Me: Everyone’s been staring at Walter for quite some time.

Nell: We have reason to believe that Walter is heavily involved in the theft of Harriet’s voice.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: Don’t forget he was spying on you writing at your desk only a few days ago.

Me: Oh yes. He was looking through the window.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Could you finish telling me what happened to Harriet?

Nell: Of course. Where was I?

Me: Sandy Shore had just offered Harriet a cocktail.

Nell: Yes. It was blue which Harriet found a little disconcerting, but it had an umbrella and she was thirsty so she thought she would drink it while she waited for Sally to arrive.

Me: Did it have a name?

Nell: Yes. The Bantham Breeze. But that’s not the point.

Me: Good name. I must admit I might have tried it too.

Nell: May I continue?

Me: Please do.

Nell: Harriet waited and waited but there was no sign of Sally and she found herself drifting off to sleep.

Me: It’s the sea air. It can do that to you.

Nell: No. It was the cocktail. When she awoke she found herself alone on the beach.

Me: Where was the Saucy Seagull?

Nell: Sandy Shore had gone. See what I did there?

Me: Nice one.

Nell: And so had the bar.

Me: What? The whole place?

Nell: Yes. Pop ups come and go as they please.

Me: What did Harriet do?

Nell: She made her way home. It was only in the morning that she realised her voice had gone.

Me: But why didn’t she tell the police she’d been framed?

Nell: She was ashamed. She shouldn’t have gone there alone.

Me: Poor darling girl. We have to get her voice back.

Nell: We will.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Should we even be here, Nell?

Nell: We’re revisiting the scene of the crime.

Me: Do we know it was a crime?

Nell: Harriet’s voice has been stolen.

Me: Tell me again what she said.

Nell: She didn’t say anything. She’s lost her voice. Do keep up.

Me: Tell me what she wrote.

Nell: Harriet received a text on her iBone asking her to come to the Saucy Seagull at once but to tell no one.

Me: And to bring a tennis ball.

Nell: No. The ball was her idea.

Me: Why did she go?

Nell: It was signed S.

Me: I never sent that text, Nell. Why would I?

Nell: You aren’t the only S.

Me: Susan wouldn’t either. I know her father’s a baddy but she’s a dear little seagull.

Nell: Not Susan. It’s obvious who Harriet thought it was. She is a spy after all.

Me: Why would Sally do that to her?

Nell: She didn’t. I said that’s who Harriet thought it was, not who it really was. You just mentioned him.

Me: Stephen Seagull? But why did he sign it?

Nell: He knew Harriet would think it was Sally and it amused him I expect.

Me: The rotten scoundrel. What happened then?

Nell: Harriet arrived at the Saucy Seagull to find Sandy Shore waiting for her.

Me: To be fair that’s what you’d expect to find on a beach.

Nell: I meant Stephen Seagull’s partner in crime.

Me: Maybe Sandy sent the text?

Nell: That’s not the point.

Me: No.

Nell: Sandy welcomed Harriet and offered her a cocktail.

Me: Was it a Dry Martini, ‘shaken not stirred’?

Nell: No.

Me: I bet it was a Hanky Panky.

Nell: Enough with the cocktails. Do you want to know what happened next?

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Is it me?

Nell: Probably.

Me: Or does my Big Brave Beautiful Boy look a little fierce this morning?

Nell: David is part of Poppy’s Protection Team.

Me: Protection?

Nell: Nobody is allowed near Harriet.

Me: I notice he’s got his Neon Green Chew behind him, just in case.

Nell: Chewing calms David’s nerves. He’s not used to being fierce and he can’t keep it up for very long.

Me: Has Harriet said anything yet?

Nell: No. She’s still refusing to cooperate.

Me: The police aren’t going to put up with this for much longer.

Nell: I know. Poppy’s trying to reason with her now.

Me: Should we ask Sally to come down here?

Nell: Sally is being strangely silent about the whole thing.

Me: Strangely silent? Hang on a minute, Nell. You might be on to something. Has Harriet said anything at all since she came back from the beach?

Nell: No, I don’t think she has.

Me: Not even ‘Pass me the sugar?’

