Nell: David wants a word with you about his book.
Me: What’s he reading?
Nell: He’s not reading. He’s writing.
Me: Dave is writing a book?
Nell: He’s been working on it for ages.
Me: Has he?
Nell: You must have noticed.
Me: I noticed him eating my vegetable pasta yesterday evening.
Nell: Exactly.
Me: He said it was by mistake.
Nell: It was a deliberate mistake. He’s doing it for the book.
Me: What book?
Nell: His book. ‘Some Meals I Ate By Mistake’ by Dave Martin.
Me: Is it real?
Nell: Of course it’s real. Hours of research have gone into it.
Me: You mean hours of eating.
Nell: According to David, Eating By Mistake is a risky business.
Me: I thought Harriet was going to wallop him when he ate her boiled egg.
Nell: He’s had to eat a few really unpleasant things to make sure they’re tasty enough for his book.
Me: Like what?
Nell: Lettuce and bananas.
Me: They don’t go together, Nell.
Nell: He knows.
Me: When’s the book coming out?
Nell: That’s where you come in.
Me: I do?
Nell: David’s done all the work. He just needs someone to write it down.
Me: And that’s me?
Nell: You’re the obvious choice.
Me: Why?
Nell: You’re always writing. David will tell you what he wants to say.
Me: That’s kind of him.
Nell: And Herr Hoffmann has agreed to recreate the meals for you both.
Me: Am I eating by mistake, too?
Nell: No. You’ll start eating and then David will take over.
Me: Like yesterday evening?
Nell: Yes. Vegetable Pasta is one of the recipes. Would you like to see the front cover?
Me: There’s a front cover?
Nell: You can’t have a book without a cover.
Me: Of course not. Sorry.
