Me: Why is Harriet sitting in the doorway?
Nell: She’s waiting for Tony.
Me: That’s pointless. Tony is on holiday for the next two weeks.
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: I told you.
Nell: You did not. If you’d told me I would have put it in my diary and marked it on the calendar.
Me: I thought I did.
Nell: I don’t know how I’m expected to run this household if I’m not kept properly informed.
Me: You probably weren’t listening. You know what you’re like. You have Selective Hearing.
Nell: Would you pass the marmalade, please?
Me: See, you’re doing it again.
Nell: And the butter.
Me: Whenever it’s something you don’t want to hear you pretend not to.
Nell: Somebody has left a paw print in the butter. A small paw, so it might be Oliver, although what an opossum was doing with butter I dread to think.
Me: Making a sandwich?
Nell: Possibly. I suppose we should be thankful that tiger wasn’t making the sandwich or we wouldn’t have any butter left at all.
Me: So, you can hear me again? Why is Harriet waiting for Tony?
Nell: She wants to apologise for the ice cream incident.
Me: She was rather naughty.
Nell: What on earth am I going to do about David?
Me: Dave hasn’t been naughty.
Nell: When he hears Tony is going to be away for 2 weeks he will be devastated.
Me: Dave is devastated if Kev goes to the village shop.
Nell: David likes his people to stay close. You really should have told me about this, you know.
Me: What can we do? Call Sally?
Nell: Yes, we need to talk to her about Beauregard anyway. I just hope we have some bacon in the house.
Me: Yes. Sorry.