Word is Out

Me: Dave’s watching the sky again and Harriet looks concerned.

Nell: Does she?

Me: You seem a little on edge too.

Nell: I’m afraid Word is Out.

Me: About what?

Nell: Several Beefies wearing Santa hats and carrying mackerel have been spotted in the vicinity.

Me: Santa hats are very last Christmas. It’s 27th December.

Nell: This isn’t a fashion statement. They know Lionel King is here and are preparing to attack.

Me: Oh, I see. Maybe we should just let Lionel deal with this. It’s his fault after all.

Nell: Lionel is a guest in our house. All guests deserve our protection.

Me: I know what Lionel deserves and a mackerel in the face isn’t nearly enough.

Nell: I thought we had discussed this. Where is your Forgiveness and Understanding?

Me: I don’t trust him. Where is Lionel anyway? I haven’t seen him since breakfast.

Nell: Beauregard and Mrs King have kindly allowed him to visit Roary in the tree house.

Me: I hope the visit is being supervised. I know Roary is his son but Lionel has kidnapped him before.

Nell: Oliver is standing guard.

Me: Oliver is an opossum. He’s got no chance against a lion.

Nell: There is much more to Oliver than meets the eye. Henry and Horst have been training him in surveillance and rumour has it that Sally is considering taking him on.

Me: As a spy?

Nell: Who knows?

Me: If I had my all concealing hat I could be a spy.

Nell: We both know that isn’t true. Let it go. Spying is not for you.

Me: I might go over to the tree house and nonchalantly ask if everything is ok.

Nell: You’ve never done anything nonchalantly in your life. Just leave it to the professionals, please.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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