Three Queens, a King and a Pavlova

Me: There are three queens and a king downstairs.

Nell: Is Poppy back from her swim?

Me: Yes, looking wild, wet and piratey.

Nell: Swimming is her new passion along with eating fish.

Me: Does she catch them herself?

Nell: No. Poppy gets her fish from Sid the Otter like everyone else.

Me: I see.

Nell: What do you think of the other crowns?

Me: Dave looks magnificent as Jubilee King. Wonderfully noble and royal. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: I agree. David is an excellent choice.

Me: Harriet makes the perfect Young Queen. She’s so pretty.

Nell: She is.

Me; And then there’s Gladys. The Dancing Queen.

Nell: With a fluffy crown.

Me: It’s only small.

Nell: Gladys has more than enough fluff of her own. Who wears a pink crown?

Me: I think it suits her.

Nell: The llamas would agree.

Me: I think The Cat has outdone itself. All the crowns are perfectly suited to the animal wearing them.

Nell: I’ve decided on the tiara, by the way.

Me: Good.

Nell: Now, I’d like to talk pavlovas.

Me: Not what I expected.

Nell: Somebody suggested passion fruit but I’m not convinced.

Me: Was it Mary Berry?

Nell: You mean Beary Merry.

Me: Are we talking about the same person?

Nell: I’m talking about a hugely beloved and extremely sprightly bear of advanced years with a wide experience of making desserts of any kind.

Me: Sounds about right.

Nell: But her pavlova contains mango and limoncello.

Me: Imagine if Dave ate that by mistake?

Nell: David is doing no such thing. A king does not graze.

Me: Does he know that?

Nell: It’s in the book.

Me: What book?

Nell: The Book of How to Behave at a Platinum Jubilee. Haven’t you read it?

Me: No. Sorry.

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