Me: Come away from the door, please.
Nell: Not until you explain why it’s closed.
Me: There’s stuff going on.
Nell: You can’t fool me. This door’s never closed.
Me: Steve needs to go out to his van so the front gate is open.
Nell: Who’s Steve?
Me: Steve’s fixing the shower. You know him. He was here all last week while I was in Germany.
Nell: We weren’t all trapped in the bedroom last week.
Me: This is where I write.
Nell: And?
Me: And you can be with me.
Nell: What if we don’t want to be with you?
Me: You usually do.
Nell: We weren’t imprisoned then.
Me: You’re not imprisoned, Nell. We don’t want you running out of the gate.
Nell: I’m an elderly Labrador. I don’t run anywhere.
Me: You know what I mean.
Nell: I’m surprised you think Poppy is going to put up with this infringement of her rights without a fight.
Me: Her sword is downstairs.
Nell: That’s what you think.
Me: There’s nothing wrong with spending quality time with me, is there?
Nell: Quality time?
Me: Yes.
Nell: You’re writing.
Me: I know.
Nell: And where’s the tea and biscuits?
Me: I’ll get some later.
Nell: There’s more to this. I heard you say to Kev that ‘they’ will be arriving later.
Me: Did you?
Nell: Yes. Who is ‘they’?
Me: Naughty Nigel and Boo are coming to stay for a few days.
Nell: Are you intending to imprison them in here too?
Me: No. Six dogs might be a bit much.
Nell: Didn’t think this through, did you?
Me: I was hoping the weather would be better and you could all play in the garden.
Nell: Play in the garden? We’re mature dogs not dancing llamas.
Me: You’re right. Sorry.
