Me: Can we have a word about your behaviour at the Gastrobus by the beach, please?

Nell: I behaved perfectly.

Me: No, you did not.

Nell: I kept Kev’s place in the queue.

Me: There wasn’t anyone else there.

Nell: Winston was there.

Me: Suddenly he counts.

Nell: That’s a little harsh.

Me: Kev and I just wanted a cup of tea.

Nell: I know.

Me: But while Kev went back to the car to get his wallet you ordered burgers for everyone.

Nell: Not everyone. Only for me, David and Harriet.

Me: You didn’t include Winston and he was waiting patiently in the queue.

Nell: Winston is the Gastrobus dog. He can have burgers any time he likes.

Me: He’s not allowed.

Nell: There you are then.

Me: It was extremely naughty. Did Dave and Harriet know you were going to do that?

Nell: Why?

Me: They kept Kev busy by tangling up Dave’s lead.

Nell: We were very hungry. A Labrador needs sustenance after a long walk.

Me: You’d already had one of Herr Hoffmann’s big German breakfasts.

Nell: That was Morning Food.

Me: A good breakfast can keep you going all day.

Nell: Don’t make me laugh. You were just jealous.

Me: You can’t just do that, Nell.

Nell: I particularly enjoy the beach in October.

Me: You’re ignoring me again.

Nell: The crowds have all gone and we dogs can enjoy the freedom to roam freely.

Me: Kev was only expecting to pay for two teas.

Nell: It was a delightful day for everyone.

Me: And you ordered the Gastrobus special burgers too.

Nell: It’s Alice’s birthday tomorrow.

Me: Stop changing the subject.

Nell: I would have thought your daughter’s birthday would be the most important subject on your mind at the moment.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: For an older lady you can see really well when a biscuit comes flying at you.

Nell: Less of the old, please.

Me: Just saying there’s not a lot wrong with your long distance eyesight.

Nell: Talking of eyesight, have you seen my reading glasses?

Me: There’ll be in your handbag.

Nell: Have you seen my handbag?

Me: Your memory’s not always the best, is it?

Nell: My memory’s fine. David loves to take my handbag and hide Gladys in it so that’s probably what’s happened.

Me: I’m glad to see him getting playful again. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann taking over the kitchen has made a huge difference. David is much happier as a sous chef.

Me: Yes.

Nell: Remember he is also the Mayor of Kingsbridge.

Me: And Indiana Bones. How is filming going?

Nell: Better now we’re all back on the beach.

Me: I still think that lion has something to do with Herr Hoffmann’s fishing trip.

Nell: Lionel wasn’t even there.

Me: I bet he rubbed out Herr Hoffman’s message.

Nell: The sea did that.

Me: Herr Hoffmann doesn’t like him.

Nell: Why do you think that?

Me: He was making Apfelstrudel and he said ‘Paws off ze pastry.’

Nell: He says that to David all the time.

Me: Yes, but he does it with a smile. What was that lion doing in the kitchen in the first place?

Nell: Collecting elevenses for the cast and crew.

Me: Stealing for himself, more like it.

Nell: Nonsense. Did David just walk past carrying my handbag?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Was Gladys inside it wearing a tiara?

Me: It was definitely some kind of sparkly crown.

Nell: I’ll have to pretend to be annoyed.

Me: They’ll love that.

Nell: I know.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

Nell: It’s rather early.

Me: Look at the sunrise over the fields. Isn’t it beautiful?

Nell: It’s quite pleasing, I suppose.

Me: I love the colours. Magical.

Nell: Personally, I’d rather be asleep.

Me: I can smell baking, so Herr Hoffmann must be busy in the kitchen.

Nell: He’s been up for hours. He insists on fresh rolls for breakfast and who are we to argue?

Me: I thought yesterday’s roast was delicious.

Nell: Not quite up to Poppy’s standards but not bad at all.

Me: Adding red cabbage gave it a German feel.

Nell; I agree. What I like about Herr Hoffmann is that he isn’t trying to replace Poppy. He does things in his own way.

Me: So you like him now?

Nell: I never didn’t. I just need time.

