Under Suspicion

Me: Is there something wrong with the puppies?

Nell: They’re not puppies. They’ll be 6 in June?

Me: Age is irrelevant.

Nell: I shall remind you of that on your birthday.

Me: I knew you’d remember. Is the Birthday Ball for me?

Nell: I thought you were worried about David and Harriet.

Me: I am. They seem a bit down.

Nell: We still haven’t found Mutley’s cufflinks.

Me: What about your tiara and pearls?

Nell: Nothing.

Me: This whole thing has Lionel King written all over it.

Nell: Lionel swears he has nothing to do with it. PC Panda was here while you were at the hospital conducting interviews.

Me: Was he?

Nell: Yes, and until this has been sorted we are all under suspicion.

Me: Even me?

Nell: Everyone. In fact, I didn’t really want to tell you this.

Me: You’ll have to now you’ve started.

Nell: But Kev is right up there on the list of suspects.

Me: My Kev?

Nell: Our Kev, thank you very much.

Me: Why?

Nell: He used to be an actor.

Me: That’s got nothing to do with the price of fish.

Nell: Don’t bring fish into this, please.

Me: What else?

Nell: He can do a cockney accent.

Me: So?

Nell: The postcard has a cockney feel to it like Kev when he’s pretending to be an East End gangster.

Me: Anyone can do that.

Nell: You can’t.

Me: No, I’m terrible at being a gangster.

Nell: And Kev loves a practical joke.

Me: He wouldn’t steal anything.

Nell: PC Panda is just doing his job.

Me: Is that why the puppies are sad?

Nell: Yes, they don’t want Kev to go to jail.

Me: We have to do something, Nell.

Nell: Calm down. Miss Maple is on the case.

Me: Sorry.

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