Any Questions?

Me: Why are you and Poppy staring at me like that?

Nell: Poppy reported at Morning Thoughts that you’ve been behaving rather strangely. The word she used was ‘jumpy’.

Me: Was it?

Nell: Yes, and she says you’ve been particularly awkward around her since yesterday.

Me: Have I?

Nell: Stop doing that.

Me: Doing what?

Nell: Questioning everything I say.

Me: Am I?

Nell: Good grief. What’s the matter with you?

Me: I don’t like the cutlass.

Nell: Why are you whispering?

Me: Is she wearing it?

Nell: Of course she is. I told you she was exploring her piratey side.

Me: I know but it’s making me ever so nervous.

Nell: Why? You never worried about the sword.

Me: I wouldn’t say that.

Nell: I just did.

Me: I mean I never particularly liked the sword but I was used to it.

Nell: So, what is your problem with the cutlass then?

Me: The cutlass is on her belt. She could whip it out at any moment.

Nell: She could and she does. Malcolm and Manuel are witnesses to that.

Me: Was anyone hurt?

Nell: Only a banana. She chopped its head off.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: It didn’t feel anything.

Me: Very funny.

Nell: Is there something you would like to tell Poppy while she’s here?

Me: No.

Nell: Are you sure? No health and safety regulations?

Me: Well, I would ask her to use her cutlass wisely.

Nell: Obviously.

Me: And well.

Nell: Wisely and well? This is 2022 not Shakespearean times.

Me: I just want her to be careful.

Nell: Why not say so at the beginning? Poppy is always careful. You have nothing to fear.

Me: That’s a relief.

Nell: Unless you misbehave or provoke her.

Me: What?

Nell: Just joking.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

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