Me: Good morning, your Majesty.
Nell: The Cat has gone too far this time.
Me: I’m delighted you’ve been chosen as Jubilee Queen. You definitely had my vote.
Nell: While I greatly appreciate all the support, I can’t say I’m happy with The Cat’s choice of crowns.
Me: If it was up to me I would say the tiara is a little more you.
Nell: It’s not very discreet though, is it?
Me: I don’t think discreet is part of The Cat’s vocabulary.
Nell: What’s wrong with a simple hat and a string of pearls?
Me: A hat’s not enough. You’re the Jubilee Queen. The public have spoken.
Nell: At least I’m not alone.
Me: Exactly. Dave will be beside you as the Jubilee King.
Nell: It’s not only David. There’s more than one queen.
Me: I know but Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will be busy elsewhere.
Nell: I’m talking about the others.
Me: What others?
Nell: That’s what Poppy was telling Kev.
Me: What do you mean?
Nell: I am not the only queen.
Me: Who else is there?
Nell: Harriet has been chosen as The Young Queen.
Me: What a lovely idea.
Nell: There’s more.
Nell: Poppy is appearing as The Pirate Queen.
Me: With her cutlass?
Nell: Of course. But that’s not all and you’re not going to believe this.
Me: I just might.
Nell: Gladys is performing as The Dancing Queen.
Me: With the llamas?
Nell: Yes, in full ABBA costume along with the Welsh Corgi Choir.
Me: Not in platform boots?
Nell: Oh yes.
Me: That’s an accident waiting to happen.
Nell: It doesn’t bear thinking about.
Me: I had platform boots when I was a teenager in pale blue and yellow.
Nell: I wish you hadn’t told me that.