Beware of The Cat

Nell: Someone has upset The Cat. It’s wearing a feathered hat which is always a bad sign.

Me: I was talking about having my hair done this morning but it walked away.

Nell: Did you mention Doug?

Me: The Jack Russell who runs the hair salon?

Nell: What other Doug is there?

Me: Well, I asked Alice if she and Jonathan would like a lift into town because Doug has booked me in for a cut and colour with Sophie.

Nell: Was The Cat there?

Me: It was having a breakfast meeting with Harriet about the budget. Smoked salmon and scrambled egg. I only had cereal.

Nell: I don’t need the details of your breakfast envy, thank you. So it heard you mention Doug?

Me: Probably.

Nell: The Cat hates Doug.

Me: Oh dear. Why?

Nell: Doug referred to it as “that ginger puss”.

Me: No?

Nell: I’m afraid so and we all know The Cat is a strawberry blonde.

Me: It is more ginger than blonde, to be fair.

Nell: Anyway, it was probably more to do with the budget cuts. The Cat is way over again.

Me: It’s all about the right cut.

Nell: This is not a laughing matter.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

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