Nell: Good Morning.
Me: Do you ever feel someone is watching you?
Nell: No, I’m a Guardian. I do the watching.
Me: Nigel thought someone was following us on our walk.
Nell: Maybe they were?
Me: It definitely wasn’t a Chubby Raccoon.
Nell: What are you talking about?
Me: It might have been a squirrel, or a deer.
Nell: I can’t believe I’m going to say this but can we go back to the Chubby Raccoon, please?
Me: I was talking to Chris and Shannon in Toronto yesterday and Marvin is being watched by a Chubby Raccoon.
Nell: I think you’ll find Marvin was doing the watching.
Me: Not this time. He was trying to get some sleep on the sofa.
Nell: Anyway, as you most definitely do not have raccoons in Devon it won’t have been one.
Me: We have lions and tigers.
Nell: Beauregard has no reason to follow you and if you ‘re trying to suggest it was Lionel King you can stop right now.
Me: There were a lot of birds around but they don’t really do that silent following thing.
Nell: What silent following thing?
Me: Sneaking through the undergrowth on soft paws and peering through the trees.
Nell: Well, there we have it.
Me: What?
Nell: It was Harriet. She’s always spying on someone.
Me: Why would Harriet spy on Nigel?
Nell: I have no idea. For practice purposes, probably.
Me: Nice alliteration.
Nell: Thank you.
Me: It still doesn’t explain why the Chubby Raccoon is spying on Marvin.
Nell: I’d like to point out that if Marvin was inside on the sofa and the Chubby Raccoon was outside on the roof it wouldn’t have been able to see him.
Me: Maybe it had binoculars?
Nell: This has gone too far.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
