his struggles in the early years.

Me: But love can change everything and look at Marvin now. So shiny and smiley.

Nell: Shiny and smiley? Good grief.

Me: Anyway, Happy Birthday darling Marvin from us all.

Nell: Yes, Happy Birthday.

Me: On another note I know Tony and Sue would like me to thank you all for your kind words. They really do mean a lot.

Nell: Yes. It is important at times like these to know you are not alone.

Me: We have such wonderful followers, don’t we?Our world is a happy, loving place and I am so happy that you all have joined us in it.

Nell: Talking of joining us, you do realise that tiger is still in the tree house, don’t you?

Me: Do you mean Beauregard?

Nell: Of course I do. How many tigers do you think there are sitting in trees in Devon?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: We have some very sad news for you today.

Me: Yes, we do. I can hardly believe it.

Nell: Yesterday Tony and his wife Sue lost their beloved dog Ollie.

Me: He had been unwell for some time with sickness and a cough.

Nell: Yesterday during an exploratory operation the vets found tumours in his throat. Unfortunately he was too weak to cope any longer and he died on the operating table.

Me: There was nothing anybody could have done.

Nell: Tony, Sue and their family are devastated at this sudden loss.

Me: It is so very sad. Ollie was their darling boy and they loved him dearly.

Nell: Yes.

Me: We only saw him a few weeks ago when we were filming the Old Gaffers down at The Cottage Hotel.

Nell: Yes. I’m glad they came over last night and we were able to offer them some comfort.

Me: So am I. You were very kind to Tony. Cuddling up to him and keeping him close. You are normally so reserved.

Nell: I know when someone needs me.

Me: Dave just covered them both in love. You all did.

Nell: That’s what we do best.

Me: Please join us by sending Tony and Sue your support and the strength to get through this.

Nell: I know Ollie was only with them for a short time but it was a very happy one.

Me: Yes, it was. He was such a cheerful boy.

Nell: Now Ollie is no longer in any pain and is watching over them as their Guardian.

Me: He was so young, Nell. Just two years old.

Nell: And that is why Mutley is with him, along with his brother Milo and Seamus. He is not alone. They are there too.

Me: You are right. Sorry.

Me: A visit from Tony was just what Dave needed.

Nell: Yes. It never fails to lift all our spirits.

Me: Did Dave tell Tony about Beauregard?

Nell: Yes. Tony said he shouldn’t be worrying about tigers when the Beefies are behaving so badly.

Me: What have they done now?

Nell: Vandalised the signs.

Me: What signs?

Nell: ‘Please do not feed the seagulls.‘

Me: I know that, Nell. I never feed them.

Nell: No. The signs. They’ve crossed out the ‘not’.

Me: The rascals.

Nell: The tourists are all sharing their ice creams and chips with them.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: My friend Dorothy saw a couple of Beefies enjoying a cream tea with a visiting family of Afghan hounds down at Hope Cove.

Me: Shocking behaviour.

Nell: They dropped cream in their hair.

Me: Beefies don’t have hair.

Nell: No. The Afghans’ hair.

Me: I hope it was cream, Nell. Only you know how messy Beefies can be.

Nell; Let’s not go there.

Me: No.

Nell: And David saw a whole group of Beefies enjoying pizza with the surfers at Bantham Beach.

Me: Gosh. Although, do you know what?

Nell: What?

Me: It might actually be a good thing.

Nell: How exactly?

Me: Well, the Beefies have always had to steal their treats. Maybe if they’re given them they will become nicer and change their ways.

Nell: In that case you won’t mind having your prawn sandwich without the prawns.

Me: Without the prawns it would just be plain bread.

Nell: You had better stop Manuel then, because the last time I saw him he was heading into the garden with a bowl of prawns.

Me: But I was really looking forward to my sandwich.

Nell: What about changing the Beefies’ ways?

Me: I’ve changed my mind. Sorry.