Me: A visit from Tony was just what Dave needed.
Nell: Yes. It never fails to lift all our spirits.
Me: Did Dave tell Tony about Beauregard?
Nell: Yes. Tony said he shouldn’t be worrying about tigers when the Beefies are behaving so badly.
Me: What have they done now?
Nell: Vandalised the signs.
Me: What signs?
Nell: ‘Please do not feed the seagulls.‘
Me: I know that, Nell. I never feed them.
Nell: No. The signs. They’ve crossed out the ‘not’.
Me: The rascals.
Nell: The tourists are all sharing their ice creams and chips with them.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: My friend Dorothy saw a couple of Beefies enjoying a cream tea with a visiting family of Afghan hounds down at Hope Cove.
Me: Shocking behaviour.
Nell: They dropped cream in their hair.
Me: Beefies don’t have hair.
Nell: No. The Afghans’ hair.
Me: I hope it was cream, Nell. Only you know how messy Beefies can be.
Nell; Let’s not go there.
Me: No.
Nell: And David saw a whole group of Beefies enjoying pizza with the surfers at Bantham Beach.
Me: Gosh. Although, do you know what?
Nell: What?
Me: It might actually be a good thing.
Nell: How exactly?
Me: Well, the Beefies have always had to steal their treats. Maybe if they’re given them they will become nicer and change their ways.
Nell: In that case you won’t mind having your prawn sandwich without the prawns.
Me: Without the prawns it would just be plain bread.
Nell: You had better stop Manuel then, because the last time I saw him he was heading into the garden with a bowl of prawns.
Me: But I was really looking forward to my sandwich.
Nell: What about changing the Beefies’ ways?
Me: I’ve changed my mind. Sorry.
