Me: You’re always looking out for me, aren’t you?
Nell: Someone has to.
Me: When we were on our walk down by the river and I lagged behind you came and found me.
Nell: I thought you might have lost your way.
Me: I can never lose my way when you’re around.
Nell: Where were you anyway? I looked for you everywhere.
Me: Taking photos of Harriet swimming in the river. I climbed down a grassy bank and then I had difficulty getting back up again.
Nell: You’re not supposed to be climbing anywhere. You’re only just getting over your back spasms.
Me: I know but Harriet was having so much fun that I wanted to try and capture it to look at later if that makes any sense.
Nell: It does. Happy memories are treasures waiting to comfort us at times when we’re feeling low.
Me: Exactly.
Nell: You’ve been struggling a little recently, haven’t you?
Me: Yes. Sometimes I think I’m falling apart.
Nell: You’re doing nothing of the kind. Not on my watch.
Me: It just feels like it. The trouble with grief is it comes in waves. You think you’re managing and then you hear some music, or see a photo and you’re right back there.
Nell: I know. One day at a time. There’s no rush.
Me: When Alex died we were all in shock and now reality is creeping in and with it the realisation that she is never coming back.
Nell: You are going to have these days.
Me: Yes. I hope she knows how dearly we loved her.
Nell: She does.
Me: I miss her so much, Nell.
Nell: Just know that we are here.
Me: Thank you.
Nell: You and me. Always. Remember?
Me: Yes. Sorry.
Nell: No sorries. Not today.
