The Lionesses

Nell: How could you?

Me: What have I done now?

Nell: You gave me lettuce.

Me: You like salad. Now you’re on your diet I always make sure you get some vegetables and salad.

Nell: You know I don’t eat lettuce. Nasty stuff.

Me: I thought you might change your mind. You love tomatoes and cucumber.

Nell: Lettuce is like eating soggy paper.

Me: You didn’t have to throw it on the floor.

Nell: I most certainly did. I can’t stand the feel of it. Worse than bananas.

Me: It was worth a try.

Nell: It was not.

Me: Never mind. What about the Lionesses yesterday, Nell? Wasn’t that exciting?

Nell: Changing the subject from lettuce to female lions is not going to make me forget what you did.

Me: I’m talking about the Euros. The England’s women’s national football team won the final.

Nell: Yes, I know. I was there when you were jumping up and down in front of the television yelling ‘Go girls!’

Me: I’m so proud of them. I used to play football you know.

Nell: I didn’t know that.

Me: When Chris was young I played in the Mothers Team. I had a hard kick for a small person.

Nell: Words fail me.

Me: I’m not sure I would make the Grandmothers Team nowadays.

Nell: Please don’t try.

Me: Besides, the Elderly Lionesses doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Nell: You were never a Lioness in the first place.

Me: I was, Nell, and I still am. In my own way. In fact, I think we all are.

Nell: I’m quite happy staying a Labrador, thank you very much.

Me: You know what I mean.

Nell: Yes, I do.

Me: Poppy is definitely a Lioness.

Nell: Never serve me lettuce again.

Me: No. Sorry.

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