Nell: Someone has upset The Cat. It’s wearing a feathered hat which is always a bad sign.
Me: I was talking about having my hair done this morning but it walked away.
Nell: Did you mention Doug?
Me: The Jack Russell who runs the hair salon?
Nell: What other Doug is there?
Me: Well, I asked Alice if she and Jonathan would like a lift into town because Doug has booked me in for a cut and colour with Sophie.
Nell: Was The Cat there?
Me: It was having a breakfast meeting with Harriet about the budget. Smoked salmon and scrambled egg. I only had cereal.
Nell: I don’t need the details of your breakfast envy, thank you. So it heard you mention Doug?
Me: Probably.
Nell: The Cat hates Doug.
Me: Oh dear. Why?
Nell: Doug referred to it as “that ginger puss”.
Me: No?
Nell: I’m afraid so and we all know The Cat is a strawberry blonde.
Me: It is more ginger than blonde, to be fair.
Nell: Anyway, it was probably more to do with the budget cuts. The Cat is way over again.
Me: It’s all about the right cut.
Nell: This is not a laughing matter.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
