Me: Dave never gets tired of stealing tea towels. Naughty Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: Talking of tired, we’re going to have to do something about Herr Hoffmann.
Me: Why?
Nell: He fell asleep in his soup yesterday evening.
Me: I hope it wasn’t too hot. We don’t want him burning his nose.
Nell: That’s not the point. He’s an elderly bear. He needs his sleep.
Me: I’m the same.
Nell: You’re not an elderly bear.
Me: No, but I feel like one sometimes.
Nell: David’s going to have to step up. Chief Taster isn’t enough. He needs to do more.
Me: I don’t think Dave having Poppy’s recipe book is going to turn him into a cook.
Nell: I agree.
Me: Maybe we need to advertise?
Nell: In the Daily Growl?
Me: Yes.
Nell: Far too risky. Anyone could apply.
Me: Isn’t that the idea?
Nell: Do you want your food cooked by a Beefy?
Me: The advert would have to say ‘No Beefies’.
Nell: You can’t do that. It’s Beefiest.
Me: Do we know anyone with a background in cooking?
Nell: Lionel trained as a chef.
Me: You cannot be serious.
Nell: I am. Lionel has a natural flair for cooking and an excellent palate.
Me: I meant you cannot seriously think we would ever let that lion cook for us.
Nell: It was just an idea.
Me: Poppy would be furious.
Nell: She’s already shouting in my ear.
Me: Lionel King. What an awful thought.
Nell: Well, we’re going to have to come up with something. Malcolm and Manuel are doing their best, but they’re clearly struggling to cope.
Me: When do bears wake up again?
Nell: Spring. But it’s not only the hibernation factor. It’s his age.
Me: Then advertising might be the only solution. Sorry.