Nell: She doesn’t take sugar.

Me: Maybe she’s lost her voice?

Nell: It’s a possibility, I suppose.

Me: I’ve had an idea.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: Maybe someone has taken her voice.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Haven’t you noticed the birds are a little quieter at the moment?

Nell: It’s the heat.

Me: We need to find out if Harriet had a drink at the pop-up beach bar.

Nell: She’s 5 now. If she wants a small cocktail it’s allowed.

Me: I need a pen and paper.

Nell: This is not the time for you to be writing. We’re supposed to be helping Harriet.

Me: It’s for Harriet so she can tell us what’s going on.

Nell: That’s actually quite a good idea. How unlike you.

Me: Yes, I know. Sorry.

Me: Why is PC Panda here again?

Nell: You’re not going to believe this.

Me: I just might.

Nell: Harriet is refusing to cooperate.

Me: What?

Nell: She’s defiant.

Me: That’s not like Harriet. She’s usually so polite.

Nell: She even started playing Cheeky Animals during her interview.

Me: No.

Nell: And when the questioning went on too long she closed her eyes and went to sleep.

Me: Gosh.

Nell: PC Panda says if this continues he will have no choice but to arrest her.

Me: For what?

Nell: Being a Naughty Animal.

Me: At least she isn’t Bad.

Nell; Not yet. David is distraught. He only had one breakfast and thinks he might skip elevenses.

Me: Dave never skips elevenses.

Nell: I’m not sure I’m going to manage much either.

Me: Is there anything we can do?

Nell: Rupert has asked if he might be allowed some time alone with her.

Me: What a good idea. If anyone can get through to Harriet it’s Knitwear Wolf.

Nell: Yes, I have great faith in him.

Me: And he’s wearing the most lovely light cardigan today in a sort of sandy brown.

Nell: Rupert has style.

Me: Talking of style, I noticed Poppy slicing cucumbers with a cutlass in a rather theatrical way.

Nell: There is no other way to use a cutlass but I know what you mean.

Me: She was wearing breeches and boots which seems unusual in this weather.

Nell: I’m aware.

Me: Not to mention the eyepatch.

Nell: She’s turned Piratey again.

Me: That explains the three-cornered hat. She must be boiling.

Nell: She’s positively steaming. I’m afraid there might be a fight if Harriet is detained.

Me; Oh look. There’s Knitwear Wolf. I hope he was successful.

Nell: He’s shaking his head.

Me: Oh dear. Sorry.

Me: Have you seen Harriet this morning?

Nell: I have.

Me: Is she alright? Only, she didn’t come upstairs after breakfast for her usual cuddle.

Nell: I’m afraid cuddles are out of the question at the moment.

Me: Why?

Nell: Harriet is being interviewed by the police.

Me: What?

Nell: Harriet has been a very naughty animal.

Me: What’s she supposed to have done?

Nell: CCTV footage shows a chocolate Labrador with an extremely sandy tennis ball on the steps to the beach yesterday evening.

Me: But Harriet was out the front on the terrace with Dave, wasn’t she?

Nell: I’m afraid she wasn’t.

Me: Are you sure?

Nell: Yes. I quote: ‘When questioned, Mr David Martin was forced to admit that his darling sister Harriet was not with him all evening.’

Me: Darling sister. Bless him.

Nell: ‘Mr Martin thought the accused was in the back garden visiting Beauregard and Mrs King.’

Me: Are they being questioned too?

Nell: We all are.

Me: But what’s Harriet supposed to have done?

Nell; She went to the beach alone.

Me: She shouldn’t have done that.

Nell: No, she shouldn’t.

Me: I bet she was spying for Sally.

Nell: I’ve spoken to Sally. This was not a spying mission.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: It seems that Harriet went to the beach alone simply to have fun.

Me: She does love the sea.

Nell: Beach visits are not allowed without supervision. Everyone knows that. All dogs must be accompanied by a responsible adult.

Me: Hang on a minute. There aren’t any CCTV cameras on the beach.

Nell: Well, someone took photos of Harriet and sent them to the police.

Me: But who would want to harm sweet Harriet?

