Me: I’m so glad Sally has forgiven Dave.

Nell: He’s still being kept under Strict Supervision.

Me: How?

Nell: Jonathan and Faye are kindly helping Harriet keep a close eye on him and he has promised not to drink any more cocktails.

Me: Where are they all, by the way?

Nell: Upstairs at the windows on Beefy Watch.

Me: Why?

Nell: Rumour has it that several seagulls were seen wearing cardigans down on the beach yesterday.

Me: The weather has turned a lot cooler.

Nell: That’s not the point. There was something distinctly Knitwear Wolfish about them.

Me: Gosh. Were they howling?

Nell: Too far away to tell but they looked a little hairy. Jonathan wants to go down to the beach later to investigate.

Me: Good idea. How is Rupert? I noticed he was quiet at dinner.

Nell: He’s lost his voice.

Me: Oh yes. How is he coping with that?

Nell: Calm and collected as always. He and I spent a quiet evening together.

Me: Understandable.

Nell: Of course. He can write things down you know.

Me: That’s not what I meant. Any news on the antidote?

Nell: Yes. Poppy is working on it now with Roley Moley.

Me: Poppy?

Nell: Yes. Sally wants to see if it works in a scone.

Me: Why?

Nell: The Beefies love Poppy’s scones. They can’t resist them.

Me: But it’s Rupert and Harriet who have lost their voices.

Nell: And it’s the Beefies who’ve taken them. We will need everyone to eat one.

Me: Even me?

Nell: Have you lost your voice?

Me: No, but I’m a little croaky.

Nell: Don’t go touching any of those scones, please. Goodness only knows what would happen.

Me: That makes me want to try one.

Nell: They are not for you.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Have you seen Dave?

Nell: David is downstairs in the kitchen with Harriet.

Me: Waiting for a second breakfast?

Nell: No. Keeping Out Of The Way.

Me: Oh dear. Did something happen at the pop-up bar yesterday?

Nell: I would say ask Rupert but then he would need a voice to answer me.

Me: Has Knitwear Wolf got a cold?

Nell: No. He nobly sacrificed his voice to save David’s.

Me: Oh no. What happened?

Nell: David was about to drink a Bantham Breeze cocktail, even though he had been expressly told not to, and Rupert had to jump in and drink it to save him.

Me: Who was supposed to drink it?

Nell: Malcolm. He was chosen by Sally as he is a shy flamingo with a very small voice. He was waiting in the wings.

Me: Or even with wings. See what I did there?

Nell: David says, in his defence, he’d drunk so many cocktails by then that he forgot.

Me: It was an easy mistake to make. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: He was supposed to Sip not Gulp.

Me: Is Sally very annoyed with him?

Nell: Extremely. He’s been told to stay under the kitchen table with Harriet until further notice.

Me: Did Jonathan manage to see what went in a Bantham Breeze?

Nell: Yes, he thinks he knows what the secret ingredient might be.

Me: What is it?

Nell: You’re going to have to wait. Roley Moley is working with Sally now on an antidote.

Me: In the meantime we must be prepared for Beefies howling at the moon.

Nell: Rupert has never howled at the moon in his entire life.

Me: True. I wonder if they’re all going to start wearing cardigans.

Nell: Don’t be ridiculous. It’s summer.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Did Chris get to the station on time?

Me: Yes, he’s on his way to London. Strange to think he’ll be back in Toronto by this evening.

Nell: Try not to be sad. You’ll see him again soon. Shannon and Marvin need him home now.

Me: I know.

Nell: I’ve just had Morning Thoughts with Jonathan and Faye.

Me: I see.

Nell: Jonathan’s feet were still a little sandy but otherwise everything was in order.

Me: I’m glad.

Nell: We’ve been making important plans for this evening’s pop-up bar.

Me: Tell me more.

Nell: Faye is going to greet guests with a hug.

Me: How lovely.

Nell: And Jonathan is going to make notes on the cocktails served.

Me: Who’s ordering them?

Nell: David has offered to be Chief Tester.

Me: Is that wise?

Nell: He’s been told to Sip not Gulp.

Me: I don’t think he knows how to Sip.

