Beefies Behaving Badly

Me: A visit from Tony was just what Dave needed.

Nell: Yes. It never fails to lift all our spirits.

Me: Did Dave tell Tony about Beauregard?

Nell: Yes. Tony said he shouldn’t be worrying about tigers when the Beefies are behaving so badly.

Me: What have they done now?

Nell: Vandalised the signs.

Me: What signs?

Nell: ‘Please do not feed the seagulls.‘

Me: I know that, Nell. I never feed them.

Nell: No. The signs. They’ve crossed out the ‘not’.

Me: The rascals.

Nell: The tourists are all sharing their ice creams and chips with them.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: My friend Dorothy saw a couple of Beefies enjoying a cream tea with a visiting family of Afghan hounds down at Hope Cove.

Me: Shocking behaviour.

Nell: They dropped cream in their hair.

Me: Beefies don’t have hair.

Nell: No. The Afghans’ hair.

Me: I hope it was cream, Nell. Only you know how messy Beefies can be.

Nell; Let’s not go there.

Me: No.

Nell: And David saw a whole group of Beefies enjoying pizza with the surfers at Bantham Beach.

Me: Gosh. Although, do you know what?

Nell: What?

Me: It might actually be a good thing.

Nell: How exactly?

Me: Well, the Beefies have always had to steal their treats. Maybe if they’re given them they will become nicer and change their ways.

Nell: In that case you won’t mind having your prawn sandwich without the prawns.

Me: Without the prawns it would just be plain bread.

Nell: You had better stop Manuel then, because the last time I saw him he was heading into the garden with a bowl of prawns.

Me: But I was really looking forward to my sandwich.

Nell: What about changing the Beefies’ ways?

Me: I’ve changed my mind. Sorry.

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