Nell’s Barking Orders

Me: Was that you barking orders at everyone?

Nell: Harriet was taking too long texting with Jim the Farm Dog on her iBone. We’re making a television series. There’s no time for idle chit chat.

Me: We’re not making it yet. We’ve got to raise the funds for the pilot episode first.

Nell: I know but look what we’ve managed to raise already.

Me: Yes, it’s absolutely amazing. People are being so generous. We can actually do this if we all pull together.

Nell: We can. We just have to keep spreading the word.

Me: Every little helps and each donation is one step closer to making this dream come true.

Nell: Yes. Onwards and Upwards.

Me: You don’t have to use that megaphone, Nell. Your voice is loud enough. It’s hurting my ears.

Nell: Stop complaining. Anyone would think you were a llama.

Me: I know my hair’s a bit fluffy this morning but it’s not that bad.

Nell: I’m talking about overreacting. One of the llamas fell over when David shut his clapperboard and then they all followed suit. Ridiculous animals.

Me: I think Dave might be getting a little carried away with it all.

Nell: He nearly felt the sharp end of Poppy’s sword at breakfast.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: I shouted ‘Take two’ and he thought I meant the bacon sandwiches.

Me: It’s an easy mistake to make.

Nell: Poppy was not amused.

Me: Is there any particular reason why she’s wearing jodhpurs and long boots today?

Nell: It’s got nothing to do with horses. She gave up riding years ago. Now, where’s my director’s chair?

Me: You do realise Shel’s directing, don’t you? You and I are going to be more low key.

Nell: Low key? It’s called Conversations with Nell.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

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