Pointless Waiting

Me: Why is Harriet sitting in the doorway?

Nell: She’s waiting for Tony.

Me: That’s pointless. Tony is on holiday for the next two weeks.

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: I told you.

Nell: You did not. If you’d told me I would have put it in my diary and marked it on the calendar.

Me: I thought I did.

Nell: I don’t know how I’m expected to run this household if I’m not kept properly informed.

Me: You probably weren’t listening. You know what you’re like. You have Selective Hearing.

Nell: Would you pass the marmalade, please?

Me: See, you’re doing it again.

Nell: And the butter.

Me: Whenever it’s something you don’t want to hear you pretend not to.

Nell: Somebody has left a paw print in the butter. A small paw, so it might be Oliver, although what an opossum was doing with butter I dread to think.

Me: Making a sandwich?

Nell: Possibly. I suppose we should be thankful that tiger wasn’t making the sandwich or we wouldn’t have any butter left at all.

Me: So, you can hear me again? Why is Harriet waiting for Tony?

Nell: She wants to apologise for the ice cream incident.

Me: She was rather naughty.

Nell: What on earth am I going to do about David?

Me: Dave hasn’t been naughty.

Nell: When he hears Tony is going to be away for 2 weeks he will be devastated.

Me: Dave is devastated if Kev goes to the village shop.

Nell: David likes his people to stay close. You really should have told me about this, you know.

Me: What can we do? Call Sally?

Nell: Yes, we need to talk to her about Beauregard anyway. I just hope we have some bacon in the house.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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