Me: He doesn’t seem as tired.

Nell: No, I asked him why.

Me: What did he say?

Nell: ‘Bears get tired in the cold and it isn’t cold here.’

Me: I see.

Nell: And ‘Bears need to be needed and I’m needed here.’

Me: He’s right. Did he say anything else?

Nell: None of your business.

Me: You’re going to have to tell me now.

Nell: Don’t read anything into this because he says it all the time.

Me: Tell me.

Nell: ‘Vanna bear hug?’

Me: I like your German accent. Did you have one?

Nell: It would have been rude not to.

Me: Do you know what? Just like the sunrise, things are starting to get a little lighter.

Nell: Yes.

Me: I was dreading going to the activity field without Poppy, but seeing you all having fun made me realise life has to go on.

Nell; It does.

Me: Vanna bear hug?

Nell: Stop that. You’re not German and you’re not a bear.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: There seems to be a lot happening in the field this morning. The puppies are fascinated.

Nell: Sunday Songs is going international.

Me: Any particular reason?

Nell: It’s Canadian Thanksgiving tomorrow so the Welsh Corgi Choir are dressed as Mounties.

Me: Are they riding in on the llamas?

Nell: Don’t be silly. Llamas can’t be trusted with anything on their backs. They fall over.

Me: Not always.

Nell: Often enough and with no warning. I know corgis bounce but it’s far too risky.

Me: Corgis don’t bounce.

Nell: They’re good at tumbling but not from any height.

Me: Knitwear Wolf must be pleased.

Nell: About tumbling corgis? Why?

Me: About celebrating Canada. He’s Canadian.

Nell: I see. Yes, Rupert is delighted.

Me: Is he wearing a Canadian cardigan?

Nell: Of course.

Me: Are we having a Canadian breakfast?

Nell: We are. Herr Hoffmann has made pancakes with maple syrup and bacon on the side.

Me: Delicious.

Nell: And we’re having roast turkey for lunch.

Me: I just had a Poppy moment then.

Nell: It’s understandable. Roasts were Poppy’s speciality.

Me: Are they using her recipe book?

Nell: Yes.

Me: So, she’s still involved.

Nell: She’s extremely involved. She keeps shouting in my ear about basting the turkey.

Me: Talking of turkeys, is Timothy quite safe?

Nell: Yes, he’s gone on a painting retreat in Tuscany.

Me: Wise decision.

Nell: Herr Hoffmann is making pumpkin pie for dessert.

Me: I’d rather have apple pie.

Nell: You need to keep an open mind.

Me: Shel says I would love his pumpkin pie.

Nell: He’ll be visiting us again soon.

Me: It will be good to see him again.

Nell: We can discuss the animation.

Me: I’m still hoping we can make it happen.

Nell: We will. Trust me.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: You dogs are so lovely with each other. I saw Harriet comforting you.

Nell: She’s a sweet and caring niece.

Me: Alice said little Faye wanted to jump on a plane and fly over to be with us all.

Nell: Bless her.

Me: Poppy was such a big personality. I keep thinking she’s still here.

Nell: She is. In a way.

Me: I could even smell fresh bread this morning. As if someone was baking.

Nell: They were.

Me: Has Dave been trying to make bread? That’s very ambitious.

Nell: It wasn’t David.

Me: Who was it?

Nell: Herr Hoffmann.

Me: Is he back?

Nell: Yes, Henry and Horst finally managed to track him down with the help of Owl Pacino.

Me: Where was he?

Nell: The Beefies weren’t lying when they said they saw a seal and a bear out at sea. Herr Hoffmann went on a spontaneous fishing trip with Sir Roger Blubbery.

Me: Why didn’t he tell us?

Nell: Herr Hoffmann wrote a message in the sand.

Me: What did it say?

Nell: ‘Gone Fishing.’

Me: Nobody saw that.

Nell: I know. The sea must have washed it away.

Me: I’m glad he’s back and safe.

Nell: He’s a completely new bear. As soon as he heard about Poppy he took over the kitchen and started baking.

Me: Does he know how?

