Nell: I’m extremely annoyed with Kevin.

Me: Oh dear. You usually call him Kev.

Nell: Well, not today.

Me: What has he done?

Nell: He is in cahoots with David and Poppy. We were at the garden centre just now buying compost when he admitted he knew about the whole debacle.

Me: Where is Dave, by the way?

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Is he having a lie in?

Nell: David is training with the England team in Russia. He never came home.

Me: What?

Nell: Oh yes. Poppy left him there.

Me: No!

Nell: Apparently the team see him as a mascot. Pickford has taken him under his wing and David is training to be a goalie. He will be on the bench on Wednesday.

Me: Well, that’s ever so exciting for him.

Nell: He is a young and impressionable animal. He only just survived the seagull attack and the loss of his muffin.

Me: Surely Gareth will keep an eye on him.

Nell: He has promised me he will. At least Poppy is flying back for the semi finals and taking Mutley with her. He’s got a lunch meeting in Moscow so they can feed two puppies with one bone.

Me: Don’t you mean kill two birds with one stone?

Nell: No. Why on earth would I say that?

Me: Poppy has been baking all morning.

Nell: Yes. The team have requested scones.

Me: Do you think you should go too?

Nell: I’m not going to leave Harriet, now am I? Fortunately she and David are FaceTiming later. Thank goodness for Woof’s App.

Me: Are you letting her go to the beach barbecue with Jim?

Nell: I’m not sure she should be socialising with the farm dogs.

Me: It’s very Romeo and Juliet isn’t it? Poor star crossed lovers.

Nell: Do get a grip. Just fetch me my handbag. Gareth needs me to call him with Wednesday’s lineup.

Me: Ok. Sorry.

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