Nell: Is that Hattie Button?
Me: Yes, I saw her yesterday.
Nell: Where were you?
Me: I went out for lunch with my sisters. It’s Alex’s birthday today.
Nell: Happy Birthday Alex. Rumour has it that this was a dogless lunch.
Me: Yes, it was just we three sisters. Kev didn’t go either. You were all busy getting ready for Strictly.
Nell: It would have been nice to be asked.
Me: So, what did you think of yesterday’s performance?
Nell: Considering the challenges faced by the wardrobe department it went really well.
Me: It’s quite amazing what can be done with some tin foil and glitter. The Cat should be proud.
Nell: It’s exhausted.
Me: I thought Malcolm and Alejandro stole the show. The way Malcolm displayed his feathers like a cape and Alejandro bared his teeth.
Nell: Yes, that was impressive but Poppy and Stephen Seagull are going to be hard to beat.
Me: Poppy certainly makes a marvellous matador and Stephen as the flying cape was amazing.
Nell: Yes, the Pasa Doble was bound to favour our feathered contestants.
Me: Lionel King gave them a 10.
Nell: I’m seriously considering taking that lion’s voting paddles away. Beauregard and Harriet were much better than a 3 and a 1 for Rupert and Myfanwy was grossly unfair.
Me: It wasn’t really their dance though. Rita and Manuel struggled too.
Nell: Manuel had a problem with his tentacles. We shall have to hope the public vote will save them. Did you see Princess throwing fish at Count Bingo Flamingo?
Me: He caught them all.
Nell: That’s not the point. It’s unseemly behaviour for a judge.
Me: Well, I loved every minute and Henry and Horst were little stars. See what I did there?
Nell: Just pour the tea.
Me: Yes. Sorry.