Me: Thank goodness the power has finally come back on.

Nell: Speak up, please. I can hardly hear you above this wretched wind.

Me: Storm Eunice is rather noisy.

Nell: Storm Eunice is extremely annoying. I can’t hear myself think with all that howling going on.

Me: It’s what gales do.

Nell: You do realise our grocery delivery has been cancelled?

Me: We’ll manage, Nell. Poppy always has the freezer well stocked.

Nell: Poppy is furious. She says a storm is not going to stop her.

Me: Well, she’s wrong. We all need to stay at home today. There’s no point in anyone putting themselves in danger.

Nell: There’s no chance of David doing that. He’s just sleeping by the fire.

Me: I know. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. Nothing bothers him.

Nell: Lack of food might.

Me: We’re fine, Nell. We’ve got plenty of biscuits and there’s lots of water.

Nell: Biscuits and water? I hope they’re shortbread biscuits and please use the water to make a pot of Earl Grey tea.

Me: Harriet seems worried.

Nell: She doesn’t like storms. I think I might ask Rupert to read to us all in front of the fire later. That always helps.

Me: Yes, Knitwear Wolf has a comfortable growly sort of voice. Rather like Kev.

Nell: Dear James Beddall suggested ‘David Copperfield’.

Me: Yes. It’s an excellent idea. You can’t beat a bit of Dickens on a blustery day.

Nell: We certainly won’t be feeling the cold. All the outside animals have come inside until the storm is over so there’s bound to be some Storm Surviving Snuggling.

Me: Snuggling sounds fine to me, Nell. As long as I can snuggle with you.

Nell: I shall make an exception today but don’t get used to it.

Me: No. Sorry.

Me: Look at you in the water, Nell. Your little legs are working away.

Nell: Where did you get those from?

Me: Chloe sent them to me. She thought I’d like to see how well you’re doing and how calm and well behaved you are during your therapy sessions.

Nell: Calm and well behaved? I’ve taken tea with The Queen. I should think I know exactly how to behave in all situations.

Me: Yes. I know. Chloe is ever so pleased with you.

Nell: Well, I’m glad. She is a sweet young lady and I enjoy spending time with her.

Me: The feeling is mutual. In fact I think you might just be one of her favourites.

Nell: Most kind.

Me: You’re a really special dog, Nell.

Nell: Enough sentimentality. We have things to discuss.

Me: Ok.

Nell: Now, my friend Dorothy says Pamela noticed a lion in Barks and Spencer yesterday afternoon.

Me: Is that Pamela the Pyrenean Mountain Dog?

Nell: Yes.

Me: I expect the lion noticed her too.

Nell: Not necessarily. Pamela can be extremely discreet for a large animal. Unlike some.

Me: What’s that supposed to mean?

Nell: You know perfectly well. Anyway, the lion bought a packet of cheese straws and a pair of pyjamas.

Me: Interesting choice.

Nell: Yes. It says llama to me.

Me: I agree.

Nell: The lion paid with a card.

Me: Contactless?

Nell: Naturally. It won’t have The Cat’s PIN number.

Me: Why hasn’t The Cat blocked its card?

Nell: Sally asked it not to. She’s covered the outstanding payments so it can still be used.

Me: That’s excellent news. The Cat can shop at Barks again.

Nell: Not without its card it can’t.

Me: It could use cash.

Nell: Cash? The Cat doesn’t do cash.

Me: Of course. Sorry.

Me: Harriet’s not letting Dave out of her sight, is she?

Nell: She’s his older sister. She has to keep him safe.

Me: I feel the same way about my sisters.

Nell: And I feel the same way about you.

Me: That’s lovely.

Nell: I don’t know about lovely. It’s extremely tiring.

Me: You don’t have to worry about me.

Nell: Did I, or did I not, hear you saying to Robin this morning that you might just pop into Barks and Spencer to see if there were any lions buying scotch eggs?

Me: I wasn’t going as me, Nell. I was going in disguise.

Nell: Please don’t tell me you’re intending to wear your all-encasing hat?

Me: No. Dave is lending me his sunglasses and I have a long raincoat.

Nell: Are you taking a magnifying glass?

Me: How did you know?

