

Me: You know how much I appreciate you all watching over me, don’t you?
Nell: It’s no bother.
Me: Can you tell Dave he doesn’t actually have to watch me?
Nell: What do you mean?
Me: I can tell that he’s really tired and he’s trying to keep his eyes open.
Nell: David takes his job extremely seriously.
Me: It’s absolutely fine for him to have a little nap.
Nell: No, it is not. You don’t see me sleeping on duty.
Me: You do it all the time and so does Harriet.
Nell: That’s where you’re wrong. We are just pretending to be asleep.
Me: You were snoring, Nell.
Nell: All part of the pretence. We obviously had you fooled.
Me: Where’s Poppy?
Nell: She’s gone with Kev to have her hair cut and nails trimmed. She wants to look sleek and dangerous for her sword awareness course in London next week.
Me: Wasn’t it supposed to be last Monday?
Nell: Yes, we cancelled. We didn’t want to be away from you before your operation.
Me: Bless you. Did the sword awareness people understand?
Nell: They’re cats so there isn’t a lot of understanding going on but they accepted our request and rescheduled it for this coming Monday.
Me: So the course is run by cats?
Nell: Yes. Cats are excellent swordsanimals. Everyone knows that.
Me: They don’t exactly stick to rules.
Nell: They do if they’ve made them.
Me: I can’t see Poppy listening to a cat.
Nell: She’ll have to if she’s wants to keep out of jail.
Me: Will you and Rupert be going in with her?
Nell: We’ve been invited on board.
Me: Where on earth is this happening?
Nell: The Cutty Bark.
Me: The historic sailing ship in Greenwich?
Nell: Of course.
Me: Gosh. Sorry.