Saturday Delivery

Me: Davey’s sitting by the window again.

Nell: David is waiting for a bacon baguette. Well, that’s what he’s hoping it is.

Me: What did he order?

Nell: One of the llamas did the actual ordering. It was in the queue already and speaks a little French.

Me: What queue?

Nell: Haven’t you seen it? Look out of the window. It goes right up the garden and into the farmer’s field.

Me: Is that a guinea pig?

Nell: Yes, I’ve never seen it before either. Animals are coming here from far and wide.

Me: Poppy can’t be pleased.

Nell: She’s furious. Babycakes Gillespie is doing a roaring trade in coffees in the car park, however, while customers wait for delivery.

Me: How is it delivered?

Nell: By balloon.

Me: Excuse me?

Nell: Each order is dropped from the sky attached to a tiny little balloon. It’s rather clever.

Me: Mine was just sitting on the doorstep in a brown paper bag.

Nell: Maybe it varies.

Me: Does Dave know what he ordered?

Nell: I think it was a Bark Monsieur.

Me: There’s no such thing.

Nell: Well, he’s just gone outside to collect something.

Me: Gosh, it is a bacon baguette. I was expecting a toasted cheese and ham sandwich.

Nell: Did you order one then?

Me: No, I thought it was a croque monsieur.

Nell: Don’t be silly. Who would order a crocodile?

Me: Never mind. What does it say on that serviette?

Nell: I have no idea.

Me: ‘Merci d’avoir choisi Le Champignon Bleu, David Martin.’

Nell: Which means?

Me: Thank you for choosing The Blue Mushroom.

Nell: Does Le Champignon Bleu mean Blue Mushroom then?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Why didn’t you say before? That’s the name of the new French restaurant in town.

Me: I see. Sorry.

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