Why is the Door Closed?

Me: Come away from the door, please.

Nell: Not until you explain why it’s closed.

Me: There’s stuff going on.

Nell: You can’t fool me. This door’s never closed.

Me: Steve needs to go out to his van so the front gate is open.

Nell: Who’s Steve?

Me: Steve’s fixing the shower. You know him. He was here all last week while I was in Germany.

Nell: We weren’t all trapped in the bedroom last week.

Me: This is where I write.

Nell: And?

Me: And you can be with me.

Nell: What if we don’t want to be with you?

Me: You usually do.

Nell: We weren’t imprisoned then.

Me: You’re not imprisoned, Nell. We don’t want you running out of the gate.

Nell: I’m an elderly Labrador. I don’t run anywhere.

Me: You know what I mean.

Nell: I’m surprised you think Poppy is going to put up with this infringement of her rights without a fight.

Me: Her sword is downstairs.

Nell: That’s what you think.

Me: There’s nothing wrong with spending quality time with me, is there?

Nell: Quality time?

Me: Yes.

Nell: You’re writing.

Me: I know.

Nell: And where’s the tea and biscuits?

Me: I’ll get some later.

Nell: There’s more to this. I heard you say to Kev that ‘they’ will be arriving later.

Me: Did you?

Nell: Yes. Who is ‘they’?

Me: Naughty Nigel and Boo are coming to stay for a few days.

Nell: Are you intending to imprison them in here too?

Me: No. Six dogs might be a bit much.

Nell: Didn’t think this through, did you?

Me: I was hoping the weather would be better and you could all play in the garden.

Nell: Play in the garden? We’re mature dogs not dancing llamas.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

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