Me: You’re such a beautiful Labrador, Nell. No wonder Knitwear Wolf’s so smitten with you.
Nell: Smitten?
Me: Hopelessly in love. Infatuated.
Nell: Can we move out of Mills and Boon territory and back to the real world, please?
Me: Just saying.
Nell: Poppy thinks an advert for a chef in the Daily Growl is a good idea.
Me: Does she?
Nell: Yes. She wants to be on the Decision Making Panel, however.
Me: What Decision Making Panel?
Nell: All applicants will be interviewed by the DMP and if successful will move on to Stage Two.
Me: Stage Two?
Nell: Kitchen Trials.
Me: This isn’t Masterchef.
Nell: I know. Greg Walrus and John the Toad aren’t available, anyway. I asked them.
Me: How’s Poppy going to be on the Decision Making Panel?
Nell: I’ll have to be on it. Obviously.
Me: How will we know when it’s Poppy’s decision and not yours?
Nell: She will tell me and I will tell all of you. Stop being so obstructive.
Me: So, you’ll effectively have two votes?
Nell: Yes.
Me: Can I be on the Decision Making Panel?
Nell: I’ll have to ask Poppy.
Me: Why?
Nell: She’s Chief Judge. Do keep up.
Me: Herr Hoffmann should definitely be on the Panel.
Nell: He’s asleep.
Me: We’ll wake him up for the interviews.
Nell: Good luck with that.
Me: Dave should definitely be on there.
Nell: David’s far too emotional.
Me: He’s the Mayor of Kingsbridge and he has Poppy’s Recipe Book.
Nell: The Cat might be a better choice.
Me: It doesn’t even like food.
Nell: It’s a good judge of character and doesn’t throw itself at every passing delivery person.
Me: Dave’s just friendly. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: We need a chef not a cuddle.
Me: Yes. Sorry.