Nell: Because that’s what spies do in cartoons.

Me: Yes.

Nell; Good grief. How many times do I have to tell you that you’re not cut out to be a spy.

Me: I just want to help.

Nell: Then stay here and leave it to the professionals.

Me: Robin thought it was a good idea.

Nell: Robin is being kind.

Me: Yes, I caught him on a kind day. He varies.

Nell: What do you mean?

Me: Some days he’s much nicer than others. He seems to be happier on his fatter days.

Nell: You do know there are two robins, don’t you? I have told you this before.

Me: Oh yes. I’d completely forgotten.

Nell: This is why you cannot be trusted to do things on your own.

Me: Rubbish.

Nell: You’ve no time for spying anyway. You have a writing workshop all afternoon.

Me: Oh yes. Thank goodness you reminded me.

Nell: Exactly.

Me: Sorry.

Me: Why was Dave walking around this morning with my necklace around his neck and a bow in his hair?

Nell: Quiet. He’s taken them off now and he’s sleeping.

Me: But why was he wearing them in the first place?

Nell: It wasn’t supposed to be a necklace. It was a gold medal. And it most certainly wasn’t a bow. It was a Well Done rosette.

Me: He got that rosette with Kev at the dog show years ago.

Nell: Yes, I know. It was all that we could find at short notice. You don’t have medals and rosettes lying around. We had to improvise.

Me: Why?

Nell; Because David was Awfully Brave and deserved an award.

Me: Oh, I see. You’re talking about his split nail.

Nell: Yes. The vet had to take it off and Kev says he was extremely brave.

Me: He was. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. It must have hurt a lot.

Nell: I think it has been hurting for quite a while. He hasn’t been himself for a few days.

Me: No, he was unusually quiet at the weekend. I thought it was all the noise. We lead such a quiet life.

Nell: We do not. Where did you get that idea from? Lions and tigers in the treehouse. Seals and penguins in the pool, not to mention llamas in the field.

Me: Don’t forget The Angry Cat in the Big House.

Nell: Is The Cat still angry?

Me: Very. When it heard about the salmon en croute it actually hissed.

Nell: Rupert thinks Lionel King is behind it all.

Me: Any reason why?

Nell: He shops at Barks and Spencer and he loves giving mean surprises.

Me: Rupert is such a wise old wolf.

Nell: Less of the old, please.

Me: Sorry.

Me: The puppies are looking particularly lovely today.

Nell: Yes, they are.

Me: But I get the feeling Poppy isn’t too keen on Valentine’s Day.

Nell: It’s one of the busiest days of the year for anyone involved in the hospitality industry.

Me: Poppy isn’t involved in the hospitality industry.

Nell: I beg your pardon? Poppy is a chef. She runs the kitchen here at Corner Cottage.

Me: I know, but today’s no different.

Nell: Yes, it is. Everyone wants an intimate dinner for two.

Me: Even Henry and Horst?

Nell: Of course. They are dating a pair of butterfly sisters.

Me: Kev and I are just going to have bubble and squeak made from yesterday’s leftovers.

Nell: I think you will find Kev has other plans.

Me: How exciting.

Nell: Poppy is rushed off her paws preparing it all. Thank goodness for Malcolm and Manuel.

Me: There do seem to be an awful lot of cards and roses around this year and most of them are for the puppies.

Nell: Have you seen the Daily Growl?

Me: No. Not yet.

Nell: David and Harriet have been chosen as Growl Valentines.

Me: What’s a Growl Valentine?

Nell: Readers vote every year for their favourites.

Me: I didn’t know. Do you think Sally and Jim will approve?

Nell: Sally finds it amusing that her Davey is such a heartthrob.

Me: He is a Big Brave Beautiful Boy so I can see why people voted for him.

Nell: I’m not sure Jim is that pleased. I mean someone already sent Harriet a salmon en croute.

Me: True. Have you had any cards, or flowers?

Nell: I might have done.

Me: From a handsome wolf perhaps?

Nell: That is for me to know and you to find out.

Me: Yes, it is. Sorry.

Me: Cheeky animal. I win.

Nell: I was merely licking my nose.

Me: I still win.

