Me: It was lovely to see Tony again, wasn’t it?
Nell: I told David not to jump up as Tony has bruised ribs and he still did.
Me: He can’t help himself. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He loves Tony so much.
Nell: Fortunately Tony was prepared and managed to hold his paws.
Me: He didn’t mind at all.
Nell: I wish David would listen. He’s such an impulsive animal.
Me: Has there been any news on The Cat’s jewellery box yet?
Nell: There have been suspicious sightings.
Me: Of the box?
Nell: No. Several Beefies in sparkling hats were seen eating chips on the quay in Kingsbridge.
Me: The cheek of it.
Nell: And my friend Dorothy said a long haired Beefy in a sequinned caftan bought the last scotch egg at the delicatessen.
Me: How does a seagull even wear a caftan?
Nell: With difficulty. But that’s not the point.
Me: No.
Nell: The Cat is completely beside itself about tonight’s performance.
Me: You can’t have Strictly without sparkles.
Nell: I’m afraid it has had to resort to tin foil and glitter.
Me: That sounds a little uncomfortable.
Nell: One must expect to suffer in the pursuit of one’s dream.
Me: I suppose so. Tin foil is a little restrictive for dancing.
Nell: Count Bingo Flamingo says being wrapping in foil is making him feel like an oven ready turkey.
Me: Oh dear.
Nell: All I can say is thank goodness for Henry and Horst.
Me: Why?
Nell: They’re going to sit on the contestants’ shoulders in their sequinned jackets to add a little sparkle.
Me: It will be a very little sparkle, Nell. They’re only woodlice.
Nell: Only woodlice? How dare you? Henry and Horst are beacons of hope in a dark world.
Me: Of course. Sorry.