Nell: He’s been practising with water from a small bright red sandpit mould.

Me: Is anyone ordering a Bantham Breeze?

Nell: Sally is arriving soon so candidates will be discussed.

Me: What’s the criteria?

Nell: Who can most afford to lose their voice.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: And I have to say you are right up there.

Me: I am?

Nell: You’re a writer.

Me: I still need a voice, Nell. How else am I going to talk to you?

Nell: You can write your questions down beforehand and submit them for consideration.

Me: That sounds awful.

Nell: Needs must.

Me: What about Henry and Horst? We can hardly hear them anyway.

Nell: It’s not about the volume. It’s about what is said. Now, I need to prepare for Sally’s arrival.

Me: But I have important things to ask you.

Nell: All questions in duplicate, please.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: Do we have to watch this?

Me: You’re a bit grumpy this morning. Did you have a few too many cocktails at the Saucy Seagull bar yesterday evening?

Nell: I only had the one, if you must know.

Me: Why?

Nell: Someone arrived who I didn’t want to see.

Me: Who?

Nell: Let’s just say this film isn’t helping.

Me: It’s The Lion King and the children have never seen it.

Nell: I know but it’s inappropriate for the current situation.

Me: Harriet doesn’t mind. She’s enjoying it.

Nell: David got completely carried away during ‘Hakuna Matata’.

Me: I always think Dave is rather like a lion.

Nell: David is a Labrador in the prime of life.

Me: Yes, but there’s something liony about him.

Nell: That’s not a word and please remember that lions are not always our friends.

Me: Are we talking about that baddy Lionel King?

Nell: We are.

Me: Was he at the Saucy Seagull?

Nell: He was.

Me: Did he order a cocktail?

Nell: Of course he did. It’s a cocktail bar.

Me: Did his voice sound a little barky?

Nell: It did not.

Me: So, you wouldn’t say he sounded like Harriet?

Nell: I would not.

Me: That’s something.

Nell: No, it isn’t because everyone else did.

Me: Do you mean the Beefies?

Nell: Yes.

Me: All of them?

Nell: Definitely the ones at the bar.

Me: Gosh, that is a worry.

Nell: It is. If Harriet’s voice can be shared among many the potential for mischief is great.

Me: Did Sandy Shore agree to open the bar here?

Nell: Yes. Tomorrow evening.

Me: Chris flies back to Toronto tomorrow.

Nell: I know.

Me: I may be a little sad.

Nell: We will all be a little sad.

Me: Yes, we will. Sorry.

Me: Have you seen Jonathan and Faye?

Nell: They’re busy Being Comforting.

Me: Comforting?

Nell: Faye is helping Poppy relax and Jonathan is trying to console Harriet on your bed.

Me: Why is Harriet upset?

Nell: She isn’t allowed to sing at Sunday Songs.

Me: That’s mean. She loves singing.

Nell: Have you heard her recently?

Me: It’s not her fault, Nell.

Nell: We have quite enough in our bowls without Harriet squawking her way through ‘Oh, What a Beautiful Morning’.

Me: The Welsh Corgi Choir could just sing a bit louder.

Nell: It’s not happening.

Me: Why is Poppy so stressed?

Nell: Cooking Sunday roast for this many is a big job. David has requested extra Yorkshires to keep up morale.

Me: We can all help.

Nell: Poppy will be fine after a quick nap. Malcolm and Manuel are organising the bacon sandwiches for our second breakfast.

Me: Maybe we should skip the second breakfast?

Nell: You can’t have a Sunday without bacon.

Me: Of course. Has Dave heard from Sally yet?

Nell: Yes, she’s coming down here today. It seems Harriet sent her a voice message telling her to stay away and lie low.

Me: Why did she do that?

Nell: She didn’t.

Me: You just said she did.

Nell: It was someone using her voice.

Me: Do you think it was a Beefy?

Nell: I’m sure of it. We need Harriet’s voice back before those wretched hooligans do any more damage.

Me: Did you manage to contact Sandy Shore?

Nell: Not yet but the Saucy Seagull bar is back on Bantham later so we might go down there.

Me: Steer clear of the Bantham Breeze, Nell.

