Nell: I knew scones first thing in the morning were a bad idea.
Me: Why?
Nell: They have all gone mad. Poppy and David are playing Bitey Faces and Jonathan is zooming around in his car.
Me: They are having fun. It’s St. Nicholas Day and their boots were full of treats.
Nell: Yes. The trouble is Poppy has thigh boots so she had an enormous amount of treats and has gone wild.
Me: I wouldn’t worry, Nell. It’s just harmless fun.
Nell: Yes, but the Portishead Pugs are booked in for lunch at the cafe and Malcolm is struggling with his quiches.
Me: Who are they?
Nell: The famous dance group from Bristol. Gladys trained with them. They won Beagle’s Got Talent.
Me: But they’re not beagles.
Nell: It’s Beagle’s with an apostrophe. Jeremy Beagle is the host. Do keep up.
Me: Is Jeremy Beagle coming for lunch too?
Nell: No, of course he isn’t. Simon Howl doesn’t travel around with all X Factor winners, does he?
Me: Don’t you mean Simon Cowell?
Nell: No. Simon Howl the husky. He likes to wear an open collar.
Me: Oh. My mistake. Sorry.
