Me: Can we have a word about your behaviour at the Gastrobus by the beach, please?
Nell: I behaved perfectly.
Me: No, you did not.
Nell: I kept Kev’s place in the queue.
Me: There wasn’t anyone else there.
Nell: Winston was there.
Me: Suddenly he counts.
Nell: That’s a little harsh.
Me: Kev and I just wanted a cup of tea.
Nell: I know.
Me: But while Kev went back to the car to get his wallet you ordered burgers for everyone.
Nell: Not everyone. Only for me, David and Harriet.
Me: You didn’t include Winston and he was waiting patiently in the queue.
Nell: Winston is the Gastrobus dog. He can have burgers any time he likes.
Me: He’s not allowed.
Nell: There you are then.
Me: It was extremely naughty. Did Dave and Harriet know you were going to do that?
Me: They kept Kev busy by tangling up Dave’s lead.
Nell: We were very hungry. A Labrador needs sustenance after a long walk.
Me: You’d already had one of Herr Hoffmann’s big German breakfasts.
Nell: That was Morning Food.
Me: A good breakfast can keep you going all day.
Nell: Don’t make me laugh. You were just jealous.
Me: You can’t just do that, Nell.
Nell: I particularly enjoy the beach in October.
Me: You’re ignoring me again.
Nell: The crowds have all gone and we dogs can enjoy the freedom to roam freely.
Me: Kev was only expecting to pay for two teas.
Nell: It was a delightful day for everyone.
Me: And you ordered the Gastrobus special burgers too.
Nell: It’s Alice’s birthday tomorrow.
Me: Stop changing the subject.
Nell: I would have thought your daughter’s birthday would be the most important subject on your mind at the moment.
Me: Yes. Sorry.