Nell: Credit me with a little sense.

Me: Yes.

Nell: David and I will stick to Dry Martinis.

Me: Right. Sorry.

Nell: I need you to report back on your visit to the beach with Harriet and the children.

Me: It was lovely down there, Nell. The sea was so refreshingly cool.

Nell: Just the facts, please, it’s far too warm for flowery extras.

Me: I wasn’t being flowery.

Nell: You do realise that I have an exhausted Labrador here who sounds like a seagull and eats mackerel for breakfast.

Me: Did Harriet actually want mackerel for breakfast?

Nell: I have no idea. Poppy said she sounded like she did. Now, tell me what happened.

Me: Harriet was nervous at first and climbed onto Chris’s lap in the car but as soon as we got to the beach she was really happy.

Nell: Squawking away with the other seagulls, I suppose.

Me: That’s the interesting thing. Jonathan noticed one of the seagulls was barking.

Nell: They are a little unstable.

Me: No, actually barking in Harriet’s voice.

Nell: Was it a run of the mill sort of seagull, or a Beefy?

Me: Definitely a Beefy. It had a nasty glint in its eye.

Nell: Maybe the Beefy swapped voices with Harriet?

Me: Yes.

Nell: We have to get it back.

Me: How are we going to do that?

Nell: The answer is obvious.

Me: Is it?

Nell: We’ll have to organise a cocktail party.

Me: This isn’t the time to be thinking of parties, Nell.

Nell: This isn’t any old party. The clue is in the cocktail.

Me: Is it?

Nell: Harriet lost her voice drinking a Bantham Breeze at the Saucy Seagull bar on the beach.

Me: Correct.

Nell: So, let’s ask Sandy Shore to open the Saucy Seagull here.

Me: We’re not on the beach.

Nell: It’s a pop-up. It can go anywhere. Do keep up.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: There’s an awful lot of discussion going on at the bird feeder.

Nell: I know. Faye and Poppy are monitoring it from upstairs.

Me: Is Faye part of Poppy’s Protection team too?

Nell: Yes. There’s been a worrying development.

Me: What’s happened?

Nell: Well, after much deliberation David was chosen to go down to the beach alone at 3pm.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Jonathan insisted on going down there first, however, to check out the lie of the land.

Me: He’s been to the beach before, Nell.

Nell: Jonathan wanted to position himself on River Beach to see what was going on.

Me: Right.

Nell: At the last moment Henry decided to go with him on his hat.

Me: A piratey one?

Nell: No. Chris provided a Canadian cap. Less conspicuous.

Me: Good idea. Where was Horst?

Nell: With David which was a blessing as he could communicate with Henry in Louse Code.

Me: What happened next?

Nell: David was just about to leave for the beach when Horst received an urgent message from Henry.

Me: What was it?

Nell: If I tell you then you must promise to keep it a secret.

Me: I’ll try.

Nell: It said: ‘Brown dog spotted on River Beach.’

Me: It is the dog beach.

Nell: I haven’t finished.

Me: Oh. Please continue.

Nell: ‘Suspect believed to be Harriet Martin.’

Me: Our Harriet?

Nell: Yes. She couldn’t bear the thought of David putting himself in danger and ran down to the beach.

Me: Sweet girl.

Nell: But that wasn’t all. You’re not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: The last part of the message was: ‘Subject squawking like a seagull.’

Me: So Harriet has her voice back?

Nell: Yes. But it isn’t hers.

Me: Oh no. Sorry.

Me: Jonathan, Poppy and the puppies have been by the front gate for ages. Are they waiting for someone?

Nell: Diversionary Tactics.

Me: They’re just chatting.

Nell: Harriet isn’t. She’s lost her voice.

Me: You know what I mean.

Nell: Look behind them at the bird bath.

Me: It’s Walter.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: They don’t want Walter listening to their plans.

Nell: They do.

Me: I don’t understand.

Nell: We were discussing Walter at Morning Thoughts when Jonathan made an excellent point.

Me: How come I wasn’t invited?

Nell: You’re not part of Poppy’s Protection Team.

Me: Neither is Jonathan.

