You’re not going to believe this

Me: Something very strange is going on.

Nell: So, you’ve noticed.

Me: The Cat arrived for Sunday Songs in an excessively extravagant hat.

Nell: Yes.

Me: The Cat never attends Sunday Songs. It’s hardly ever seen before 10am and then only in a silk dressing gown with a double espresso.

Nell: I know.

Me: And you and Dave have been sitting on the sofa all morning in deep conversation ending with Dave hanging his head in complete devastation.

Nell: Complete devastation? Stop exaggerating. David simply needs time to process the news.

Me: And you were both lying on the old green ‘drying the dogs after their swim’ towel.

Nell: Which has nothing to do with anything apart from sandy wet coats.

Me: Hang on. Process what news?

Nell: You’re not going to believe this.

Me: You might be right.

Nell: There’s something about The Cat we never noticed until today.

Me: It’s rather flamboyant and secretly listens to Barry Manilow?

Nell: Everyone knows that.

Me: What then?

Nell: The Cat is a Maine Coon.

Me: Oh my goodness. It is. Why didn’t we realise?

Nell: I don’t know. Maybe because The Cat is The Cat and we see it every day.

Me: You don’t think The Cat is in league with the two fluffy Maine Coons, do you?

Nell: Of course not.

Me: You don’t think The Cat is actually the evil head of a large Labrador stealing network?

Nell: Just listen to yourself.

Me: It’s awfully fond of Dave.

Nell: Exactly. The Cat and David are best friends. It would never harm him.

Me; Why is Dave hanging his head then?

Nell: Because The Cat’s Mother would.

Me: The Cat’s Mother?

Nell: And so would its twin sisters.

Me: Twin sisters?

Nell: Stop repeating everything I say.

Me: Sorry.

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