Nell: Yes. It turns out that Herr Hoffmann trained as a baker. When you saw him with a bag of bread rolls in Germany he had made them himself.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: He’s been retired for a while but he still loves to bake.

Me: This is wonderful. Can I smell bacon?

Nell: You can. Bacon sandwiches all round this morning.

Me: If Dave leaves us any.

Nell: You’d better hurry.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Grieving is actually physically exhausting, isn’t it?

Nell: It is. I have to admit I’m a little tired.

Me: You need to rest.

Nell: It’s been an exceptionally difficult week for us all.

Me: It certainly has.

Nell: This time last week we had no idea it would be Poppy’s last day with us.

Me: No.

Nell: And you have had to say a final farewell to your little sister.

Me: I’m glad Alex is with my mother and stepfather. Their grave is in a beautiful place and I know she wanted her ashes to be scattered there too.

Nell: She did.

Me: Dave made us all a wonderful tea when we got home.

Nell: It was a good effort. The scones weren’t quite right.

Me: It was his first attempt. The sandwiches were lovely.

Nell: I was glad to see the crusts were cut off. Poppy would have approved.

Me: I wasn’t expecting the entertainment.

Nell: Gladys insisted on an interpretive dance. Personally, I thought the singing was enough.

Me: There were an awful lot of corgis.

Nell: And not a lot of room.

Me: It was ever so kind of the Whippets Institute to bring us cake.

Nell: They knew David would be daunted. It was their way of celebrating Poppy too.

Me: How kind.

Nell: They always saw her as an honorary whippet.

Me: I never knew that.

Nell: Poppy was greatly admired.

Me: It was good to share happy memories of Alex with Charlotte and the children.

Nell: Yes.

Me: Family is everything.

Nell: And we are blessed with a wonderful family.

Me: I’m so sad, Nell.

Nell: One step at a time. We can do this. Together.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And no sorries. You were very brave. Be kind to yourself.

Me: Thank you.

Me: Dave was absolutely over the moon to see Tony.

Nell: We all were.

Me: Harriet was a little reserved. She’s grieving in a different way and wanted Dave to have time with his best friend. Unlike you.

Nell: Tony is my person too, you know.

Me: He and Sue are so sad about Poppy.

Nell: Talking of Poppy she wanted me to say she knows today is a difficult one.

Me: Scattering Alex’s ashes is going to be very emotional.

Nell: It is.

Me: I shall have to unleash my inner warrior to get through this.

Nell: Which is why Poppy wants you to look in her palace.

Me: Poppy’s Palace? Where she used to sleep?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Kev put all of Poppy’s things in the front bedroom. I haven’t been in there since we lost her.

Nell: I know but you need to go there now.

Me: I don’t think I can.

Nell: I will be by your side. Come on.

Me: This is very hard.

Nell: Just look inside under the blanket.

Me: There’s a book.

Nell: Yes.

Me: And something shiny.

Nell: Be careful.

Me: It’s Poppy’s sword.

Nell: Guardians don’t need swords.

Me: I’m honoured.

Nell: You’re not to use it, however. Poppy was quite clear about that. It’s just for looking at and knowing you’re much stronger than you think.

Me: And the book?

Nell: It’s for David. All her recipes.

Me: Wonderful.

Nell: The sword is for sharing, by the way.

Me: I see.

Nell: Anyone feeling a little lost or low is allowed to look at it.

Me: I think Harriet and Kev might need to do that too.

Nell: So, do I. Now let’s get ourselves ready to say goodbye to Alex.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: No sorries. Not today.

Me: Does Dave understand Poppy isn’t coming back?

Nell: Yes. He and Harriet had a long chat on their walk and then Rupert sat down with him in the evening.

Me: My poor darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He looks so sad. I wish I could comfort him.

Nell: Poppy says the best thing to do is to keep busy.

Me: Are you still talking to her?

Nell: Yes, and I’m also taking her advice.

Me: A wise decision.

Nell: And so is David.

Me: How?

Nell: In the midst of his sorrow David has decided to do A Very Brave Thing.

Me: What?

Nell: He made breakfast for us all.

Me: I thought Malcolm and Manuel were doing that.

