Me: Those two are just adorable.
Nell: Who are we talking about now?
Me: Tony and Dave. They’re best buddies.
Nell: Don’t say buddy, please. The word is friend.
Me: That’s what we call a friend here in Devon.
Nell: They certainly seemed pleased to see each other.
Me: Yes, Tony’s been down in Cornwall singing at the Sea Shanty Festival in Falmouth so we haven’t seen him for a while.
Nell: I wonder if The Old Gaffers might reconsider David joining their crew now that he’s Mayor of Kingsbridge.
Me: Except he isn’t.
Nell: In fact a few sea shanties might really bring in the votes.
Me: I know you’re ignoring me.
Nell: Stephen Seagull wouldn’t have a chance against David’s wonderful baritone. Everyone knows the Beefies have horrible voices.
Me: How’s the campaign going?
Nell: Poppy’s scones are a huge hit but Petunia thinks we should offer a healthy option.
Me: Is Petunia still here?
Nell: Yes. She loves it so much down here that she’s decided to stay.
Me: That’s nice for Poppy.
Nell: Is it? Anyway, she’s suggested crispy seaweed or rice cakes.
Me: I don’t want those with jam and cream.
Nell: They would be served with hummus.
Me: You do realise this could be seen as bribery, don’t you?
Nell: I beg your pardon?
Me: Luring people in with tasty treats.
Nell: That’s rich coming from you.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: Do you think we dogs don’t notice how you use treats to make us do things?
Me: It works.
Nell: Only because we’ve decided to humour you.
Me: And you’re greedy.
Nell: A Labrador never refuses a treat. It would be rude and disrespectful.
Me: They certainly make you happy.
Nell: Treats make everyone happy. Shortbread biscuit?
Me: Thank you. Sorry.