Nell: You and your sisters were very loud yesterday.

Me: It was great fun and so lovely to have them here.

Nell: It was good to see you laughing.

Me: Kev enjoyed himself too. I think he liked all the attention.

Nell: He enjoys being surrounded by ladies.

Me: Does Poppy need any help preparing the roast beef?

Nell: It’s all under control. Malcolm is peeling vegetables and Manuel is making the batter for the Yorkshire puddings.

Me: Are you sure Dave isn’t doing that?

Nell: David doesn’t cook. He eats.

Me: It’s just that he had a little batter on his nose.

Nell: That was cheese sauce. Poppy is making cauliflower cheese for Scarlett as she’s a vegetarian. Do keep up.

Me: What’s that got to do with Dave?

Nell: David taste tests all sauces. You know that. He has an excellent palate.

Me: Did Harriet’s parcel arrive, by the way?

Nell: Yes, it was most odd.

Me: It wasn’t bananas, was it?

Nell: No.

Me: Flowers?

Nell: No. Salmon en croute.

Me: Fish in pastry?

Nell: That’s what I just said.

Me: But Harriet’s not that keen on fish. Was it home made?

Nell: No. It was from Barks and Spencer.

Me: Isn’t that The Cat’s favourite ready meal?

Nell: It is. The Cat says you can’t go wrong with a Salmon en croute and some fresh asparagus.

Me: I’m inclined to agree. Do we know who sent it?

Nell: No idea.

Me: I don’t think it was Jim the Farm Dog.

Nell: Of course not. Why even suggest that?

Me: It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.

Nell: Jim’s a meat eater. If he was sending food it would be steak.

Me: Yes. Sorry.

Me: Is Harriet waiting for someone?

Nell: Well spotted, Sherlock Martin.

Me: Alex, Charlotte and Kerry aren’t arriving until late afternoon so she’s got a long wait.

Nell: She knows that. The Welcoming Waiting for your sisters doesn’t begin until later.

Me: Are we expecting anyone else then? Is Sally coming down from London?

Nell: No. Harriet is waiting for Terry.

Me: Terry from Book a Beefy?

Nell: How many other Terrys do we know?

Me: Well, actually we have a good friend called Terry who lives in Oxfordshire.

Nell: Don’t start.

Me: You asked.

Nell: Harriet received a text from Book a Beefy on her iBone saying they would be delivering a parcel today.

Me: How exciting.

Nell: Yes, it is.

Me: It might not be Terry though.

Nell: Terry is our local delivery Beefy. Anyway, that’s not the point.

Me: I hope it’s not bananas.

Nell: Why would anyone send Harriet bananas?

Me: Why did someone send Gladys a jar of olives?

Nell: I beg your pardon?

Me: Or the llamas sensible socks?

Nell: Llamas don’t like sensible socks and Gladys hates olives.

Me: Exactly. I wouldn’t have minded either of those. I love a good olive and we could all do with sensible socks in this cold weather.

Nell: How on earth did we get on to olives and sensible socks?

Me: Book a Beefy have been delivering rather unusual parcels recently and it wasn’t Terry.

Nell: How do we know it was Book a Beefy?

Me: They were seagulls and they were wearing caps.

Nell: Fair enough. Now I’m worried it might be bananas too. Harriet isn’t that keen on bananas.

Me: Is she hoping for sausages?

Nell: No. She’s hoping for flowers. It’s Valentine’s Day on Monday, in case you’d forgotten.

Me: Oh yes. Sorry.

Me: Well, that was quite a reunion. Dave’s face was a picture when we told him Tony was back. He rushed outside and jumped into Tony’s arms.

Nell: We were all overjoyed to see Tony, I must say. It’s been far too long.

Me: The love between those two is a joy to behold.

Nell: Behold? Very flowery for a Friday morning.

Me: Yes, I’m feeling a little flowery today.

Nell: Here we go.

Me: I think it’s because I’m having a second birthday weekend.

Nell: You can still do wrong, you know. The ‘not doing wrong’ rule does not apply for extra birthdays.

Me: What about Kev then? He can never do wrong in your eyes.

Nell: Don’t bring Kev into this. Kev is different.