Nell: Poppy was training David as her sous chef.

Me: How was breakfast?

Nell: It had potential.

Me: That’s good, isn’t it?

Nell: Let’s just say David has a long way to go.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: The boiled eggs were hard and the toast was a little burnt but the portions were large.

Me: It’s a start.

Nell: I should also warn you that he’s going to attempt to make Poppy’s scones for tea tomorrow.

Me: Really?

Nell: Poppy wrote her recipes down for him somewhere so we’ve just got to find them.

Me: I put the scone recipe in my book.

Nell: So you did. Well done. I will let David know.

Me: Why tomorrow?

Nell: Alex’s children and Charlotte are coming here for tea after the scattering of her ashes.

Me: Yes, they are.

Nell: David wants Poppy to be there through her scones.

Me: Bless him.

Nell: I’ve told him she’ll definitely be watching over us and guiding him along.

Me: I’d like to think so.

Nell: I know so. She told me.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: You’re going to have to talk to David.

Me: I know he’s not allowed to stand on the table but I don’t care.

Nell: He thinks Poppy’s coming home. Every time he hears anything he rushes to the window.

Me: This is heartbreaking

Nell: I’ve tried to explain she isn’t coming back but he’s not listening.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. He’s such an optimistic dog. Maybe Harriet is the one to explain it all. She’s so good with him.

Nell: I’m good with him.

Me: You’re his aunt.

Nell: I completely understand how hard it is to accept that Poppy has gone. I’m struggling too.

Me: Yes. Kev and I still look for her everywhere and the house is so quiet.

Nell: If I couldn’t talk to her every day I’d be quite beside myself.

Me: You talk to her?

Nell: Of course I do. And she answers.

Me: How is she?

Nell: Extremely busy. Guardians have a lot of responsibilities.

Me: I can imagine.

Nell: Anyway, back to David. Maybe Harriet can talk to David on our walk.

Me: About that. You’re going to the vets today for your injection and to see Chloe for hydrotherapy and massage.

Nell: I know.

Me: Kev usually takes you but he’s dreading going to the vets after last week.

Nell: I understand.

Me: So we’re all taking you and while you’re in there he and I will take the puppies for a walk.

Nell: Without me?

Me: You’ll be inside exercising with Chloe.

Nell: Have I got this right? While I am being forced to walk through water in a small box you will all be enjoying a lovely walk?

Me: You get a lovely massage later and you usually float anyway.

Nell: Am I correct?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I’m going to have to find pocketfuls of happiness again, aren’t I?

Nell: Yes. It’s the only way through this.

Me: One was being back on our beach again and seeing you dogs enjoying yourselves.

Nell: Yes. Harriet was over the moon.

Me: She loves the sea and so does my Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: It was good for everyone.

Me: You enjoyed a paddle.

Nell: I did.

Me: But going there without Poppy was heartbreaking.

Nell: I know.

Me: Kev and I struggled to hold back the tears.

Nell: Just let them flow. It’s fine.

Me: Another pocketful of happiness was all the kind messages of support and cups of tea everyone sent us.

Nell: People are very kind.

Me: They are. It’s been quite overwhelming.

Nell: Poppy was greatly loved by so many.

Me: She was.

Nell: And she always will be.

Me: She would have enjoyed yesterday’s shenanigans a lot.

Nell: I’m sure she was directing it all from above.

Me: Gladys and the llamas are excellent sword fighters.

Nell: Poppy has been teaching them.

Me: And everyone’s hats were amazing.

Nell: I know you’re trying to stay upbeat for us all but there’s no need.

Me: Okay.

Nell: Just take one day at a time. That’s all you can do.

Me: This is going to be a very difficult week, Nell.

Nell: I know.

Me: We’re scattering my little sister Alex’s ashes at my mother’s grave on Thursday.

Nell: Yes.

Me: I have to be strong for her children.

Nell: You will be.

Me: What if I’m not?

Nell: Everyone will understand. But you can do this.

Me: How do you know?

Nell: Because I will be there by your side.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And Poppy will be watching over you.

Me: Yes. Sorry.