Nell: Harriet has grass on her tongue.
Me: Never mind that, Nell. Look at her smile.
Nell: She certainly seems happy.
Me: She always is when she’s on a walk.
Nell: I still think she needs to take that grass out of her mouth.
Me: You dogs like to eat grass now and again. It cleans your insides.
Nell: Cleans our insides?
Me: It’s a natural fibre. You do it instinctively.
Nell: That’s as maybe but we shouldn’t be photographed in the process.
Me: It was all about her smile. Sometimes you focus on the wrong things, Nell.
Nell: Do I?
Me: Yes, and you miss what’s important.
Nell: You might be right.
Me: I am.
Nell: Make sure she hasn’t got any grass on her tongue the next time you take a close-up, please.
Me: Fine.
Nell: Moving on, is The Cat still lunching with My Friend Dorothy?
Me: Yes. Now that the weather is warmer they’ve started going for walks together in the grounds of the stately home.
Nell: The Cat doesn’t do walks.
Me: It does now. It was recommending walks in the fresh air to Nigel’s friend Xav the Cat.
Nell: How do you know?
Me: Xav told Nigel and Nigel told Dave and Dave told me.
Nell: Stop. You’re exhausting me. Since when has The Cat been friends with Xav the Cat?
Me: Ages.
Nell: The Cat has never shown any interest in other cats before. It positively dislikes them.
Me: Losing you has changed its outlook on life.
Nell: It’s still wearing sequins and feather boas, isn’t it?
Me: Of course.
Nell: Thank goodness for that.
Me: But not when it goes walking in the countryside with Dorothy. It wears sensible clothes for that.
Nell: I’m going to need a lie down.
Me: Sorry.
