Nell: Have you seen my tiara?
Me: What tiara?
Nell: The one I wore to the Royal Wedding.
Me: Never mind that. The Stuffed Tiger is sitting in the yellow chair.
Nell: My pearls are missing too.
Me: Dave isn’t happy.
Nell: He wouldn’t be. We still haven’t found Mutley’s cufflinks.
Me: I meant Dave isn’t happy about the Stuffed Tiger sitting in the yellow chair.
Nell: Its name is Beaumarchais, by the way.
Me: How do you know that?
Nell: Someone sent it a postcard.
Me: Who?
Nell: I don’t know. It wasn’t addressed to me.
Me: Who was it addressed to?
Nell: Beaumarchais. I just told you.
Me: Beaumarchais could be anyone.
Nell: It began with ‘How’s me old stuffed tiger?’
Me: Why the Cockney accent? You said you didn’t read it.
Nell: I said it wasn’t addressed to me. It was from a friend.
Me: How do you know?
Nell: It was signed ‘A Friend’.
Me: What else did it say?
Nell: ‘Hope you’re enjoying your new dogs.’
Me: What?
Nell: Although it might have been digs. The writing wasn’t very clear.
Me: Where is it?
Nell: I gave it to Miss Maple. Are you sure you haven’t seen my tiara?
Me: Yes. Is this for the Birthday Ball?
Nell: I thought I was wearing my pearls when I went to lunch with Rupert at The Cottage Hotel the other day but I might be mistaken.
Me: The Cottage Hotel is closed in January.
Nell: Are you sure?
Me: Yes. I’m absolutely certain because I can never spend my birthday there.
Nell: I can’t remember when I last wore my tiara.
Me: Wait a minute, Nell. It’s my birthday on 30th Jan.
Nell: Stop making everything about you. We need to find my tiara.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
