Me: There are three queens and a king downstairs.
Nell: Is Poppy back from her swim?
Me: Yes, looking wild, wet and piratey.
Nell: Swimming is her new passion along with eating fish.
Me: Does she catch them herself?
Nell: No. Poppy gets her fish from Sid the Otter like everyone else.
Me: I see.
Nell: What do you think of the other crowns?
Me: Dave looks magnificent as Jubilee King. Wonderfully noble and royal. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.
Nell: I agree. David is an excellent choice.
Me: Harriet makes the perfect Young Queen. She’s so pretty.
Nell: She is.
Me; And then there’s Gladys. The Dancing Queen.
Nell: With a fluffy crown.
Me: It’s only small.
Nell: Gladys has more than enough fluff of her own. Who wears a pink crown?
Me: I think it suits her.
Nell: The llamas would agree.
Me: I think The Cat has outdone itself. All the crowns are perfectly suited to the animal wearing them.
Nell: I’ve decided on the tiara, by the way.
Nell: Now, I’d like to talk pavlovas.
Me: Not what I expected.
Nell: Somebody suggested passion fruit but I’m not convinced.
Me: Was it Mary Berry?
Nell: You mean Beary Merry.
Me: Are we talking about the same person?
Nell: I’m talking about a hugely beloved and extremely sprightly bear of advanced years with a wide experience of making desserts of any kind.
Me: Sounds about right.
Nell: But her pavlova contains mango and limoncello.
Me: Imagine if Dave ate that by mistake?
Nell: David is doing no such thing. A king does not graze.
Me: Does he know that?
Nell: It’s in the book.
Me: What book?
Nell: The Book of How to Behave at a Platinum Jubilee. Haven’t you read it?
Me: No. Sorry.