Nell: Yes, he is. In fact he’s going over to the Big House later to choose his hat from The Cat’s dressing up box.

Me: Why can’t I have a hat?

Nell: Do you want to know Jonathan’s point or not?

Me: I do.

Nell: Jonathan said we need to know if Walter is really a spy for the Beefies or just Naturally Curious.

Me: Naturally Curious?

Nell: Some people are.

Me: I think I might be one of them.

Nell: I think you might be right.

Me: So, how are they going to find out?

Nell: Someone is going to go to the beach alone at exactly 3pm.

Me: That’s a dreadful idea.

Nell: If they’re approached by a Beefy in whatever shape or form we will know Walter is a traitor.

Me: What do you mean by whatever shape or form?

Nell: Beefies are masters of disguise.

Me: I don’t think a long black wig or a fake moustache is going to fool anyone. Who is the someone?

Nell: That’s what they’re deciding now.

Me: Dave has made himself awfully small.

Nell: He thinks he might be too big to be chosen.

Me: I hope he’s right. Sorry.

Nell: So, tell me again what happened at the airport when you went to collect Alice and the grandchildren.

Me: I was waiting for the first glimpse of them coming through Arrivals when the doors opened and Faye came rushing out straight into my arms shouting ‘Granny!’ followed by Jonathan Sky and Alice.

Nell: That must have been quite a moment.

Me: It was. I’m afraid I burst into tears.

Nell: Of course you did.

Me: And then when we got home Chris was there waiting for us.

Nell: The whole family reunited.

Me: Yes, finally. It’s absolutely wonderful to have them all here again. I feel like I might be dreaming.

Nell: Well, you’re not. Just look at the mess and chaos everywhere.

Me: Wonderful, isn’t it?

Nell: It is. I thought Poppy’s barbecue was excellent and the perfect choice for this hot weather.

Me: Yes, and it was warm enough for the children to play outside in the paddling pool all evening.

Nell: Now, you might not have noticed but Jonathan told me he and David spotted Walter watching everyone yesterday.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: He climbed onto the bird feeder with a long twig-like thing in his beak.

Me: Jonathan did?

Nell: No. Walter. In fact David demonstrated to us exactly how Walter looked at Morning Thoughts today using his neon green chew.

Me: Clever Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Do you think the long twig-like thing was significant?

Nell: Possibly.

Me: Might it just have been part of a nest?

Nell: We can’t know for sure. It may have been some sort of recording device.

Me: Gosh. How is Harriet’s voice?

Nell: Still missing. But don’t worry, now that the family are all here I am sure we will get Harriet’s voice back again.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: I’ve hardly slept at all, Nell. I’m so excited about seeing the family again.

Nell: Were you tracking Chris’s flight from Toronto?

Me: Maybe.

Nell: I know this is a challenge but you must try to stay calm and sensible.

Me: It’s been over two years and I can’t believe the day has finally arrived when we’re all going to be together again.

Nell: Well it has, so a few more hours shouldn’t be a problem.

Me: No.

Nell: Now, Kev and I will be collecting Chris from the station because you’ll be on your way to the airport to collect Alice and the grandchildren.

Me: I hope their flight isn’t delayed.

Nell: It is what it is.

Me: I wonder if Jonathan and Faye will recognise me.

Nell: Don’t be silly. You’ve FaceTimed them. They know you’re Granny.

Me: There are going to be tears.

Nell: Of course. Mainly from you.

Me: How’s Harriet? Still no sign of her voice?

Nell: No, but she’s getting used to writing things down and David is good at interpreting.

Me: Interpreting what?

Nell: Her needs.

Me: Like an extra bacon sandwich?

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Or a scone?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. So thoughtful.

Nell: David is a caring animal.

Me: Any news from Sally?

Nell: No. It’s all rather strange.

Me: You don’t think she’s been sampling the cocktails too, do you?

Nell: Sally’s drinking habits are none of our business.

Me: I mean she might have lost her voice. It’s odd that she hasn’t responded.

Nell: Talking of responding, my friend Dorothy has been rather silent over the last few days.

Me: You’d better call her now.

Nell: It can wait until the family are safely here. That’s all that matters today.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.