Nell: Come on Sherlock Martin. Who recently opened a beach bar?

Me: Of course. Sorry.

Me: You’re priceless sometimes. You really are.

Nell: I like to think I’m valued all the time but when was this exactly?

Me: When Kev was telling me about the work he’s been doing on the front garden and you started grumbling away next to him.

Nell: He went on too long.

Me: No, he didn’t.

Nell: And he was sitting on the arm of the sofa and not next to me stroking my head.

Me: You didn’t need to continuously grumble under your breath like that.

Nell: Somebody had to tell him.

Me: He completely lost his train of thought.

Nell: Yes I know, it works every time.

Me: Everything can’t always be about you.

Nell: Why not?

Me: Never mind. Is there any news on the pop-up?

Nell: Rumour has it that the Beefies are involved.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: We knew they were diversifying after the strange deliveries.

Me: What makes you think they’re behind it all?

Nell: Several things. The first one being the name.

Me: What is it?

Nell: The Saucy Seagull.

Me: That’s a good name for a beach pop-up bar.

Nell: Yes, it is.

Me: And the second?

Nell: Sandy.

Me: Sandy? It’s on a beach, Nell. There’s bound to be sand.

Nell: No. Sandy Shore. You must have heard her music. She was quite famous for a while.

Me: Puppet on a String?

Nell: No. She’s a real bird.

Me: Does she like to sing barefoot?

Nell: Of course she does. She’s a seagull not a horse.

Me: Yes, silly of me.

Nell: Anyway, she’s running the place.

Me: Is she?

Nell: With her partner.

Me: Do you mean C Shore? See what I did there?

Nell: No. Stephen Seagull.

Me: The evil head of the Beefies?

Nell: Yes.

Me: Oh. Sorry.

Me: The evening sun was absolutely beautiful on the fields yesterday.

Nell: Was it?

Me: Yes. Dave and I watched it for a while and then he decided he needed a nap.

Nell: I don’t blame him. There’s only so long you can look at fields.

Me: And while he was sleeping the sun bathed him in its gentle light.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: Highlighting his glossy coat. It was magical.

Nell: Good grief. Have you finished?

Me: Yes.

Nell: Now, you know I’m not usually one to gossip.

Me: But you’re going to all the same.

Nell: Do you want to hear it or not?

Me: Absolutely.

Nell: My friend Dorothy was browsing the rails at the Maine Coons’ shop in town when she heard something rather intriguing.

Me: Did she find anything to buy?

Nell: No, they are minimalists. There was hardly anything there. But that’s not the point.

Me: No.

Nell: A pair of smartly dressed spaniels were discussing the merits of cocktails over wine.

Me: That’s not particularly intriguing. I prefer wine, if I’m honest.

Nell: There’s nothing like a cocktail to round off the day. But that’s not the point either. Stop interrupting.

Me: Just saying.

Nell: One of them suggested they try the latest pop-up down on the beach.

Me: What latest pop-up?

Nell: Exactly. Well, Dorothy’s ears pricked up at that. She loves nothing more than a pop-up.

Me: Don’t we all.

Nell: So she asked them which beach.

Me: Good for her.

Nell: And they said ours.

Me: Do the spaniels have a beach?

Nell: No, our beach. The one we walk on.

Me: The dog beach?

Nell: The little red boathouse to be more specific.

Me: Now, that is intriguing.

Nell: I told you it would be.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Nell: I’ve something extremely important to discuss with you.

Me: What have I done now?

Nell: You’re being watched.

Me: I can see that, Nell. You’re giving me one of your hard stares.

Nell: Not by me. Look at the window by your desk.

Me: What?

Nell: Do it casually. No sudden movements.

Me: Is that Walter? Is he spying on me?

Nell: I’m afraid Walter might have been turned.

Me: Turned into what? He still looks like a pigeon to me.

Nell: Turned to the dark side.

Me: Gosh. I hope not.

Nell: David has been saying this for quite some time.

Me: Dave and Walter have history with that staring at each other game.

Nell: Cowardy Custard is much more than a game.

Me: Is it though?

