Nell: You’re not going to believe this.
Me: I just might.
Nell: Poppy’s new haircut has gone straight to her head.
Me: Well, it would have done. That’s what it’s supposed to do.
Nell: No, she’s holding court in the living room.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: She keeps saying ‘All Labradors bow down before me!’
Me: Bow down?
Nell: Yes. She even placed her paws on Harriet’s head.
Me: Goodness me.
Nell: And then she jumped on the sofa and started making a speech about obedience and respect.
Me: Has she been eating any strange honey?
Nell: Not as far as I know.
Me: Or a biscuit?
Nell: Why bring biscuits into this?
Me: I often get offered a biscuit when I’m at the hairdressers and she’s just had her hair done.
Nell: I suppose she might have eaten one. I was given two treats when I went for my monthly injection yesterday.
Me: I hear you lost weight again. Well done. I’m afraid I’ve been a bit naughty over the last few days and eaten cake.
Nell: Of course you have. Cake is essential at times like these.
Me: Did Malcolm and Manuel have to bow down?
Nell: No. She was absolutely fine with them. They were tossing pancakes around like there’s no tomorrow.
Me: How odd.
Nell: Not really. It’s Saturday so we always have a special second breakfast and today it’s pancakes.
Me: I meant it’s odd it’s only Labradors, although people are always asking Dave to bow down.
Nell: They’re actually asking him to calm down because he’s over affectionate.
Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Maybe you should just humour Poppy?
Nell: I’m not bowing down to anyone. Thank you very much. No matter how short their hair.
Me: Of course not. Sorry.
