Me: Wasn’t it glorious to be able to go on our old walk through the fields?

Nell: It was delightful.

Me: It was one of those crisp, cold, sunny, winter days that makes your heart sing.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: That makes you glad to be alive.

Nell: Although it’s particularly cold at the moment.

Me: Yes. The temperature has definitely dropped.

Nell: Yes. I was talking to Knitwear Wolf about it over breakfast this morning. He is organising a warm blanket for me, as I felt a little chilled last night.

Me: How kind of him. Any bacon?

Nell: No. It’s Monday. Toast and marmalade for me with a nice pot of Earl Grey, and a bagel and coffee for Rupert.

Me: He is Canadian.

Nell: Yes, and he supports Babycakes Gillespie. It’s cold out there with the cart you know.

Me: It must be.

Nell: Fortunately the llamas are excellent customers. They love nothing more than a coffee and a doughnut.

Me: I thought Babycakes only sold bagels.

Nell: In this weather? No, doughnuts are a must.

Me: I haven’t had a doughnut in years.

Nell: Well, go and get one then, before they’ve all gone.

Me: Why? Do you think there’s going to be a rush on doughnuts this morning?

Nell: Of course. It’s Monday and the Whippets Institute are rambling.

Me: I didn’t know.

Nell: Haven’t you noticed the minibus is parked here every week?

Me: I can’t say I have, but if it’s during my writing time I don’t really notice much.

Nell: They like to begin and end their walk from here. Sometimes the larger animals join them.

Me: But they’re not whippets.

Nell: Whippets are allowed guests. How else would David be allowed to join the debating society?

Me: I see. Sorry.

Me: What on earth is going on downstairs?

Nell: Nothing for you to worry about.

Me: I heard Poppy shouting.

Nell: Kev was a little slow at distributing the sausages and bacon. David was supervising and they lost count of the number of pieces.

Me: Why did Poppy get angry?

Nell: You know how she likes everything done quickly and she’s still got the Sunday roast to prepare.

Me: I didn’t know we were having a fry up.

Nell: It’s Sunday. You can’t have a Sunday without bacon.

Me: I’ve had weeks and weeks of Sundays without bacon. Nobody told me.

Nell: You were writing. It’s a chilly morning and Sunday Songs is about to begin. You can’t expect us to face the cold without a little sustenance.

Me: I thought you were going to listen from inside.

Nell: I’m going to stand in the doorway in my scarf and hat, if you must know.

Me: I’ve just had a thought.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: Have you all been eating sausages and bacon every Sunday and not telling me?

Nell: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Me: While I’ve been upstairs writing with a meagre piece of toast and a cup of weak tea have you all been wallowing in bacon?

Nell: We only get a small piece, or two, each.

Me: All this time, I’ve been wondering why you were licking your lips at Sunday Songs and now I know why.

Nell: Licking my lips?

Me: That’s what you all do after bacon.

Nell: David must be licking his lips all the times then. I’ve always included you, by the way. What do I say to you every Sunday?

Me: ‘Wake up and smell the bacon.’

Nell: Exactly.

Me: I thought it was just a saying. Sorry.

Me: It was lovely down on the beach, wasn’t it?Harriet is always in her element. Even Poppy went swimming.

Nell: Only because she was trying to catch that Labradoodle.

Me: Why?

Nell: It made an unnecessarily rude comment about her hair.

Me: Well, that’s not very kind. Not everyone can have beautiful curly locks.

Nell: Quite, and it’s most impolite to say loudly, ‘Someone’s in need of a good brush.’

Me: I’ll be glad when restrictions are lifted and she can be clipped. I’ve tried brushing her but the next minute her hair is wild again.

Nell: At least she wears a cap and headphones when she’s flying. Harriet says she’s a very professional pilot.

Me: Have you found out yet why Harriet had to rush up to London?

Nell: No. But Sally is definitely coming to visit us soon, so we may learn more then.

Me: Good.

Nell: Yes. Terry was only just saying how much he was looking forward to meeting her.

Me: How does Terry know about Sally?

Nell: He was asking me about the family now that he’s reconciled with Susan.

Me: So she knows?

Nell: Yes, he popped over to The Nest this morning.

Me: Was Susan shocked to hear she has a brother?

Nell: A little startled at first, but you know Susan. Kindness personified. He was soon enjoying one of Malcolm’s macarons and a nice cup of tea.