Me: Yes, he’s in a league of his own where you are concerned.

Nell: Jealousy is a most unbecoming trait.

Me: Actually Tony can probably do no wrong in Dave’s eyes.

Nell: True.

Me: Maybe Robin feels the same way about me?

Nell: Now, I’m going to have to tell you something.

Me: Oh dear.

Nell: There are actually two Robins.

Me: No, there aren’t.

Nell: Haven’t you noticed that Robin is sometimes a little more portly than usual?

Me: He’s just fluffing out his feathers.

Nell: He’s a different bird.

Me: Really?

Nell: In fact ‘he’ might actually be a ‘she’.

Me: You mean they are a pair?

Nell: Possibly.

Me: Who have I been talking to then?

Nell: Both of them.

Me: So the heart shaped leaf might not have been for me?

Nell: No.

Me: I really thought it was.

Nell: But then again, it might have been.

Me: Yes.

Nell: There’s always hope.

Me: Yes.

Nell: And now you have two special Robins, instead of one.

Me: You’re right. Sorry.

Nell: You know when I was running through my plans for the next few days in the activity field?

Me: Is that what you were doing?

Nell: Yes. Why?

Me: Dave was the only one listening.

Nell: Exactly. Poppy took no notice at all and when I asked Harriet to pay attention she smiled and walked away.

Me: Thank goodness for our Big Brave Beautiful Boy.

Nell: Even David wasn’t really listening. You could see he just wanted to run off and play.

Me: To be honest, Nell, I’m on his side. The whole reason for going to the field was to let you all stretch your legs and have a run.

Nell: They can do both.

Me: They can sit and listen at home. Let them have some fun without barking orders at them all the time.

Nell: I wasn’t barking and it was only for a few minutes.

Me: You know what I mean. We oldies like to stop for a while and catch our breath but Dave and Harriet are still young. They want to gallop around.

Nell: And Poppy?

Me: Poppy is a free spirit.

Nell: Poppy will be 9 in June.

Me: I know, and you will be 10 in March.

Nell: Don’t remind me.

Me: Talking of birthdays. You know I sort of missed out on mine because of Kev’s operation?

Nell: We extended it.

Me: I didn’t celebrate properly with my sisters though, so we are doing it this weekend.

Nell: Oh Lordy.

Me: Saturday is lasagne and games and Sunday is roast beef and Yorkshire pudding.

Nell: Does Poppy know?

Me: Of course. We worked it all out at The Birthday Weekend Planning Session.

Nell: You had a planning session without me?

Me: Just joking.

Nell: You had better be.

Me: Sorry.

Me: The yellow chair is obviously the place to be this morning.

Nell: David took my place when I went to answer the door.

Me: He does look a bit guilty. Darling Big Brave Beautiful Boy. But there’s no need. The chair is for everyone.

Nell: I am the senior labrador. Chloe says warmth is good for my arthritis. I should be allowed the sunny chair.

Me: Chloe was very pleased with your hydrotherapy session yesterday. She says you’re doing really well. You’ve lost half a kilo.

Nell: It will be all the stress of the last few weeks and stop trying to distract me.

Me: Who was at the door, by the way?

Nell: The Cat. It wants to talk to Rupert about the Spring Collection.

Me: I think Knitwear Wolf is out in the back garden with Beauregard. They are trying to fix Alejandro’s hammock ready for the Spring.

Nell: I’m not sure alpacas should have hammocks.

Me: What a grumbly thing to say. You know how much Alejandro loves it. He says the gentle movement reminds him of lying on the beaches of Ecuador listening to the waves.

Nell: There’s nothing Ecuadorian about Devon in February.

Me: Well, little Roary loves the hammock. They might even make him one of his own.

Nell: I don’t need a hammock. The yellow chair is enough for me.

Me: It is actually Kev’s. It’s good for his back.

Nell: If Kev needs it, he can have it, but until then it is mine.

Me: Where’s Dave? He’s not on the chair anymore.

Nell: I might have accidentally rustled a packet of biscuits when I passed through the kitchen just now.

Me: That’s naughty.

Nell: Needs must and someone will give him a biscuit. It’s a win-win situation.

Me: Yes. Sorry.