Give Gull a Chance

Me: Somebody ate the oven gloves.

Nell: It was David. He ate them by mistake.

Me: Well, they are useless now.

Nell: It’s your fault, anyway. He was traumatised.

Me: How is it my fault?

Nell: Telling us all we can only eat soft food.

Me: Kev has damaged his tooth so he can’t chew.

Nell: Yes, we are very sorry about that.

Me: So all chewy food is off the menu.

Nell: You gave away our bacon.

Me: Yes, to our friends Terry and Marian. They’re renting a holiday apartment and they can use it for breakfast today.

Nell: It was our bacon.

Me: As soon as Kev’s tooth is fixed there will be bacon again.

Nell: I’m guessing steak is off the menu too?

Me: I’m afraid so. There will be lots of fresh fish, though.

Nell: This will not end well. A dog cannot live by fish alone.

Me: I think you’re being a little dramatic.

Nell: Fortunately The Cat is hosting a Strictly Come Dancing party at the Big House this evening and the Whippets Institute are catering.

Me: Sponge cakes and dainty sandwiches?

Nell: Certainly not, barbecue ribs, burgers and sausages. You need food in the paw and lots of it when you’re dancing.

Me: I thought you were watching it on television.

Nell: Nobody just watches. They join in.

Me: I didn’t know.

Nell: Alejandro is in charge of the barbecuing with help from Rupert.

Me: I didn’t think wolves liked fire.

Nell: I didn’t think wolves wore knitted cardigans.

Me: I’ll be sad to miss the party.

Nell: You won’t miss it. Alejandro is barbecuing some fresh mackerel for Kev courtesy of Gull.

Me: Gull?

Nell: The innocent Beefy with the placard and bandana. We are Giving Gull a Chance.

Me: Oh. Sorry.

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