Nell: It’s a battle of wills and David is extremely good at it.

Me: Well, I could certainly do without Walter spying on me.

Nell: You may have to close your curtains.

Me: I’m not doing that, Nell. It’s where I write. It’s my special view.

Nell: It’s your decision but don’t say I didn’t warn you. If you’re not careful your words may no longer be your own.

Me: Walter can’t see what I’m writing.

Nell: Are you sure about that?

Me: Fairly.

Nell: Just saying.

Me: Talking of views, Babycakes Gillespie is very colourful today. Even his bagels are starry and stripy.

Nell: Of course they are. It’s 4th July.

Me: Oh yes. I wondered why the llamas were wearing top hats and twirling batons.

Nell: Any excuse to show off.

Me: Well, Happy 4th July to our American friends.

Nell: Yes. Although it can be rather a difficult day for animals.

Me: Why?

Nell: Fireworks are not an animal’s friend. Hopefully people will remember that.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Some days all you can do is gaze in wonder.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: The world is such a beautiful place.

Nell: Yes, it certainly is.

Me: And we are so lucky to live where we do.

Nell: We are.

Me: We should stop and appreciate it more often.

Nell: We should.

Me: That’s why I love this photo.

Nell: I see.

Me: You dogs and Kev simply taking a moment to appreciate the beauty all around you.

Nell: We’re actually thinking about the annoying no dogs allowed on the big beach rule and wondering if we might walk through anyway.

Me: Oh, well that makes this photo feel quite different.

Nell: Yes, it does.

Me: More like gazing at something you cannot have.

Nell: Quite.

Me: So near and yet so far.

Nell: Absolutely.

Me: I prefer my gazing in wonder explanation.

Nell: So do I. It’s Sunday after all. A day of giving thanks.

Me: Yes.

Nell: David is gazing in wonder at a pile of bacon sandwiches.

Me: Hasn’t he had breakfast yet?

Nell: Only his first breakfast. A small bowl of cereal to get him through to second breakfast.

Me: Why does Dave have two breakfasts on Sundays?

Nell: What do you mean? We all have two breakfasts on Sundays.

Me: I don’t.

Nell: Yes, you do.

Me: I just have my morning cereal as usual.

Nell: What about the bacon sandwich you always enjoy after Sunday Songs?

Me: That’s elevenses.

Nell: Is that what you call it?

Me: Yes.

Nell: So, it’s all a matter of interpretation then isn’t it?

Me: I suppose it is.

Nell: Except we both know that you have two breakfasts on Sunday and elevenses is never more than a biscuit and a cup of tea.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Look at your smiling face. We ended up having a lovely day, didn’t we? Despite having no internet for most of it.

Nell: You certainly enjoyed your dinner out.

Me: It was our friends last evening down here.

Nell: Why is there a photo of Shelagh?

Me; She came to the pub with Terry and Marian.

Nell: So dogs are allowed?

Me: Oh yes. The Sloop even welcomes them.

Nell: May I remind you that part of my senior dog privileges is that I join you on excursions?

Me: I thought you would be tired after our long walk on the beach.

Nell: I am never too tired for dinner.

Me: Also one dog per table is probably enough and Shelagh was ever so well behaved.

Nell: What is that supposed to mean?

Me: You’ve become awfully bossy in your old age Nell, and rather vocal.

Nell: I like to speak my mind.

Me: Shelagh had quite a difficult start to life so it’s wonderful to see how happy she is now.

Nell: I see what you’re doing.

Me: Do you?

Nell: Reminding me of Shelagh‘s past. Well, I’m coming with you next time.

Me: Yes, you definitely are.

Nell: We had a lovely evening without you. In case you’re interested.

Me: I am.

Nell: Poppy made a cottage pie with an extra one for David to cheer him up.

Me: How kind.

Nell: We Skyped with Sally in London and Marvin in Toronto.

Me: Have Chris and Shannon moved into the new apartment?

Nell: Not yet. Chris is unwell. We’re hoping it’s just a bad cold but he is going to test for Covid.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: Stop right now. He isn’t flying until 11th July. He has plenty of time to get well.

Me: Yes. Sorry.