Me: Has he told her about Squawk?

Nell: Not yet.

Me: Did I hear singing this morning?

Nell: It was probably David. He’s writing a love song for Sally for Valentine’s Day.

Me: It sounded screechier than Dave.

Nell: That wasn’t singing, it was Romeo serenading Susan again.

Me: Unrequited love can be so painful.

Nell: You can say that again.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Why is my Big Brave Beautiful Boy hiding under the table?

Nell: Yesterday’s afternoon tea didn’t go the way I planned.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: I blame The Cat. Why it had to tell PC Panda I do not know.

Me: What happened?

Nell: It all went wrong when David and Gladys took over the preparations.

Me: Where were Poppy and Manuel?

Nell: Poppy had to fly Harriet up to London to see Sally in her helicopter and Manuel went down to the sea with Princess and Our Penguin.

Me: Is that even allowed?

Nell: Everyone is entitled to a day off. Knitwear Wolf took them in his sidecar.

Me: No. I meant Poppy flying Harriet up to London. We’re in lockdown.

Nell: It was essential travel. Don’t bother asking Harriet about it as she’s keeping her lips sealed.

Me: Not even if I offer her a biscuit?

Nell: I’ve tried that already. She’s not talking. Not even for a scone.

Me: Gosh. So Dave had to take over?

Nell: Yes. Unfortunately he ate the finger sandwiches by mistake while he was reading the recipe for fairy cakes.

Me: It can happen.

Nell: Anyway, David and Gladys decided fish finger sandwiches might do.

Me: Good idea. Seagulls love fish.

Nell: Yes, but the llamas weren’t keen.

Me: The llamas? What were they doing there?

Nell: I have no idea. When Terry arrived PC Panda told him it was an illegal gathering and he would have to wait at the gate.

Me: Did he get the chance to talk to Susan?

Nell: He managed to shout ‘By the way, I’m your half brother’ but he’s not sure she heard him over the singing.

Me: Singing?

Nell: Don’t ask. David and Gladys are never organising afternoon tea again.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: I never get tired of seeing those two together. Look at my Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He is so happy.

Nell: I know. They really are the best of friends.

Me: I wonder what Tony thinks of the new Book the Beefy service.

Nell: David says he’s not happy about it at all. Letters and parcels are getting all fishy and people are complaining.

Me: Fishy? Why?

Nell: People have had mackerel posted through their letterboxes.

Me: I’m surprised a mackerel can get through a letterbox.

Nell: It can’t. It just hangs out of it. But that’s not the point. The Beefies are not supposed to touch the letterboxes.

Me: I thought I saw Romeo with a rose in his beak this morning.

Nell: You probably did. It’s part of the Valentine’s Day promotion. Just go on the app and you’ll see it.

Me: What app?

Nell: The Book a Beefy app. Good grief. Do keep up.

Me: Oh yes. You told me about it.

Nell: I think it’s called ‘Surprise a Loved One’.

Me: Anyone would be surprised if Squawk turned up on their doorstep. Does Susan know yet?

Nell: No. But she’s having tea with Terry this afternoon.

Me: Where?

Nell: Here. Poppy is making finger sandwiches, crusts off, and tiny fairy cakes. David will be waiting on them.

Me: Are you sure that’s wise?

Nell: They need to be able to talk quietly.

Me: I meant letting Dave serve.

Nell: David is excellent at Front of House.

Me: Does Susan know Terry is invited?

Nell: No. She thinks she’s having tea with me.

Me: Well, that’s taking ‘Surprise a Loved One’ to a whole new level. Meet your half brother. You haven’t invited Squawk too, have you?

Nell: Credit me with some sense.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Has anyone seen my pillow?

Nell: No. Has it gone missing?

Me: Yes. It’s the one I use to support my back.

Nell: Are you talking about the downstairs pillow?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Harriet is using it.

Me: What do you mean ‘using it’?

Nell: She’s resting her legs and paws.

Me: Her muddy legs and paws?

Nell: Don’t start. There’s nothing anyone can do at this time of year. Where there’s rain, there’s mud.

Me: But preferably not on my pillow.

Nell: Harriet’s tired. She was up late zooming Sally.

Me: Why?

Nell: I think we can expect a visit soon.

Me: Dave will be delighted.

