Nell: You are not going to believe this.
Me: I just might.
Nell: It’s absolutely outrageous.
Me: Has it got something to do with the slippery floor?
Nell: It certainly has.
Me: Only I nearly went flying just now and Manuel can’t get across the kitchen. He just slides around. It’s hilarious.
Nell: Well, Gladys is making the most of it. She’s been Gliding with Alejandro since first thing this morning.
Me: They’re awfully good.
Nell: Who do they think they are? Torvill and Dean?
Me: The llamas cheered.
Nell: What are they doing in the kitchen? I hope they are wearing pyjamas.
Me: Yes, and dressing gowns.
Nell: David and Oliver are to blame for this, you know.
Me: Surely not. I just saw Dave sitting quietly in the yellow chair.
Nell: David is Faking Ignorance.
Me: Are you sure?
Nell: Yes. I know when an animal is pretending. Anyway, Oliver can’t have done this on his own.
Me: Done what?
Nell: Buttered Beauregard’s paws.
Me: Beauregard the tiger?
Nell: How many Beauregards do you know?
Me: Why on earth would they butter a tiger’s paws.
Nell: They want him to stay.
Me: Here?
Nell: Yes. You know you are supposed to butter a cat’s paws if you don’t want them to stray?
Me: Yes.
Nell: Well, that’s what they’ve done.
Me: But Beauregard is a tiger.
Nell: He’s still a cat. Albeit an exceptionally big one.
Me: That’s awfully clever. No wonder my Big Brave Beautiful Boy is looking pleased with himself.
Nell: He has no right to be. The floor is all buttery.
Me: Beauregard didn’t mean to make a mess.
Nell: You won’t mind a buttery bed then.
Me: What?
Nell: That tiger is asleep on your bed. Still think it’s awfully clever?
Me: No. Sorry.