Nell: Yes. He misses Sally dreadfully.

Me: I’m afraid missing people is part of life at the moment.

Nell: We’re certainly all going to miss Captain Sir Tom.

Me: Such a wonderful man. An example of the good in people.

Nell: He will live on in our hearts as a Guardian of us all.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Now, Terry is due here soon to take some of Poppy’s shortbread over to Pamela. Is there anything you need collecting from the town?

Me: No. I’m fine thank you. Have you told Susan yet?

Nell: No. Terry says he would prefer to tell her himself. It’s more complicated than we thought.

Me: I suppose it’s not every day you find out you have a half brother. Especially one who is a Beefy.

Nell: Or even two.

Me: Two?

Nell: You remember Squawk?

Me: The horribly rude Beefy with a ring through his beak who wore Dorothy’s scarf and threw a mackerel at her?

Nell: Yes. That one. Well, it turns out that he and Terry are twins.

Me: But that means he’s Susan’s half brother too.

Nell: Sherlock Martin strikes again.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Dave is sitting on the small round table in the living room dressed in a curtain.

Nell: Don’t be silly.

Me: He looks like a Roman god.

Nell: David is not dressed in a curtain. He is merely sitting on it.

Me: Why?

Nell: Because it’s more comfortable.

Me: Why is he on the table?

Nell: He can get a better view of the gate.

Me: Is he expecting someone?

Nell: Yes. Tony. He is due back from his week off.

Me: Oh, I see. He’s never climbed on to the table before.

Nell: No. I was a little surprised myself.

Me: My darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. So handsome.

Nell: Yes. David has classic Labrador good looks.

Me: So do you.

Nell: Do you want something?

Me: Not really.

Nell: Are you sure?

Me: I was just wondering if you can really trust Terry.

Nell: Terry from Book a Beefy?

Me: Yes. You are always booking him, Nell.

Nell: Terry is an excellent courier. Polite, respectful and willing to go the extra mile.

Me: But he’s still a Beefy.

Nell: That’s not his fault.

Me: It sort of is. He could have stayed a normal seagull but he joined the Beefies.

Nell: His father gave him no choice.

Me: How do you know that?

Nell: We were discussing families and he told me he was forced to join the gang.

Me: How do you know he is telling the truth?

Nell: Because I know his father.

Me: You do?

Nell: It’s Stephen Seagull.

Me: The evil head of the Beefies?

Nell: Yes.

Me: So Terry is Susan’s half brother?

Nell: He is.

Me: And Malcolm’s brother-in-law?

Nell: I suppose he is.

Me: Do they know?

Nell: Not yet.

Me: You have to tell them, Nell. Sorry.

Nell: It could stop raining now.

Me: Yes, I agree. It could.

Nell: Even Princess has stopped clapping.

Me: At least it isn’t snowing.

Nell: Not yet.

Me: I think we might have a touch of the Mondays, Nell.

Nell: You are right. This won’t do at all. Ouch. Why did you do that?

Me: Pinch, punch. First of the month. White rabbits. No return.

Nell: I worry about you sometimes.

Me: You can’t pinch me back now.

Nell: I have no intention of pinching anyone, thank you. Where have the white rabbits gone?

Me: There aren’t any. It’s just a saying.

Nell: Are you sure that’s tea you are drinking?

Me: Yes. Peppermint tea actually.

Nell: That explains everything.

Me: I’m partial to peppermint.

Nell: No wonder you’re talking nonsense this morning.

Me: February is the month of love, you know.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: Which is odd in a way because it isn’t a romantic time of year. All grey and rainy.

Nell: Romance is particularly welcome in darker times, if you ask me.

Me: Well, it will be socially distanced romance for many this year.

Nell: True. The pandemic has changed our lives.

Me: You can say that again.

Nell: Why would I do that when you heard me the first time?

Me: Never mind.

Nell: Talking of romance, guess who turned up at Malcolm’s nest when he Booked a Beefy?

Me: I hope it wasn’t Squawk.

Nell: No. Squawk is suspended. It was Romeo.

Me: The Beefy who is in love with Susan?

Nell: Yes. Apparently he’s still wearing David’s long black wig, but it’s tied back in a pony tail with a smart ribbon.

Me: Fashion statement?

Nell: No. He doesn’t want hair getting in his eyes when he’s delivering.

Me: Of course. Sorry.